Dear Ricky Williams...Just Say No

Dear Ricky Williams,

Just when it seemed that Pacman Jones and Michael Vick were going to steal all the negative NFL headlines this spring, you've come back with a vengeance. 

Once again, you've failed a drug test. 

Once again, marijuana was your substance of choice. 

And once again, I can't help but wonder what the hell you were thinking.

Look, I get it: You like pot.  Lots of people do.  I actually don't have a problem with that.  But the NFL does.

And that doesn't seem to register with you. 

If you played in the NBA, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.  Your pot use might get a brief mention from the usual sports media outlets...and then you'd be right back on the court. But you don't play basketball, Ricky, you play football.  At least, you played football.  I don't know if the CFL really counts.  Probably not.  But don't tell Doug Flutie I said that.

You'd think you'd have learned your lesson by now.  Not because you love the game of football and can't stand to be away from it, but because I don't think you can afford not to play.  Even if you have enough money tucked away to stay knee-deep in ganja for the rest of your life, you still owe the Miami Dolphins $8.6 million for breaching your contract back in 2004.  And if I were them, I'd want it back.  After all, Daunte Culpepper's ridiculously large deal isn't going to pay for itself.

If only you could find a way to kick the weed for just a few years.  Then you could come back, make a few million, settle with the Dolphins, and ride off into the sunset in a puff smoke.  

It's a life that Jeff Spicoli would've killed for.

As it is, it looks like you're out of the NFL again.  I can't imagine the Dolphins or any other team wasting their time on you.  I'm not even sure the Toronto Argonauts would want you back.  Maybe you could play in the Arena League.  And if worst comes to worst, I suppose you could always go back to teaching yoga.

Or perhaps I'm wrong here.  Perhaps you really don't need money.  Perhaps all you need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and you ll be fine...

Aloha, Mr. Williams,

Dave