Kane as WWE's Corporate Monster Is the Scariest He's Ever Been

David Bixenspan@davidbixFeatured ColumnistNovember 5, 2013

Corporate Kane makes a deal with the devil.
Corporate Kane makes a deal with the devil.

Last week on Raw, out of nowhere, Kane offered himself to Stephanie McMahon as her corporate monster.  While in the storyline, it didn't really make sense to happen so suddenly, it did made sense to put him in that slot since Big Show is now a babyface.

After Raw last night, that's not exactly how it's playing out.  When Kane said he'd be a corporate monster, I thought he'd just be a monster volunteering his services to The Authority and their corporate allies.  I didn't expect him to literally be a corporate monster.

In a suit and tie with a full head of hair growing in, as well as with a completely different demeanor, Kane came out last night to his regular entrance music.  Instead of joining in on The Shield and Randy Orton's beat-down on Big Show, he calmly handed them chairs and observed the attacked while chatting with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon.

He's not the Big Red Machine anymore.  He's not the Devil's Favorite Demon, or whatever other awkward nickname you want to use.  He's not even a comedy act anymore, the guy in the goofy costume making anger collages with Daniel Bryan.  He's not shooting lightning at stagehands or setting Jim Ross on fire.

He's something much scarier: a generic corporate businessman.  Jokes aside, it was oddly unnerving to see Kane coming out like that, especially since he still had his regular music and video.  The disconnect between it all made it creepier.

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So if Kane starts talking about libertarian politics or whatever, I hope he's still named Kane and still has his old entrance music and the video with the flames everywhere.  It's just plain weird that this is the same guy.  The same element that made it funny to hear Kane talking in his natural voice while wearing the costume is what makes seeing Kane in a suit and tie scary.

Plus, on top of that, the fantastical element of Kane is gone.  When he was shooting lighting at stagehands or making fireballs materialize out of thin air, he was a pro wrestler with superpowers, so he was too out of this world to be outright scary.  Even when he didn't have magical powers and was just a straight-up psychopath throwing a lit matchbook on Jim Ross's stuntman years later, it was so over the top and badly produced that it was more goofy than scary.

I want to see Kane's performance go as far away from the regular Kane character as possible. I want him to plug the "Adventures of Citizen X" political blog that Glenn Jacobs writes in real life.  I want him to be Triple H and Stephanie McMahon's consigliere, consulting them on the financial and sociopolitical consequences of their actions.  I want him to act as buttoned-up and corporate as possible.

But I still want him to be named Kane and come out to his old entrance music and video.  It needs to be as weird and disconcerting as possible that he's acting this way now.

What does everyone else think?  Is it too radical a shift?  Or just crazy enough to work?  Let us know in the comments.

David Bixenspan has been Bleacher Report's WWE Team Leader and a contracted columnist since 2011. You can follow him on Twitter @davidbix and check out his wrestling podcasts at LLTPod.com.

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