March Madness 2012: Want to Win Your Bracket Pool? Think Like They Do

By now, all the so-called experts have predicted who will make it to Final Four and who is the Cinderella team to jump on.  

You sit down with the seven blank brackets you printed out and are getting ready to knock out your winners.  Chances are you are putting this into your office pool or putting together a bracket pool with your buddies. 

If you’re like me, you think you got this in the bag—that is, until you find out that Susie the receptionist or Bruce the IT guy decided they wanted to play too. Heck, your friend's mom wanted to do a bracket "for fun" cause she won't win, right?  

Susie! 

Man, there goes your chances! Why do you ask? 

Well, because Susie and Bruce use logic that you wouldn’t think is imaginable. Your buddy's mom, well, who knows how she will pick. 

I’m just speaking from experience.  It’s always the random person who finds a way to get the most games correct.

With that, I’ve decided to look at the brackets as someone who would not have the slightest idea which conference Duke is in or who Tom Izzo is.  I’m looking at it as someone who wouldn’t know that a 16-seed has never advanced past the second round or that there are play-in games that take place tonight.

Let's think like a non-sports fan. 

Kentucky plays the winner of Mississippi Valley State and Western Kentucky. Well, you’ve got yourself a Kentucky team who has a big fan in Ashley Judd and I did like Heat that she was in. Western Kentucky has the Hilltoppers and I like the mascot.  As a matter of fact, what exactly is the mascot? I’m taking Kentucky to win that game.

Iowa State and Connecticut is our next matchup to look at. You have Iowa State here and well it’s in Iowa. 

What’s in Iowa?  Corn and lots of it.  I like corn.  It’s probably my favorite vegetable. I know Connecticut is on the East Coast and near the ocean. Their mascot is a Husky!  My first dog was a husky!  I’ll take UConn.

Wichita State and last year's Cinderella, VCU, are up. This is a tough one, because I don’t know where VCU is or what it stands for. The nickname of Wichita State is the Shockers we gotta ride them out right. Who wouldn’t take them?

Indiana and New Mexico State bring the pain, right! Indiana has corn, just like Iowa. New Mexico State, however, is probably close to Roswell and there are aliens there.  I like Will Smith, he was in Men in Black, so we're picking New Mexico State.  

UNLV and Colorado—this one's easy.  Vegas trumps them all, cause gambling is fun!

Baylor and South Dakota State, take the court, please. I would have no reason to visit South Dakota.  As for Baylor, what state are they in? 

Tough one, but you're telling me South Dakota is the Jackrabbits.  Give me the Jackrabbits because, well, that’s a cool mascot.

Notre Dame and Xavier in the 7-10 matchup.  I’ve heard of Notre Dame, one of the few schools I know about.  Xavier, you say?  Is the small junior college down the street?  I’ll pick Notre Dame, because, well, they're probably the only school I know.

Duke and Lehigh—give me details on them, please. Duke are the Blue Devils and Lehigh are the Mountain Hawks.  I've never seen a blue duck before, and to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck—sorry, went off into Billy Madison mode.  Duke because I like the color blue.

On to the second round with the South Region! Kentucky takes on Connecticut. Do you like cats or dogs? The Huskies move on. 

Wichita State and New Mexico State face off and we'll keep the whole Shocker thing going. 

Wichita State moves on. 

UNLV and the Jackrabbits for a chance to move on. Keeping it simple, Vegas still rules here!  Bright lights and poker chips for all. 

Notre Dame and the Dukies. Well, St. Patrick’s Day is coming up, so let's take the Irish. 

Oh boy, we're getting close here. 

UConn and Wichita State for a chance to move on and we're keeping the Shockers going, because, hey, they're shocking, aren’t they?

I really like Vegas but there’s a gambling boat, I can go to that's close to my house and Notre Dame has Touchdown Jesus.  Lets take Notre Dame. 

For a chance to move on to the Final Four—I have to ask, why are they the Shockers?  No oneknows?  It kind of looks like a crazy bumblebee with a piece of straw in his mouth. 

Heck, let's keep the Shockers going.

That’s how I imagine someone who has no clue about the college basketball world.  That’s why they always find a way to win the bracket challenge or come pretty close.

It’s why I laugh when I spend five months watching each and every game and think I know what I’m doing but my bracket is a bust by the Sweet 16.

It’s why I’ll go back and look at my bracket 87 more times in the next 24 hours and change my Final Four.

It’s why we love March Madness. 

It’s why I love March Madness. 

And I wouldn't have it any other way….

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