Liver's NFL Wild Card Picks of the Week: Eagles over Giants

Happy New Year, dear readers. Now that the hangover is starting to subside (The Liver personally endorses Chasers—the only anti-hangover remedy that really works), it's time to start handicapping NFL playoff games. With a stellar finish to the regular season, the Liver's got that special feeling in his pants—and no, it's not the same one he gets when he sees Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson.

As an aside: Have you ever seen a more incredible college football game than Boise State and Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl? Maybe Texas-USC from last year can top it...but only because that game was for the national title. Like the Liver's always said: The ol' Statue of Liberty play never goes out of style. Kudos to Boise State coach Chris Peterson for having the sack to go for the win rather than force another OT—he out-Stooped Bob Stoops, who's just about the only other coach in the game who'd try something so ballsy.

In other news: Just when the Liver starts thinking he might really have a substance abuse problem...along comes Mike Tyson to provide a little perspective. In a police interview following his arrest on drug possession and DUI charges last week, Tyson told cops he smokes cocaine packed into Marlboro cigarettes, is unable to roll his own joints, and gets "a little crazy" without the use of the antidepressant Zoloft. After Tyson was pulled over for driving erratically, cops saw him wiping away loose tobacco and a white powder from his BMW's center console. When asked for his license and registration, Tyson pulled out a "large amount of paperwork" and handed the stack to an officer, saying, "You can look in there." The police report also notes that Tyson was flashing the peace sign at the start of his interview. He told investigators that "in Ireland, if you turn your hand the opposite way, it means, 'F*** you.'"

What was that about substance abuse?

Of course it goes without saying that the following wild card picks AGAINST THE SPREAD are for RECREATIONAL USE ONLY. Only Nick Saban, Wayne Huizenga, Mike Tyson, Don Shula, Travis Taylor, Charlie Weis, Bob Stoops, Bob Knight, Matt Leinart, and Britney Spears would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.

Last week's record: 9-7

Final 2006 Regular Season Record Against the Spread: 130-120-6

Saturday January 6, 2007

Kansas City Chiefs (+7) at Indianapolis Colts

Herman Edwards leads a charmed life. Not only do his Chiefs get into the playoffs on the last day of the regular season (thanks to the 49ers)—but they get to play the floundering Colts, whose run defense is the worst in the NFL. Think Larry Johnson might be looking forward to Saturday? After starting the season 9-0, Indy went 3-4 in their last seven games...and we all know how the playoffs are kryptonite to Peyton Manning. Not that a loss here would be all his fault. The Colts are 8-0 at home this year and have a handful of key players returning for the game: safety Bob Sanders, receiver Reggie Wayne, and tight end Dallas Clark. Sanders missed 12 of the last 14 games with a knee injury—but if he can help put the breaks on Johnson, the Colts just might grind out a win. Still, seven points is a lot to lay on such a porous defense. Pick: Kansas City

Dallas Cowboys (+3) at Seattle Seahawks

Both teams come into this game, in the immortal words of Joe Namath, "struggling": Both have lost three of their last four, and both have serious problems on defense. Seattle had a trio of corners (Herndon, Williams and Trufant) go down in the last week—and picked up spares (Rich Gardner and Pete Hunter) who had been working, respectively, at a Home Depot and a Dallas loan center. Matt Hasselbeck hasn't looked good all year. Shaun Alexander, even when healthy, has been inconsistent. That said, though, Qwest Field may be the most hostile environment for a visiting team outside of Arrowhead Stadium. And the Liver's beloved Cowboys—oh god. Their defense has been giving up an AVERAGE of 30 points a game over the last four weeks...thus compelling Tony Romo to force the issue on offense...which has resulted in a spike in turnovers. Still, the Cowboys do have two 1,000-yard receivers (Glenn and Baby Drop) to along with a 60-catch tight end (Witten)—all of whom should have a field day against the makeshift Seahawks secondary. The 'Boys have also been better on the road than at home...but I can't in good gambling conscience take them here. Not that the Seahawks are brimming with talent—but when you fall to the Detroit Lions at home, you lose all credibility. Expect this one to be decided on a late Josh Brown field goal. Pick: Seattle

Sunday, January 7, 2007

N.Y. Jets (+8 1⁄2) at New England

Round three of Mentor (Mangini) vs. Master (Belichick). Both teams won on the other's home turf, and both are extremely well-coached. Mangini has been nothing short of amazing in leading a team that NO ONE expected to win more than three or four games to ten wins and a playoff berth. New England, on the other hand, has been steady all season—not too great, not too bad. In the end, home field + Brady + Belichick + playoff experience should equal a victory for the Pats here...but DON'T underestimate Mangini: If anyone can exploit the Pats' weaknesses, he's the guy to do it. Still, Belichick always has something for situations like this—and given his suddenly cordial attitude towards Mangini, you've got to figure he's got something cooking under that baggy sweatshirt of his. I like the Pats straight up, but against the spread—Pick: Jets

N.Y. Giants (+7) at Philadelphia

The Giants lose six of their last eight games amidst an ongoing team-wide soap opera...and STILL make the playoffs. Only in the NFC. Filthy, meanwhile, rolled off five straight wins behind Jeff Garcia after Donovan McNabb's torn ACL had most experts leaving them for dead. The Birds are easily the hottest team in the NFC...but you've got to wonder how they're going to keep it up. Their greatest weakness is against the run—and if Tiki Barber can do half of what he did last week against the Redskins, things could get interesting. This is by far the most difficult game to get a handle on, but my gut tells me to go with Filthy. Like the Cowboys, the Giants haven't done anything lately to show that they can beat a good team; their last two wins were over a Chris Weinke-led Carolina squad and the down-and-out Pigs in D.C. I see no reason why they're going to suddenly hit the gas and beat a streaking team on the road. That combined with the fact that Eli Manning SUCKS leads me to—Pick: Filthy