NFL Power Rankings Week 9: What Would Each Team Be as a Halloween Costume?

It is time for the weekly NFL power rankings for Week 9. This time, however, since it is Halloween, each team will be compared to a Halloween costume.

The NFL power rankings are based on record and how each team is doing offensively and defensively and Week 9 is no different. The Halloween costume that each NFL team possesses is based on personality of the team in 2011 and their performance over the past couple of weeks.

32. Indinapolis Colts, Train Wreck

Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong for the Indianapolis Colts. They fell to 0-8 after a 27-10 loss to the Tennessee Titans on Oct. 30. There was even a blocked punt that the Titans took back for a touchdown in this game.

A train wreck is a perfect costume for the Colts because it has not been pretty to watch the Colts lose every week if you are a fan of the team. Hopefully Peyton Manning returns sooner rather than later.

31. Miami Dolphins, Sushi

The Miami Dolphins are just flopping around this year and are not cooked just yet. They had had double-digit leads in their last two games and have lost both of them. They are now 0-7 and have the second worst record in the NFL

The Dolphins are sushi because they aren't done just yet, but are very close to being cooked for the season.

30. St. Louis Rams, Jack-in-the-Box

The St. Louis Rams surprised many people this week with their 32-21 victory over the New Orleans Saints. They are now 1-6 on the season, but still have no chance of making the playoffs.

They would be dressed as a jack-in-the-box only because if they are wound enough they can pop up and surprise even a team such as the Saints.

29. Arizona Cardinals, Phoenix

The Arizona Cardinals lost their sixth straight game and are now 1-6 on the season. They had a 20-plus point lead on the Baltimore Ravens and then faded away.

The Cardinals are a phoenix because they are burned to ash right now and now have a chance to rise from the ashes and become a better team when the 2011-12 season is over.

28. Carolina Panthers, Dead Weight Around Cam Newton's Ankle

The Panthers are one of those teams that just is all about their quarterback. Cam Newton is a superstar so far in the 2011 season, but it seems as if the entire team is just being dragged along by Newton's abilities.

After a heartbreaking 24-21 loss to the Vikings, the Panthers are 2-6, but their record should be better than that as most of their losses have been close games.

27. Jacksonville Jaguars, the Flash

The Jaguars are 2-6 on the season after a 24-14 loss to the Houston Texans and this is mainly because they do not have a proficient quarterback. They are dead last in passing yards and Blaine Gabbert is to blame.

The Jaguars would be the Flash because they rely solely on the run with Maurice Jones-Drew as the only reliable weapon on the offensive end.

26. Minnesota Vikings, Burnt Gingerbread Man

The Vikings are one of those teams that can hurt you down the stretch, especially with Christian Ponder at the reins of their offense. They were able to win 24-21 against the Panthers and almost beat the Packers the week before.

The Vikings are a burnt gingerbread man only because they are about to crumble, but Ponder has basically kept them together like the fire does to a burnt gingerbread man.

25. Denver Broncos, Trojan Horse

Tim Tebow is not wanted by the owners of the Denver Broncos as they fell to 2-5 on the season and are 1-1 with Tebow at the quarterback position. Their defense was their downfall against the Detroit Lions as they lost 45-10.

They are a Trojan horse because they look real, but when you take a closer look, you can tell they can't be a real team with the quarterback running around the way he does and their defense is not being even close to good.

24. Seattle Seahawks, Titanic

The Seahawks are on the verge of hitting an iceberg, and they will sink soon.

They are 2-5 and lost their last two games.

23. Cleveland Browns, Multiple Personalities

The Browns seem to have no sense of their identity as they are 3-4. They are always either between winning or losing and that will hurt their chances of making the playoffs.

22. Washinton Redskins, Ticking Time Bomb

The Redskins now have John Beck has their starting quarterback, and Tim Hightower is done for the season. It is only a matter of time until they explode and their team is last in the NFC East.

21. Dallas Cowboys, Darth Vader

The Cowboys have made many mistakes late, and that is exactly how Darth Vader became evil and eventually how he lost his life, with too many mistakes made late.

20. Kansas City Chiefs, Slingshot

The Chiefs have surprisingly won three straight games and are now trying to win a fourth straight on Halloween against the Chargers. If they win, then they can once again be talked about as a team with a chance to make the playoffs.

If they lose, however, you can expect to see them fire their coach.

19. Philadelphia Eagles, Zombie

The Eagles have come back from the dead and are now on top of the world with a huge win over the Cowboys. They are 3-4, but have won two straight games.

18. Tennessee Titans, Man in Wheelchair

The Titans have no running game and a man in a wheelchair is the perfect costume for them.

Chris Johnson needs to run better for the Titans to improve and maybe even win the AFC South.

17. Oakland Raiders, Batman

The Raiders have all the cool gadgets like Batman does, but it has not worked out in their favor yet.

