Ten Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch Hornswoggle

Hello everyone.

As always, I would like to thank you for spending a few minutes with me.

I would like to start of by saying I HATE HORNSWOGGLE!

Every time I see that little roach on TV, I just want to throw my shoe at it.

So that inspired me a little bit.

I have decided to come up with my top ten things I would rather do than watch Hornswoggle on TV.

I apologize to anyone that likes that little wimp.

What can I say? He just annoys the hell out of me.

I cant stand the way he looks, talks, walks or anything else that waste of TV time does.

So with out further a due, here are the ten things I would rather do than watch Hornswoggle.

10. I would rather be stuck in a elevator listening to the muzak version of Celine Dione's "My Heart Will Go On."

9. I would rather be stripped naked, get covered in honey and thrown into a tub full of flesh ants.

8. I would rather have my teeth drilled with no Novocaine.

While the dentist insists on trying to have a conversation with me.

7. I would rather be chained to my couch for days watching a video on how to program my TV remote.

6. I would rather see Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life and Bea Arthur from the Golden Girls do a lesbian scene.

5. I would rather have my fellows nailed to a tree with a nail gun.

4. I would rather watch every Ernest movie non stop.

3. I would rather have one of my legs cut off, then enter a butt-kicking contest.

2. I would rather have my eye lids taped open while someone poured bleach into them.

1. I would rather try to listen to Ozzy Osbourne try to recite the whole book of War and Peace.

Sorry folks, I'm bored at work.

If you hate Hornswoggle, let me know what you would rather do then watch him.

Thanks for reading,

Matt Hester