From Mock Chicken to Mock NFL Drafts

As a kid, along with pounds of bologna, my parents used to order mock chicken at the supermarket deli.  I had no idea what mock chicken was, but I presumed it was chicken of some kind.

Turns out, it isn't.  Not even close. 

My pea-sized brain only figured that one out in the fifth grade when I learned that mock actually means fake. 

I'm sure that while fake lunch meat certainly does have a delicious, haunting, je ne sais quoi allure for some, I have not eaten mock chicken ever since. 

These days, the Internet is rife with speculation about the upcoming NFL draft. After perusing several websites and sports blogs, it seems the prevailing winds are blowing Chris Long to Miami, Glenn Dorsey to St. Louis, and Matt Ryan to Atlanta. 

As a dedicated sports observer, a casual Sportscenter viewer, and a Sports Illustrated waiting-room reader, I won't debate this because I don't care.  

I feel I should, considering how many mock drafts are out there but I just don't.  I enjoy the NFL, I really do but mock drafts just aren't my bag.  

I won't begrudge anybody their right to put together a mock draft, nor will I ever mock any one who does. 

In fact, I'm amazed at the thought and quality analysis that a lot of NFL fans put into their mock drafts. 

Also, part of the fun of being a sports fan is to speculate what may happen, which team will sign the top prospects and, ultimately, to complain about it all. I'm guilty of it, too. 

When it comes to drafts, though, no matter which sport it may be, I'm a results guy. 

I'm also an Atlanta Falcons fan, but don't hold that against me.

See, in my mind, if Ryan does end up signing with the Falcons, that's great. But until he starts winning me some games and shows real leadership out on the field, the draft—the mock ones and the real one—mean nothing to me.  

Things change, and I imagine there are few of us close enough to any NFL team, owner, or coach to know what is going on in their heads. 

Sure, you can draw pretty accurate conclusions from statistics, past team performances, and needs, as well as hints from press scrums and interviews with those involved in the process. But with more than a month until the draft occurs, there's plenty that can happen and a lot more until the opening kickoff.

Years ago, one of my English teachers told me to avoid using word definitions as a writing technique but I'm going to anyway. 

According to dictionary.com, there are 12 definitions of the word mock.  I will focus only on one, the one I learned back in the fifth grade: "an imitation; counterfeit; fake."

And that's all mock drafts—like mock chicken—really are.

Yes, there are plenty of folk that enjoy partaking in both, but I won't touch either one of 'em.