The Raiders are a mediocre 4-3, and they lost 28-0 to the lowly Chiefs before their bye week in Week 8.

16. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, War Victim

The Bucs are a great team when healthy, but right now it seems as if all their injuries are beginning to pile up. They are the war victims and everyone else is beginning to pick up that they are weak.

Josh Freeman has not been the same quarterback he was in 2010, and it is up to him to lead the Bucs back into the playoffs.

15. Chicago Bears, Forrest Gump

The Bears have recently won two straight games and their defense has started to improve greatly and they are 4-3.

Run, Forte, run! That is exactly what the Bears can do when they win: rely on Matt Forte to drive the ball down their opponent's throats.

14. Atlanta Falcons, Underdog

The Falcons are underrated and are still 4-3 on the year with a great 23-16 win over the Lions before their bye week. They face the Colts this week and won't be the underdog in the NFC much longer.

13. NY Jets, Yo-Yo

The Jets have been up and down all season has they started off 2-0, lost three straight and have won their last two games. They are 4-3 and are a game behind the Patriots and Bills in the AFC East.

12. Houston Texans, Rabbit

The Texans have won two straight games and are 5-2 on the season in probably the easiest division with the Titans being the only competition this year.

The Texans have been able to hop all over their division opponents as they are 3-0 against the AFC South.

11. San Diego Chargers, Amputee

The Chargers seem as if there is always something ailing with them. Ryan Mathews is dealing with injuries. Mike Tolbert is dealing with multiple injuries. Philip Rivers is not playing up to his potential. There is always a limb of the offensive line that seems to be falling off.

They are 4-2 and are facing the Chiefs on Halloween, so if they win with the rash of injuries, that could improve their costume and ranking.

10. New Orleans Saints, Santa Claus

The Saints are one of the big teams, but are only 5-3 on the year. When Drew Brees plays to the best of his ability, then the Saints do well. However, when he is bad, the Saints will falter.

The Saints would be Santa Claus because they deliver wins only when they feel like it and are starting to let their weight go. This weight is their ego and their sense of entitlement, as they recently lost 31-21 to the winless Rams on Sunday.

9. Baltimore Ravens, House of Cards

The Ravens are one of those teams that needs everything right for a win, and they had everything going for them in their 30-27 win over the Cardinals in Week 8. They are an impressive 5-2.

Just like a house of cards, one blow can knock the Ravens over. They are the third best defensive team, but their offensive needs to start clicking if they want to make it to the Super Bowl. 

8. NY Giants, Doctor

The Giants seem to be able to fix their problems during the course of a game and are now leading the NFC East with a 5-2 record.

Eli Manning leads the way with comebacks galore the past two weeks against Buffalo and now the Dolphins.

7. Buffalo Bills, Green Giant

Ryan Fitzpatrick reminds me of the Green Giant, and he is leading the Bills to an historic season and maybe even an AFC East crown.

The Bills are 5-2 and are tied with the Patriots in the AFC East.

6. Cincinnati Bengals, Police Officer

The Bengals are one of the best defensive teams in the NFL and "enforce the law" whenever they need to defensively.

The Bengals are 6-2 and are surprisingly a good team despite having a mediocre offensive attack.

5. Detroit Lions, Megatron

The Lions would be mediocre even it was not for Calvin Johnson a.k.a. Megatron. They are 6-2 and are one of the best offensive/defensive teams in the NFL.

Johnson has 11 reception touchdowns in the eight games and is a top 10 WR in the game. He is one of main reasons the Lions are so good offensively.

4. New England Patriots, Superman

The New England Patriots have one weakness, just like Superman has only one weakness. Superman's weakness is kryptonite and the Patriots weakness is their defense, especially their secondary.

The Steelers' offense did what they wanted against the Patriots' defense, but something needs to happen soon if the Patriots want to regain their superpowers.

3. San Francisco 49ers, Pair of Dice

The San Francisco 49ers have won five straight, and their only loss came back in Week 2 against the Dallas Cowboys with the 27-24 OT loss.

The 49ers are a huge gamble going forward, and if you want to take a chance and roll with them, then go right ahead. I do not see them being this good for their final nine games.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers, "Big Ben"

The Steelers are 6-2 now and defeated the Patriots 25-17 in a great game on Oct. 30. Ben Roethlisberger had another huge game with 365 yards and two touchdowns.

Roethlisberger's nickname is "Big Ben" and the Steelers would be nothing if he was not the starting quarterback. That is why they would be dressed like the tower with the giant clock in London.

1. Green Bay Packers, Charlie Sheen

Winning, duhhhh? The Packers are 7-0 and are the only team without a loss in the 2011 season. They are in line to have the best record in the NFL.

The only reason they are Charlie Sheen is because they keep on winning just like Sheen does.