WWE: 15 Reasons Why We Hate John Cena

Micah Chen@thechensterAnalyst IIIJanuary 13, 2012

WWE: 15 Reasons Why We Hate John Cena

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    If you're a member of the IWC, an unwritten rule is that you have to hate John Cena.

    Oh sure, you can respect the guy, respect the fact that day in and day out, he gives everything he has for the "WWE Universe." Respect the fact that he does so much for the community. Respect the fact that overall, he's a good person.

    But when he's on screen and in "hustle, loyalty, respect" mode, you can forget about it. We hate everything about the in-ring Cena.

    Some of us even hate the kids and women that cheer for Cena. He is the Yankees, the Justin Bieber and the Patriots of the WWE.

    Everybody loves to hate him. Here are 15 good reasons why:


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    We hate Cena's merchandise in general, but it's the t-shirts that really get to people.

    They're so corny! "Never give up," "hustly, loyalty, respect,"  "rise above hate." 

    These statements are what Cena stands for, but they are just so cheesy.

    Every six months or so, he'll come out with a new t-shirt in a different color with another bland stereotypical slogan. This is where the Fruity Pebble nickname began (The Rock, of course).

    It's a small pet peeve, but it's enough to make us cringe every time we see him.


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    It used to be the WWE would have two or three mega-stars that led an era.  Eg. The Rock and Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.

    That is no more. The WWE has decided to invest their entire future in one man, John Cena.

    Collector's cups, promos, merchandise, main events, outside appearances, he's even at the end of the freaking signature at the start of the show! And not the Raw intro (although he does end that as well), I'm talking the intro for every televised event.

    It's gotten to a point where he has literally become bigger than the WWE. The WWE is almost too afraid to put anybody else in public events, except for maybe The Miz and Randy Orton occasionally.

    We know he's popular; just quit shoving him down our throats.

He Thinks He Can Rap

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    OK, Cena is a pretty good freestyle rapper. I'll give him that much, and that gangster gimmick was pretty good as well.

    But as far as making a whole rap album? No, it's not going to work.

    While some of the tracks were decent, eg. his own entrance theme, this album was pretty hopeless from the start despite the fact that WWE promoted the heck out of it.

    I'm the top superstar in the WWE, I'm in a ton of crappy movies, hey, let's try making a rap album!

    Sorry Cena, but contrary to what the millions of little kids think, you can't do everything.

His Theme Song

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    When Cena transitioned from the thuganomics gimmick to the superman gimmick, he need a new theme as well.

    And from the day he decided to change his theme, the crowd changed their view on him as well.

    It's not so much that we hate the song itself, because in all honesty, it's not that bad; it's the fact that we hate the person that's about to come out.

    As soon as you hear that saxaphone, you immediately start groaning.

'Attitude Adjustment'

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    It could've passed off as decent when it was called the FU, but ever since he changed the name to attitude adjustment, it's just been a silly move.

    All it really is is laying your opponent on the mat from your shoulders, a glorified body slam.  It doesn't even look like it hurts.

    The way he does it just makes it look sooo much more intense than it actually is.  Sometimes when he's "adjusting" somebody's attitude, like Ziggler, it doesn't even look like he's trying. He's just throwing him down like a rag doll.

    By far, one of the least convincing finishers in WWE history.


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    What I hate about this move (besides the fact that it's painfully stupid to watch) is that he doesn't even attempt to sell it.

    The camera men don't even try to disguise its fake.  John Cena slaps his hand on the ground hard, and the cameraman is right there for the world to see it.

    Then, the superstar jumps up like he just got whacked with a hammer.

    Just the fact that it's a hand hitting your face just makes this move so stupid.

He Doesn't Know How to Sell

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    Part of the theatrics of pro wrestling is the ability to "sell" a move. In other words, make a move look really when really it isn't.

    Sorry John, but closing your eyes and breathing really hard isn't exactly "selling." More like you just look stupid in the middle of the ring.

    He acts like it's impossible to truly hurt him. Then out of nowhere, he makes a miraculous comeback, and the match is over just like that.

    Makes me shake my head every time.

5 Moves of Doom

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    Several superstars have been given this label, but perhaps none as much as John Cena.

    Every match, it's the same crap, Cena starts quick, then the momentum reverses and the heel slowly starts beating Cena to a pulp. Then out of nowhere, Cena goes for the reverse suplex, then the "five moves of doom." Boom, match over.

