NBA Draft Lottery 2012: Each Team's Perfect Lucky Charm

The NBA Lottery is Wednesday night and we have the lucky charms that would guarantee each of the hungry teams the ultimate success. 

The Golden State Warriors have a couple tokens of luck with them for tonight's lottery draw. While I think the notion is ridiculous, I will bite just long enough to level the playing field. 

The San Francisco Chronicle reported on Warriors co-owner Peter Guber's lucky shark tooth and general manager Bob Myers' lucky coin which he will bring with him to New York. 

Why should the Warriors hog all the voo doo? Here is a collection of the best lucky charms each team should bring with them on lottery night. 

If they can accomplish that, Anthony Davis will be theirs for the taking. 

Of course, these are just silly suggestions that are as ridiculous as the belief the four-leaf clovers will bring a wealth of riches. 

I am dying to hear what you all think would be a perfect charm for each team. Sound off in the section below. 

Charlotte Bobcats

Lucky Charm: Kwame Brown's baby hands

Michael Jordan's predilections in life are gambling, hitting clutch shots and drafting like a blind man drives cars. 

You just know that the great Jordan is heading toward disaster no matter what selection he has. The only way to work past the bad mojo is to bring one of the worst hands in basketball to the draft. 

Jordan's biggest mistake as an executive was taking a big man who catches basketballs like they were dipped in olive oil. 

Brown has freakishly small hands and they would weird me out if his inability to play basketball didn't make me laugh so hard. 

Chopping his hands off for this exercise is not needed, because we will allow him to enter the building with them. 

Washington Wizards

Lucky Charm: JaVale McGee's favorite Slinky 

The worst thing to happen to the Wizards organization is the loss of JaVale McGee, because at least he made things interesting. 

No, you are boring and awful. 

There is no doubt a box of oddball things left near his locker. There just has to be. I imagine a box of toys that would have kept his mind glued enough that he wouldn't just wander the streets before the game. 

We need this box. 

Cleveland Cavaliers

Lucky Charm: Nick Gilbert 

Um, so I wanted to make this a ridiculous lucky charm suggestion but damn it if Nick Gilbert didn't actually win the Cavaliers a great spot in last year's draft.

I was thinking a lock of Craig Ehlo's hair, but after the Cavs won the 2011 Draft Lottery, I am ready to have Nick Gilbert present to collect the spoils in 2012. 

New Orleans Hornets

Lucky Charm: David Stern's smile

David Stern only smiles once a year, and it's rumored that the nation's energy reserves spike about 10 percent when it happens. 

Stern can be a tad creepy until he lets those pearly yellows shine for all to see. Kids jump a little higher and the nation forgets about their worries. 

I figure, Stern has done a great amount to shape the Hornets' present, why not have him command their future?

The Hornets have two chances in this lottery so this should satisfy both

Sacramento Kings

Lucky Charm: remaining hair mousse 

The Maloofs never met a shirt they could button at the neck, nor a can of hair mousse they didn't destroy. 

The good people of Sacramento have a love/hate relationship thing going on with these brothers right now. Most of it revolves around how they love to hate them and their need to move out of Sacramento. 

Can you blame them, denizens of Sacramento? The most fun I ever had in your city was when I drove through it. 

But this isn't about your remarkable city and the lack of fun things to do. It's about lucky charms, and the Maloofs could use some more mousse, if any remains. 

Runner-Up Lucky Charm: One Vlade Divac Flop 

Brooklyn Nets

Lucky Charm: Beyonce 

Duh. 

This pick goes to the Portland Trail Blazers if it's outside the top three, so they need a huge amount of luck. 

It will also be a miracle if the Nets can convince stars to come to the Nets, even as they move to Brooklyn. This is more of a selfish way to get some beauty into the room. 

Wednesday night will feature a bunch of old men in a stuffy room waiting for their draft selection to be announced. 

If this were less sexy, Stan Van Gundy would be involved. I say get Jay-Z's boo into the room and let her do her magic. 

Golden State Warriors

Lucky Charm: Richard Jefferson brick

As we stated earlier, the Warriors are coming loaded with lucky charms already, but they could use as much fortuitous items as they can handle. 

They can leave the shark tooth and lucky coin at home and bring one of the bricks Richard Jefferson has thrown up in the last couple of years. 

There should be plenty lying around. 

Pick goes to Utah if outside the top seven. 

Toronto Raptors

Lucky Charm: Barney 

There are a few things the Raptors could bring to the lottery party, but I would love to see a dinosaur that is actually menacing. 

I always thought Chris Bosh looked like the raptor that adorns the jersey and that just didn't work for me. I think the franchise could also use a charm to actually keep stars on the team, but I will settle on the one dinosaur that freaks me out, Barney. 

Detroit Pistons

Lucky Charm: One Larry Brown hug

This whole franchise has gone down the tubes since Larry Brown left to bark, scream and be a general hard ass elsewhere. 

It's time to bring the softer side of Larry Brown back for one marvelous night. If not, Rip Hamilton's mask should suffice. It's kept him looking like a decent basketball player for years so it must be magical. 

Portland Trail Blazers

Lucky Charm: Greg Oden

As you can tell by the others on this list, the only way to get positive juju is to counteract it with past bad juju. 

It's pretty scientific and I think I read it the one time I stumbled into a library. 

Greg Oden had all the signs of a player you want to steer clear of. One leg is longer than the other and he bears an uncanny resemblance to Benjamin Button. 

Let's see what kind of positive energy he can lend at the lottery. 

Milwaukee Bucks

Lucky Charm: Scott Skiles' comb

Well, we already gave Kwame Brown and his inability to catch to the Bobcats, so we have to look elsewhere. 

Somewhere, deep in the recesses of Scott Skiles' home lies an unopened drawer that hasn't been used in decades. In it lies a comb that has yet to be utilized. 

It's time we get some mileage out of that bad boy. 

Phoenix Suns

Lucky Charm: Suns Gorilla 

I am no Phoenix Suns fan, and I generally hate all mascots, but I have always had a soft spot for the Suns Gorilla. 

There is no reason there should be a gorilla in the middle of a desert, but I love his style and ability to hit a trampoline at full sprint. 

Houston Rockets

Lucky Charm: Luis Scola's forehead

Lastly, we come to the most vexing body part in all of the NBA, Luis Scola's forehead. It's been bugging the crap out of me for years. 

It's clearly too small for his gigantic face, but it's also far too prominent. 

We need the top minds in the country working on this conundrum, but first he needs to get to New York. 

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