Top 10 Things Washington Capitals Can Do To Beat the Revamped Rangers

Martin AverySenior Writer IApril 16, 2009

WASHINGTON - APRIL 15:  Alex Ovechkin #8 of the Washington Capitals skates with Nik Antropov #80 of the New York Rangers during Game One of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals of the 2009 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs on April 15, 2009 at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC.  (Photo by Len Redkoles/Getty Images)

The Washington Capitals did not have any recent history with the New York Rangers, since they didn't play them after the NHL Trade Deadline.

They watched game tapes showing the Rangers under new coach John Tortorella with Nik Antropov, Derek Morris, and Sean Avery in the lineup.

Apparently that didn't help much. So, since I've been following the Rangers for a while, I've tried to come up with a short list of things they can do to beat the Rangers.

1. Ignore the Washington Capitals' Joke of the Day.

Q: What do you call a big gun that shoots 30 times but doesn't fire a bullet?
A: A Caps gun.

2. Beat Henrik Lundqvist.

They say his weak spot is over the shoulder on his stick side.
Oh, you tried that already? Never mind.

3. Ignore Sean Avery. Pretend he's invisible.

Oh yeah, he's impossible to ignore. Never mind.

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4. Get your big guns, Ovechkin and Green, on the scoreboard.

Maybe they should take more shots?

5. Shut down the Rangers' big scorers the way they shut down yours.

Oh, wait a minute. They don't have one or two scorers, they have ten. I guess you can't shut them all down!

6. Find a guy with about 30 PIM and target him with a huge hit including an elbow smash to the face.

You already did that to Fredrik Sjöström? And he just got up again and played the rest of the game? Well then .... Never mind.

7. Make sure you finish the regular season with enough points to get home ice advantage.

Didn't work? Too bad. Oh well, you know what the Leafs say: there's always next year.

8. Forget about the Rangers power play unit. They have the worst record in the NHL. Take as many penalties as you want.

What? They scored two goals on you? Hmmmm. How odd! That could be a bad sign!

9. Score a goal and then pretend your hockey stick is just too hot to pick up. That'll make 'em mad!

Already tried that schtick? Didn't go over too well? Try it again. You know what they say: If at first you don't exceed ....

10. Draw penalties from guys like Markus Naslund.

Oh, yeah—the Rangers have the best penalty-killing unit in the NHL. Forget that one!

I guess there aren't ten things the Caps can do to beat the Rangers!