Browns Hit a Low Note in Music City Malaise

Browns Backers,  

atrocity - "  the quality or state of being atrocious. " 

With 2009 three weeks away, the Cleveland Browns are playing more like it's 1999. After the latest 28-9 loss to Tennessee, Cleveland will most definitely remember these Titans. 

It wasn't like this wasn't expected, especially after both former starting QB's Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn go down with injuries playing on the road against a team that is now 12-1, like me you probably would have found some sort of distraction on Sunday to take you mind of the inevitable onslaught like running errands, getting ready for your fantasy football playoffs or even going X-Mas shopping. 

If you're a Dawg for Life like me you would be a happy loyal glutton begging for punishment.  I decided to brave the harsh Pittsburgh cold and trek crosstown to watch the hapless Browns and their latest "masterpiece" like a loyal deer caught in the headlights of a speeding 18-wheeler and considering that the Browns were not too far from Knoxville, it quickly turned into the Rocky Horror Football Show. 

Watching this game, let alone this WHOLE season takes an immense amount of dedication to go along with a stomach coated in titanium, it might also help to pop a couple of Tums like they are PEZ Candy because this game was uninteresting, dull and quite frankly very boring to watch, did I forget to mention painful. 

I watched this latest atrocity of a NFL football game with 12 of my fellow suffering brothers at Peter's Pub and there was a brief sense of hope which quickly got squashed once Tennessee starting scoring, one fellow Backer took a nap AT the bar, and another left at halftime to wrap X-Mas presents.

I can't blame either one at all considering that watching the Browns tends to induce both nausea and drowsiness, and I guess that sleepiness made its way down to the sidelines, paraphrasing CBS commentor Dan Fouts on Crennel's gutlessness to challenge a 50-yard Cribbs pass to Edward Scissorhands, whom actually CAUGHT something, it would have been the longest play of the game, Lerner if you are reading this, PLEASE FIRE THIS IDIOT!    

The Browns really hit a new low in offensive futility when you consider that the Titan's RB tandem of Lendale White and rookie Chris Johnson had more rushing yards (235 yards) than the ENTIRE Browns team did (178 yards). Even more embarrassing is that Joshua Cribbs had more rushing yards (24) than Jamal Lewis (seven).

You have to wonder how did Ken Dorsey ever win a BCS national title at Miami because after seeing him throw on Sunday it really makes ME actually like Brady Quinn even MORE, considering my main harp on Quinn has always been his arm strength. Sadly, a wet cardboard box has more strength than Dorsey! 

And once again the defense actually came to play by picking off Kerry Collins twice and recovering a fumble, they all but gift-wrapped potential points for K Phil Dawson, considering that the offense decided to stay AWOL. 

Considering that the Browns are the NFL poster child of a dysfunctional train wreck you have to wonder if Britney Spears was thinking of Cleveland when she named her new CD, Circus after them considering that the team has played more like clowns. 

At 4-9 the only thing that the Browns can hope for now is to beat Cincinnati and MAYBE spoil Pittsburgh's season, and after watching that attempt at playing football, since the Browns were in Nashville, the CMA's should stand for Crennel Must Abort!  

Singing the Music City Blues,
Dawgfather