Greatest Overweight Athletes in Sports History

They have come to play, and they brought their gut along with them. 

Here is a breakdown that will make you fit people feel a bit sad and we zoftig types feeling vindicated. Sure we can't run a mile without stopping and prefer escalators to stairs, but we have some superheroes, and they are listed here. 

This is a list of all the top fat asses in sport.

Sure, they may not have posters that fit on walls and their FatHeads need to be delivered on the back of a semi-truck, but they can certainly ball it up. 

Fitness be damned, these guys can play, and that makes me smile. 

Follow me on a journey through the chubby giants of sport. Just make sure you bring enough snacks for the rest of us. 

Rankings based on a combination of size and talent—a real exact science.

25. Butterbean

I could have placed Albert Haynesworth on this list, but I can't ever put him on a best of list and feel good about it. 

With that, I give you a better athlete and better man, Eric Esch, also known as Butterbean. The man was a novelty boxer but I say he is magnificent. 

24. Eddy Curry

Oh sure, he may have slimmed down for the Miami Heat, but we know better. 

Curry will always be that lazy oaf that found little reason to give it his all for the New York Knicks. He is a fat man trapped in a bench player's body. 

I can't wait for the next transformation. 

23. Roy Nelson

"Big Country" is only slightly more successful than the last man to rock the same moniker. Whatever happened to Bryant Reeves anyway?

This big guy is still making in roads in the MMA scene and has a record of 16-7, but he is a gorgeous specimen right here. 

In fact, it reminds me of myself after a huge dinner. The only thing he needs here is a toothpick and a beer. 

22. Tiny Yarbrough

Oh, I get it. His nickname is "Tiny."

The fact that he can actually walk around in a ring is enough for me to place him on this list as one of the best, if not the biggest. 

21. Shawn Kemp

I hope you have some tissues and a teddy bear to hug, because there is no sadder tale in all of NBA history than Shawn Kemp getting fat. 

The fact that this once high-flying maestro still played with far more poundage around his midsection means we get to include him here. 

I can't get through one session of NBA Jam without shedding a tear. 

20. Glen Davis

He may have issues with his nickname "Big Baby," but it is far too fitting to ever die. 

In fact, he happens to be carrying every last ounce of baby fat and can play like a little kid sometimes. Often I have to ask, "What the hell is Big Baby doing?"

Sort of like when he received a tech for pulling his pants down. 

19. Oliver Miller

Trust me, the athletes on this list will actually get quite good. 

For the moment, we scrape the barrel of those that merely amazed us with the fact that a team actually drafted them. 

Oliver Miller's best move in the post was heavy breathing and his ability to take 10 minutes to get up court was uncanny. 

18. Jared Lorenzen

Yay, we get to one of my favorite fat athletes of all time. There isn't a better quarterback for nicknames and he also happens to be the best fat QB of all time. 

"The Pillsbury Throwboy" was a Kentucky standout and later drafted by the Giants, sent to the Colts and then ended up playing in the National Indoor Football League.

Please send your favorite Lorenzen nicknames in the comments section. 

17. Cecil Fielder

They must put something in the water out there in Detroit, because Cecil Fielder went off when he became a Tigers slugger in 1990. 

Trust me when I say that he is but one baseball fatty to make this list, and they are peppered throughout. 

16. Diego Maradona

One of the best to ever play on the pitch is down on the list, not because of his marvelous talent, but because there are far fatter athletes. 

Still, we had to include the man who looked like an average Joe, until he started playing. 

15. Charles Barkley

Here is why you find the "Round Mound of Rebound" so low on the list: I never thought he was all that fat. 

However, I have received complaint before in leaving the Chuckster out of fat lists, and I can see why. He has that body type that exudes certain look of chubbiness, but I always saw him as stout. 

Let's stop the nitpicking and call that man fat, as well as one of the best players ever. 

14. John Kruk

John Kruk went from fat baseball star to fat baseball analyst, and the transition was smoother than you would think. 

Kruk was a three-time All-Star first baseman for the Phillies that managed a career .300 batting average. He is now spewing his knowledge on Baseball Tonight. 

Still, I will always remember him stepping in against Randy Johnson in the All-Star game. 

