Daily Radar: Hottest Stories for Monday, October 10
Aaron Rodgers is not human, Tim Tebow is overrated and the Oakland Raiders will never be the same. As for Tiger Woods, he is still ducking from hot dogs at the moment.
Welcome to the Daily Radar. A place that answers the question, what the hell should I care about today?
You want a story higher on the rankings? Well, leave a comment. All you have to do is ask me.
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Let's Dish.
1. TIM TEBOW BECOMES EVEN MORE OVERRATED
The world stopped spinning long enough for Tim Tebow to grace us with his presence. His above average stint at quarterback Sunday has everyone buzzing that the Tim Tebow era has begun. Can we get this guy a full game under center before he gets an era named after him?
Question on Everybody’s Mind: Is Tim Tebow the Broncos' starting QB now?
Our Take: Yes, John Fox doesn’t want to be abducted by Broncos fans in the night, only to wake up in Guadalajara. After the bye week, Tebow will most likely be the man.
Hype Meter: 5-out-of-5 Chastity Promises
Tim Tebow fans are the most faithful, blind and outspoken mob in sports. They now have two weeks to make the two quarters Tebow played seem like “The Drive.”
Related Link: ESPN Reports on Tebow Time in Denver
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2. MICHAEL VICK RINGS IN A PATHETIC ERA OF EAGLES FOOTBALL
I have decided that the Eagles are indeed a Dream Team. Except it’s that dream where you are called up to give a speech in front of all your friends and family, only you're naked and your body now looks like a combination of Andy Reid's and Rex Ryan's. Yes, a nightmare.
Question on Everybody’s Mind: Who’s to blame?
Our Take: Good news. This team is so awful that there is plenty of blame to go around. Andy Reid may want to put down the cupcakes and create some accountability on this team.
Hype Meter: 5-out-of-5 Cupcakes that Are Now Missing
There are only two things that people in Philadelphia love: sports and overreacting to sports. The fans will demand that someone pay for the trash that takes the field every week.
The "I Thought He Looked Familiar" Tweet Award:
Related Link: Yahoo Sports Covers the Nightmare Team
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3. OAKLAND RAIDERS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
One of the most polarizing owners in all of sports passed this weekend, leaving the Raiders to mourn, and then to win.
Question on Eeverybody's Mind: Will the Raiders ever be the same?
Our Take: No
Hype Meter: 4-out-of-5 Just Win Baby
Hate him or love him, Al Davis adored his Oakland Raiders. You can't fault a man that lived with such passion. While his legacy will be questioned for years, there is no denying that the Raiders will never be the same without him.
Related Link: The New York Times reports on the Passing of a Legend
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4. PREGNANT LADY MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE LAZY...ALL OF YOU
Amber Miller ran a marathon. That sentence alone took every last ounce of energy out of me, but that's not all. She ran the damn thing pregnant, then gave birth after. Meanwhile, I am deciding whether to have a burger or chicken strips for dinner.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Did the baby come out and immediately begin running with her superhero mother?
Our Take: Sadly, no. While that seems to be the logical next step in this story, Miller gave birth after clearing the finish line in 6 hours and 25 minutes.
Hype Meter: 3-out-5 Contractions and Runner's Highs
Nobody likes a go getter. The funniest part is the ESPN report on the marathon as it states, "She finished in 6 hours and 25 minutes, much slower than her previous seven marathons." Who the hell does ESPN think they are? "Much Slower?" How about far quicker than any other pregnant woman has ever run?
Related Link: ESPN is Only Slightly Impressed
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5. GREAT DAY FOR CATCHES
If you get percolated by dazzling displays of athleticism, you are in luck. There were two catches on Sunday that belonged in the circus.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Can we see these fortunate grabs?
Our Take: Who loves you?
Hype Meter: 3-out-of-5 Clown Cars
These will be passed around by email, Facebook and Twitter all day. Now you can be that guy that shows how cool he is by stating, "yeah, I've already seen that, bro."
