10 Ways for European Soccer Fans to Pass the Offseason

Euro 2012 is a distant memory.

The Olympics are still a few weeks away.

The European soccer season is even farther off in the distant future.

What's a fan to do?

First of all, take a deep breath. We'll get through this together.

Now, here are 10 suggestions that could help you bridge the gap until the European season restarts next month.

Got another one? You know what to do.

Follow MLS

Who says Americans don't like soccer?

Major League Soccer, the top league in the United States, draws surprisingly large crowds and the quality of play is better than you might think.

Plus, the league features big names of yesteryear like Thierry Henry, David Beckham and others.

And if that's not enough to convince you, consider this: MLS keeps chugging right on through the summer while all the major European leagues are in their offseasons.

What else do you have to do?

Follow Another Sport

Yes, other sports exist, and some of them can be highly entertaining.

Wimbledon concluded Sunday with a thrilling men's championship match between Andy Murray and Roger Federer. The day before, Serena Williams capped off a memorable comeback with her first major title in two years.

If American sports are more your speed, there's the marathon Major League Baseball season, the year-round hoity-toity fest known as the PGA Tour and, uhh, NASCAR.

It's not soccer but, hey, what is?

How About a Hobby?

Collect stamps. Collect records. Collect dust for all I care. Just do something.

There are plenty of viable hobbies out there for the average soccer enthusiast.

Want to get in shape like your favorite players? Why not train for a 5K?

Obsessed with soccer fashion? Learn to sew and create your own.

Watch Old Matches

What better way to relive old glories than to, well, relive them?

If you still know how to operate a VCR, bust out all your old tapes of classic matches. Then watch them all this summer. That'll make you feel really good.

Only know how to work with DVRs, DVDs and all that? That's fine. There are vendors who have your best interest at heart.

Read a Book

Back before the Internet and the digital revolution, people did this crazy activity called reading.

You're doing it right this second, but back in the day, people would actually take in extended narratives called novels and non-fiction.

Know what? Some people still do it, and it can actually be fun. Really.

If you're a loyal B/R type, you should already have Will Tidey's book. If not, you should order it here.

Learn a Language

People like to say footballers are stupid. Yeah, well, how many languages do you speak?

Your average Europe-based soccer player—read: not English—speaks multiple languages.

Just think about it. If a player makes stops in Germany, Italy, Spain and England, there's a good chance he speaks all the languages spoken in those locations—in addition to whatever his native tongue is.

Once again, then. How many languages do you speak?

Enroll in Summer Classes

There are colleges everywhere. By the law of averages, at least a few of them would surely be happy to have you.

It's not like you have to sign up for a four-year, intensive-study program. All you have to do is sign up for a night class or two.

Get creative. Do something related to your occupation. It might even help you earn a promotion.

Write Silly Haikus

You know what haikus are, right?

They're poems with three lines. The first line has five syllables, the second has seven and the third has five again.

What are haikus about? Whatever you want them to be about.

Here's one I wrote in the last 15 seconds:

"

Arsene furious

Van Persie screwed him over

Goat cheese is tasty.

"

See? Fun! Now it's your turn.

Troll Opposing Players and Teams Online

The interwebs are full of trolls. In fact, I think some smart aleck just trolled me!

Why not join him? Not in trolling me—in trolling players.

After all, no one else is going to remind Cristiano Ronaldo 37,137 times on Twitter and Facebook that he didn't take a penalty against Spain.

Unless, that is, you're up to the challenge.

(NOTE: Please don't actually troll Cristiano Ronaldo.)

If All Else Fails…

…sob quietly next to the window until the first day of the new season arrives.

Follow @MikeCummings37