    I appreciate a good wrestler as much as the next guy, and I know Cena is a good wrestler. If you don't believe me, just watch his debut match and his older stuff in OVW, but the way the WWE books him just makes him look like superman in the ring. Which I guess is the look the WWE wants to give him.

This Video

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    Skip to the three-minute mark. I'm almost embarassed for him.

Same Old Promo

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    "Every time I come out to this ring, half you guys boo me, half you guys cheer me, but that's OK. I actually embrace that; you see, this is what makes the WWE great. You guys paid hard-earned money to come out here and you have the right to speak your mind!  If you hate me, great; if you don't, even better, but the raw emotion that the WWE universe is what makes this company so great.

    "To my haters, I'm not worried about you. What I am worried about is the people that every night cheer for me; that is what drives me! That is why I do what I do!"

    Have you caught on yet? Every week, it's the same speech. 

    He's trying so hard to be emotional about it, but you can't help but just laugh at him. All his promos are about hustle, loyalty, respect, doing the right thing, etc., and quite frankly, it's boring.

Refuse to Lose

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    Sometimes, I almost feel like I'm wasting my time watching a John Cena match.

    Did anybody really expect John Cena to say "I quit" against The Miz at Over the Limit cleanly? Did anyone really expect Dolph Ziggler to win against Cena in a clean finish match? 

    It almost feels like I'm wasting my time because it's either going to end in controversy or Cena's going to win, both usually very dull. Couple that with the fact that Cena's ring work is very limited, and I wonder why I even bother.

He Looks Down on Everybody

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    John Cena looks down on everybody in the company.

    He looks down on CM Punk, Randy Orton, Alberto Del Rio, The Miz, every WWE superstar basically. He looks down on the WWE Universe; he looks down on John Laurinatis and the WWE creative team. Hell, he even looks down on Vince McMahon!

    Cena runs the company basically. Cena gets what Cena wants, which isn't much usually, just about 20 championship matches a year.

    He has as much, if not more, backstage power as Triple H does. While he doesn't show it, he knows that he is the most vaulable asset the company has, and he isn't afraid to show it, eg. the Summer of CM Punk storyline where he got Punk reinstated.

    Sure, this was just on-screen, but the fact that he made McMahon look like a helpless old man really shows how much political power he has.

Tonights Main Event! John Cena Vs.....

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    There was a stat floating around that since 2005 or 2006, he's main evented 60-something PPV's. 

    That seems almost unrealistic. There have been about 70-80 PPV's since 2005; that's ridiculous and really unecessary to feature somebody that much.

    While it is true that John Cena vs anybody sounds like a decent main event, there is something called going to the well too much, and the WWE has gone to the well about 30 too many times...

Superman Gimmick

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    Cena is basically the modern-day Hulk Hogan; he just took the hand from his ear and stuck it in front of his face brother. Yes, I did quote that from Cena himself.

    This basically ties the other slides together. Everything he does makes him look like Superman, which I guess is the way the WWE wants him portrayed.

    He sells as Superman, He made the WWE 106 million dollars in 2010 alone!

    If there's one reason to hate John Cena, it's his gimmick, which is one of the most repetitive gimmicks of all time.

Rise Above Hate

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    Embrace the hate.

    That's what John Cena does, and he thinks he's so clever for doing it. No matter what he's doing, he always tries and embraces the hate.

    He thinks this makes us hate him even more, but we don't hate him for embracing the haters. We hate him because he's such a tool about it.

    He thinks that he's winning the war over the haters because he talks all big.

    Anybody with common sense can look right through Cena and realize that without the kids and women, Cena is nothing. He wouldn't have that cockiness and persona that he has because of his legions of adoring fans.

    Cena thinks we boo him because we hate the way he carries himself. That is true, except we don't hate it; we find it annoying and boring.

    There is a difference.

    When you hate a heel, the casual WWE fan will hate him because of the way he sneak attacks or steals wins in a cheating fashion. 

    Hating a heel doesn't mean you don't want to see him; you still do. Like The Miz and Alberto Del Rio, the casual fan still wants to see him.

    Cena, on the other hand, is somebody that the hardcore fan doesn't like to see on TV.  Somebody that they are sick of seeing.

    We don't hate him because he's so good at playing the crowd, we boo him because we're sick of him being shoved down our throats.