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6. TIGER WOODS DODGES HOT DOGS
Tiger Woods had a hot dog thrown at him by a rowdy fan on Sunday. Now he can add elusive hot dog dodger to his extensive athletic resume.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Has Tiger Woods hit rock bottom yet?
Our Take: Not even sniffing the leaderboard at a third-rate tournament should have been enough to make fun of Tiger. Having fans chuck food at him is an all-new low. I actually feel sorry for the hot dog, which did nothing to anybody, aside from being absolutely delicious...and throwable.
Hype Meter: 3-out-of-5 Slices, Shanks and Hazards
Tiger Woods is like the later seasons of The Wonder Years where Kevin Arnold is older, awkward and altogether tough to look at. I hope Woods gets cancelled soon.
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7. KIM KARDASHIAN WASTES THE TIME OF MILLIONS
E!, the network that has ripped vital brain cells from perfectly intelligent viewers, is back at it again. The Kim Kardashian wedding to some guy who plays for the Nets was televised Sunday.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Like OMG. How was it? What did her gown look like? Like, was it a fairytale?
Our Take: I am far more interested in the present a stray cat left me in my yard this weekend. The mystery of why this feline chose my yard far exceeds any amount of passion I could put into Kim, her family or their presentation of what they call romance.
Hype Meter: 2-out-of-5 Oh, so that's Kris Humphries.
There are those of you that actually had wedding viewing parties. This is the equivalent to groups of friends gathering to sniff glue. You are losing roughly the same amount of brain cells.
Related Link: Be Part of the Problem and Click on E! Channel Link
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8. JETS LOSE THEIR LUSTER
This team is 2-3, and that is not what worries me. They don't seem to have the same zeal as past iterations. What happened to the foot fetishes, trash talking and swagger? This team is now mediocre, and boring.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Will the Jets turn it around?
Our Take: Do you care? This team allowed the Pats to cruise on offense, and I can only manage a yawn. This is supposed to be a team of flash and bang. Now they are just ho and hum.
Hype Meter: 1-out-of-5
This is not a good year for Super Bowl contenders. All those not named the Patriots and Packers are reeling, making the Jets just one of many underachieving teams. See? We can't even be intrigued by how bad this team is right now. I need a nap.
Award for "I was Thinking the Same Thing: Tweet of the Day:
Related Link: ESPN reports on Jets Loss of Swagger
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9. AARON RODGERS IS GREAT...AGAIN
Kind of like the third season of Perfect Strangers, Aaron Rodgers' excellence is getting a tad formulaic. Yes, I just compared Rodgers' superb and versatile game to the hilarity that ensued between Balki Bartokomous and Larry Appleton for eight seasons, and I stand by it.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Are the 5-0 Packers truly perfect?
Our Take: The Packers aren't, but Rodgers is. This guy is so good that I never once questioned that he would lead a late charge to overwhelm the Falcons. I went so far as to bet the old lady a burrito it would happen. Unfortunately, I forgot that we have a strict no burrito betting policy after last Sunday.
Hype Meter: 1-out-of-5 Been There, Done Thats
Aaron Rodgers was awesome on Sunday night. In other news, water is still wet, the Kardashians are still worthless and I am getting fatter by the day.
Related Link: ESPN Breaks Down Packers Win on Sunday Night
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10. WAIT, THERE'S STILL BASEBALL?
Judging by national media coverage, you are only slightly aware that the baseball postseason is in full swing (I will never pardon that pun). It's a shame because this has been a wild and wacky week in hard ball.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Who you got in the World Series?
Our Take: Being a genius makes this question a breeze. The Tigers are banged up, giving the Rangers the edge. The Brewers are acting like every single hit is a reason to lose their collective minds, so I like them.
Hype Meter: 1-out-5 Tony Plushes
I can't stress how good this postseason has been. Yet all we want to talk about is the quarterback situation in Denver. They could stick Aaron Rodgers on that team and they would still lose. Why can't we ignore them like the lackluster team they are?
Related Link: New York Times Reports on Brew Crew Fans
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Until Tomorrow, practice your Biddi Babbka Diddy.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