13. Tony Siragusa

Tony Siragusa retired before he decided to slim down a bit. 

Seriously, I used to watch this Ravens defensive tackle and wonder who one man could be so good and look so bad. 

You can now hear "Goose" breathing heavily on the sidelines of FOX-broadcasted games. 

12. David Wells

Parents, don't let your kids overeat. If you do, get them into baseball, a sport that looks very kindly on the chubby athletes of the world. 

Wells retired with 239 wins, one of them happening to be a perfect game. His idol is Babe Ruth, who he tried to model his physique after, I presume. 

11. John Daly

Of course, I am referring to the legend that was, and not the slimmed-down shell of a John Daly we see before us currently. 

Daly decided to clean up the alcohol use and drop some pounds somewhere around 2010. That is when I took down the Daly alter I kept in my garage. 

The man wasn't a hedonist; he was a Dalyist. He would eat, drink and golf. I am sure he found some time for other things we couldn't possibly print here. 

10. Shaquille O'Neal

Yes, if we can call Barkley fat, we can certainly label one of the best big men to ever play the game as one as well. 

Shaq was never known for his great work ethic, but we forgive him because he so thoroughly dominated the rest of the NBA when he was in his prime. 

9. Prince Fielder

Like father, like son. 

Fielder has picked up where his giant dad left off and has been clubbing homers from the start. He has never met a ball he couldn't destroy, much like meatball sandwiches. 

Fielder was a vegetarian for a hot minute, but found out that meant not eating meat, so he came back to the dark side. 

8. George Foreman

The man gave hope to all retirees that had dreams of winning a string of boxing matches. Sure, the prerequisite is that you are retiring as one of the best in the sport. 

He returned to the ring in 1987 and sort of meandered around like Bald Bull pummeling any boxer that stood in his way. 

He went 31-3 after his return, and 26 of those wins were by knockout. I, of course, have to give him mad dope props for the Foreman Grill, which is how I eat everything...everything. 

7. William Perry

When you are nicknamed after an appliance, you are pushing a few bills on the scale. 

Perry was a great tackle, commanding the attention of more than one blocker on the line. However, he had use as a fullback that couldn't be stopped. 

6. Vince Wilfork

Vince Wilfork, also known as "Vince Will Fork that Last Bite off Your Plate You Were Saving for the End of the Meal and He Will Laugh While You Sob."

Not sure that moniker will catch on. 

He remains one of the best tackles in the game, but that is besides the point. If you are at a restaurant and Wilfork walks in, you park your ass firmly in your seat, because you are about to see something special. 

5. CC Sabathia

Whoever said pinstripes were slimming never caught a day game when Sabathia was on the bump. He rocks a career 3.52 ERA and 181 career wins, so by all means. 

I hope he never changes, because Samson had his hair and Sabathia has his gut. 

4. Jerome Bettis

He is so big he is called "The Bus," the transport that frequently takes dozens of people to and from work. The crazy part is the name is not that far off. 

The six-time Pro Bowler and three-time All-Pro garnered 13,662 yards rushing and one Super Bowl championship. 

Not too shabby. 

3. Tony Gwynn

All hail one of the best hitters in baseball history. 

There was no greater joy than seeing Gwynn spray the ball to all ends of the field. The fact that he did it with that monstrosity over his belt made it all the more amazing. 

The Hall of Famer is a career .338 hitter and 15-time All-Star—so gangsta. 

2. Andre the Giant

Here is a fun fact that I just made up: Andre the Giant would feed on the entire cows and the dreams of lesser men. 

There will never be another, both in stature and in persona. Not only were his wrestling feats enough to keep us captivated, but he is renowned for his eating and drinking, alleged to have downed 119 beers in six hours. 

I would have loved to see that. 

1. Babe Ruth

Duh. 

There is no way that you didn't see this one coming. Every fat kid in the world has been able to point to this legend of sport and say, "Oh, is my weight a problem? I'll just become Babe Ruth."

Pound that Snickers bar and be sure to drink copious amounts of the naughty stuff. Ruth played with passion and quite possibly a little bit of a buzz. 

Follow me on Twitter and make your day. 

Follow @gabezal