Premier League Survival Sunday Drinking Game

Survival Sunday is almost here. Are you prepared for the party?

Ten English Premier League games will kick off simultaneously on Sunday at 10 a.m. Eastern, and while that's way too early for most sane people to imbibe, we're not here to judge.

In fact, we're here to give you a roadmap, should you choose to take that route. Hey, you're grown-ups, and you can handle your own affairs.

Just to be clear, though, we're advocating that you drink coffee, milk, orange juice or any other non-inebriating beverage while participating in this game.

Ahem. Here we go.

Macca's Many Questions

As commentators go, Steve McManaman is generally pretty good. Compared to the hacks that appear on most American telecasts of soccer matches, he's an absolute genius.

But have you ever noticed how many questions he asks during ESPN's telecasts? You know, like, he's making a statement, but in doing so, he somehow makes it a question?

Kinda like I'm doing right now?

Here are some examples.

Macca: “United have really blown it this year, haven’t they, Ian?”

Ian Darke: "You could certainly make that argument, Macca."

Macca: “QPR have played well at times, Ian, but in the end, they just haven’t done enough to stay up, have they?”

Ian: "You could certainly make that argument, Macca."

Macca: “Mario Balotelli’s really made an arse of himself there, hasn’t he, Ian?”

Ian: "You could certainly make that argument, Macca."

Macca: “He's pulled his pants down and proceeded to take a leak on the pitch, hasn’t he, Ian?”

Ian: "Drink, Macca."

The Incredible, Slipping John Terry

Tuesday was not the best of nights for John Terry.

The veteran Chelsea defender had a nightmare of a game against Liverpool at Anfield, where Liverpool won 4-1.

That night, Terry just couldn't keep his feet planted in the pitch. Of course, it's happened before.

If When it happens again this Sunday, take a drink in J.T.'s (dis)honor.

McBride in the Headlights

Oh, Brian McBride.

We American fans love you, dude. You were such a tough guy as a player, and honestly, you really are an American legend.

This whole studio analyst thing for Fox Soccer? Not working.

Trust us. We really, really, really, really, really want you to succeed (mostly because that would probably mean less of Eric Wynalda).

But for now, we're drinking every time you say painfully obvious things like:

“You know, Rob, I think that for them to win today, they really have to play well.”

Naughty Twitter

Every time you see football-related profanity in your Twitter feed, drink.

Double for anything coming from a member of the mainstream media.

Quadruple if a player manages to tweet something offensive while a game is still going.

Naughty Players

Take a drink for any booking.

One sip for a yellow card.

Two for a second yellow.

Three for a straight red.

Naughty Managers

Sir Alex Ferguson is no spring chicken anymore.

But even at 70, he's clearly not afraid to mix it up with his fellow managers.

If it happens again when Fergie's Manchester United visit Martin O'Neill's Sunderland on Sunday, drain your entire drink.