The One Reason Peyton Manning Won't Sign with Each of His Free Agent Suitors

Before you become giddy about your team's chances to land the legendary audible-chirping, gun-slinging, offensive-coordinating quarterback Peyton Manning, let's take a look at why he may not be coming to a town near you. 

Adam Schefter said on SportsCenter this morning that he believes it's quite possible that Manning will have a new team by next week. 

Yikes. 

Let's get to it.

San Francisco 49ers: Jim Harbaugh

We all know Peyton Manning was the defacto offensive coordinator in Indianapolis for nearly the last decade, calling his own play, switching it at the line, then calling a different one. 

While I don't want to call San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh an egomaniac, because I've never met him, he surely seems to be one. 

Offensive coordinator Greg Roman actually calls the plays for the 49ers, but you know Harbaugh has a major influence on what happens when his team has the football.

Would he be willing to give Manning free reign of the offense? Eh, I'm not so sure. He seems pretty dedicated to current signal-caller Alex Smith. 

Washington Redskins: Mike Shanahan

Washington Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan is eerily similar to Harbaugh. 

Yeah, they both have huge egos. 

His son Kyle, the team's offensive coordinator, calls the plays, but Shanahan is heavily involved with the offensive game plan. 

Would he be willing to give Manning the keys to the offense? 

New York Jets: His Brother

No, Eli Manning isn't the Jets quarterback, but if his older brother goes to the Jets, they'd have to share the biggest spotlight in all of sports. 

Peyton joked that he and Eli could commute to work together if they both played in the Big Apple (well, East Rutherford), but does he really want to play in the same city as his brother?

Sure, fans would love it and the media would go bonkers, but that doesn't matter.  

Seattle Seahawks: The Weather

The Seahawks are an up-and-comer in the NFC. To be frank, at this stage of his career, after playing all his home games inside a dome, is Manning ready to head to Seattle, where it can get rainy and quite blustery?

Kansas City Chiefs: The Weather

Although there doesn't seem to be much interest from the Chiefs, they'd actually be a decent fit for Manning. 

However, like Seattle, is he willing to put up with cooler temperatures and a home stadium without a roof?

Arizona Cardinals: Contender?

That man is the one of the most enticing pieces that could certainly draw Manning to the desert, but if he goes there, do the Cardinals have a legitimate chance to win in the playoffs? 

Let's see, the San Francisco 49ers are in their division. The New York Giants just won the Super Bowl. The New Orleans Saints and Green Bay Packers are a top the division. The Detroit Lions and Atlanta Falcons are lurking. 

The possibility seems unlikely. 

Denver Broncos: John Fox

With Peyton Manning under center, one would have to believe that head coach John Fox would finally break free from his conservative, run-heavy ball-control offense. 

Or would he? 

Do the Broncos have the receivers in place to become a pass-happy club? 

Just a thought. 

Houston Texans: Matt Schaub

Matt. Schaub. 

The Texans, they love him. 

Miami Dolphins: Brady's Division

There aren't many reasons why Peyton shouldn't go to Miami. 

Here's the only one I could conjure up in my head. 

This is Manning's chance to get the heck out of the AFC, away from Tom Brady and those pesky New England Patriots. 

Would he really like facing No. 12 twice each season?