Portugal's Pomp, France's Failure and the Best Football Moments of the Weekend

Top-flight domestic football took yet another break this weekend, as a plethora of national teams endeavoured to earn their spots at next summer's World Cup via play-offs and final qualifying rounds.

A few teams who have already booked their tickets to Brazil played friendly encounters, while there was plenty of intriguing action in the lower-league domestic game.

Here are B/R's choice cuts from a weekend of elation, heartbreak, apathy and bizarre incidents... 

Ronaldo 1-0 Zlatan

The quota of egocentric megastar footballers will be disappointingly low in Brazil next summer, as only Cristiano Ronaldo or Zlatan Ibrahimovic will qualify.

After Friday's first leg in Lisbon, it's advantage Ronaldo as the Real Madrid forward scored the only goal of the game. It was also his 10th in his past five appearances in all competitions. 

Ronaldo also gave defender Mikael Lustig a light headbutt before accusing the Swede of play-acting—clearly showing he has absolutely no sense of irony. 

Sweden looked as if they may grab a precious away goal in the first half, but judging by the five goals they leaked in their final group stage match with Germany, it was always more likely that the Scandinavian defence would be breached. 

The stage is now set for The Mighty Zlatan to shine in Stockholm on Tuesday... 

Laurent Koscielny Had a Night to Forget in Kiev

On paper, France should have had no trouble dismissing Ukraine in the first leg of their play-off in Ukraine. There were, however, two "X-factors" in play: Kiev isn't an easy place to go on a cold night in November, and Les Bleus are partial to the occasional humiliating capitulation.

Goals from Roman Zozulya and Andriy Yarmolenko sealed Ukraine's first-ever win over France, with the latter converting a penalty following a Laurent Koscielny foul. The defender and Olexsandr Kucher were both shown needless red cards in injury time, topping a miserable night for the French.

If Ukraine are able to defend their lead at the Stade de France, the French face the prospect of missing their first major tournament in 20 years.

According to The Telegraph, readers of Le Parisien newspaper have voted this motley crew as the "worst French team in history." They should feel wonderfully encouraged for the return leg, then.  

The Ivory Coast Earned Their 3rd Consecutive World Cup Place

The odds were stacked against Senegal in the second leg of their CAF playoff with the Ivory Coast. Not only were they trailing 3-1 on aggregate, but they were forced to play their "home" leg in Morocco due to crowd trouble at a previous match with the Elephants.  

After Moussa Sow's 77th-minute penalty, Salomon Kalou quashed hopes of an aggregate comeback with a stoppage-time equaliser, cementing their third consecutive World Cup Finals appearance. 

Didier Drogba may have given away the penalty—and infuriated with his theatrics—but the 35-year-old also pulled off a fantastic acrobatic goal-line clearance.  

Ethiopia Felt 'Cheated' as Nigeria Booked Their Spot in Brazil

The Ivory Coast and Cameroon will be joined by fellow CAF nation Nigeria in Brazil next summer after their aggregate 4-1 victory over Ethiopia.

Leading 2-1 from the first leg in Addis Ababa, the Super Eagles won 2-0 on Saturday thanks to a penalty from Victor Moses and a late Victor Obinna effort. 

The match, however, did not pass without controversy, as Ethiopia manager Sewnet Bishaw insisted that his side were cheated out of a World Cup place. ESPNFC reports:

"

I respect Keshi; he has done a good job organising this team. But the ref cheated us. We had two penalties denied us. And then he awarded one wrong one to Nigeria. That penalty to Nigeria affected the tide.

"

The Africa Cup of Nations champions have now been successful in five of their past six World Cup qualification campaigns. 

England Underwhelmed Against a Red-Hot Chile Side

A relatively meaningless run-out for already-qualified England against Chile should have whetted appetites for next summer, but it ended in a chorus of boos from those who remained in their seats at Wembley, as Roy Hodgson lost his first home game in charge of the national team. 

Barcelona's Alexis Sanchez scored a brace for the South American nation who are undefeated against the Three Lions since 1953, leaving many in fear that Germany could inflict even greater damage on Tuesday evening. 

Ravel Morrison Scored a Training Ground Golazo

It wasn't all doom and gloom for Team England this weekend, as West Ham's Ravel Morrison showed the Three Lions' future is bright with a stunning goal while training with England's U21s.

Training ground goals aren't worth much compared to their competitive equivalents, but the 20-year-old's timing and skill during a backheel volley showed Manchester Utd what they could have won if they tolerated his troublemaking ways. 

Wrexham Quite Literally Scored a Netbuster

As usual, lower-league football continued during the international break, with Wrexham visiting promotion-chasing Kidderminster in the Conference on Saturday.

The Welsh side were trailing by two goals in the 71st minute, when Adrian Cieslewicz slotted home. Whereas Stefan Kiessling's wide effort famously snuck into the net last month, Cieslewicz's goal escaped through a hole in the net, prompting referee Amy Fearn to award a goal kick.

After six minutes of protest, the official finally conceded that the goal had gone in. It was in vain, however, as Kidderminster emerged 3-1 victors. 

Barnet Had a Winning Chance Go Up in Smoke

Kidderminster wasn't the only place where goal-based shenanigans took place in the Conference this weekend. 

Barnet fought back to a 2-2 draw at home to league leaders Cambridge after going two goals down but were denied a 92nd-minute winner when the ball disappeared into a plume of smoke before hitting Bees striker George Sykes and landing in the net. 

The linesman decided that the ball had gone out of play before Sykes' touch, even though it was in play when it vanished in the smoke—caused by a flare—and still in play when it landed.

Brazil Scored a Beautiful Team Goal in a 5-0 Victory over Honduras

This writer was lucky enough to spend the weekend in Miami reporting for B/R on Brazil's friendly encounter with Honduras.

There was nothing particularly friendly about the treatment Honduras players gave to Neymar—their rough treatment suggested they were confused by the sport they were playing in the Miami Dolphins' American Football stadium—but the World Cup hosts put on a dominant display in a 5-0 victory.

During the Friday training session, Luiz Felipe Scolari's side spent at least 20 minutes practising a counter-attacking move involving no opposing defence and plenty of short passing. This drill was clearly put to good use in the fifth goal, where a series of backheel flicks led to a brilliant strike from substitute Hulk. 

The most impressive performance, however, was that of diminutive Shaktar Donetsk winger Bernard. He scored a decent goal and covered so much ground that he appeared to be running both wings. Evidently, Neymar isn't the only superstar on this team. 

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