The 10 Biggest Bro Frauds In Sports

On a quick glance, the bro is an easy creature to spot. 

The bro has the looks of a John F. Kennedy coupled with the swagger and bro-vado of Ronald Reagan.

The bro can be seen crushing Bud Light while trolling around the youngest, drunkest girl at the bar.

In theory, one doesn't have to be terribly perceptive to spot the bro. 

At times, though, there's more or less bro than what meets the eye.

Sometimes the broin (sic) doesn't add up like the bro-like exterior that is masked by creatine, the stench of cheap beer and an overabundance hair gel.

Considering the sporting landscape is overflowing with bros for obvious reasons—money, women, testosterone, etc.—there are bound to be a few posers. 

These wannabe bros' shoulders may be broad, but they're frauds. 

Michael Phelps: Sleeptastic

Michael Phelps: You just won eight gold medals. Try and be less boring. 

Right, everyone assumes Phelps gets into all kinds of bronanigans because he got caught smoking marijuana.

He even eats more than a frat boy partaking in the same ritual Phelps got caught doing following his triumphant 2008 Olympics. 

But none of this takes away from the fact that the man delivers the most mundane, boring, yawn-inducing interviews ever. 

In the above clip he manages to utter two of the most tired, lame sports clichés in a matter of seconds: "Records are meant to be broken" and the similarly trivial "if you put your mind to it, you can do anything." 

Phelps could put Maradona or Charlie Sheen to sleep at the peak of one of their well-documented benders. 

David Beckham: Fear the Faux-Hawk

David Beckham may have it all: McScrooge-like amounts of cash, ex-pop star wife, worldwide fame and a decorated trophy case. 

The ex-Manchester United starlet turned arguably the world's most popular athlete in the late 90s and early 2000s may have had everyone fooled, though.

While the fiery English midfielder may posses so many things that bros aspire to obtain, it took Grant Wahl's revealing 2009 book, The Beckham Experiment. It's about his widely criticized move from powerhouse Real Madrid to lowly MLS to shed some light on Becks and some of his very non-bro activities. 

Example: In spite of being one of the world's most wealthy athletes, Beckham allegedly couldn't even pick up a simple dinner tab while some of his lower-paid teammates were living under the poverty line in expensive Los Angeles. 

In the same excerpt, Beckham had "his people" go behind the scenes and plead with management and sponsors to wrestle the captain's armband away from longtime Galaxy stalwart and American superstar Landon Donovan.

Bros aren't cheap (even if they should be cheap) and bros aren't sneaky. A true bro would have simply challenged Donovan to a bench press off for the captain's armband.  

Terrell Owens: Cry for Me, Argentina

Terrell Owens once conducted a quasi press conference while working out in front of his house. Major bro points. 

He's also brash, cocky, a freakish talent and a physical specimen. Clearly, a huge bro. 

Problem being, he also broke down after the Cowboys were were surprisingly eliminated by the New York Giants in the 2007 playoffs. Owens famously uttered, "that's my quarterback" while crying in front of the assembled postgame media. 

The bromissioner has no problem with emotion. Emotion is good. 

The thing is with T.O. is that crying for a teammate goes against everything he did during his oft-checkered career. The man made a career out of taking a dump on every quarterback who helped him boost his prolific statistics. 

Being disingenuous doesn't play around these parts. 

Jack Wilshere: He Said What?!

Jack Wilshere will more than likely end up being a staple in the middle of the English midfield for the next decade. And assuming Arsene Wenger doesn't sell him once he hits his prime, he'll also more than likely be the next captain of the ever-popular London-based Arsenal squad. 

Put those two together and Wilshere is destined to be both a media darling and lavished with all kinds of female adulation. Oh, and he's really, really good, too. 

So what's the quickest way to lose your bro card? 

You tweet about lounging on his couch all day watching the quintessentially un-bro "Gossip Girl" all day. One can only wonder if he ate ice cream straight out of the box, too. 

Tom Brady: Mother's Milk

Forget about the Justin Bieber-like haircut he rocked. 

What exactly are you doing here, Tom? You're in GQ, the freakin' Cosmopolitan in man world. Present yourself as such. 

There's few times in life when a subject should punch a photographer in the face for making them pose. This is one of those times. 

Alex Rodriguez: It Was Only a Kiss

They always say that a picture is worth 1,000 words. 

This gem of the already-self-absorbed Alex Rodriguez smooching himself in the mirror is actually only worth three: Not. Very. Bro. 

Cristiano Ronaldo: I Can Cry If I Want to

Full disclosure: Some bro included Ronaldo in his offering of the biggest bros in sports. 

Said bro would like to take a giant, hissy-fit filled mulligan after witnessing this epic moment in "wah" history.

Ronaldo: you're one of the best players in the world. You're supposed to show no weakness. None. 

It's no secret that Barcelona is pretty good at passing the ball. Hell, their offense "tiki-taka" basically implies a smorgasbord of short passes. 

Yet, you flail around like a 6-year-old who lost his video game-playing privileges when L'equip blaugrana passes circles around you.  

Jay Mariotti: Jay the Rat

Jay Mariotti's meteoric fall from grace has been fairly well-documented. An ugly felony domestic violence charge will do that.

Bros aren't always the most civil of creatures, but they've still gotta have a code. 

But even before his arrest that saw him disappear (thankfully, to most) from the limelight, he displayed a plethora of non-bro like behavior. 

On Around the Horn, Mariotti was the TV tough guy. He'd criticize anyone just for the sake of doing so. 

Behind the scenes, though, at his actual day job—a columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times—he was busy alienating and feuding with co-workers.

One of the more famous run-ins was with Rick Telander, who simply wanted to talk things out like normal human beings do while the two were covering the Windy City Series in the same press box after spending the week trading jabs in their respective columns.

Instead of talking it out, Mariotti scurried off phone-in-hand whining to his editors. A bro would have punched Telander in the face and stole his pulled-pork sandwich.  

But that's OK, his Sun-Times tenure would get even uglier. After abruptly quitting on a dime, he invoked the wrath of his ex-colleagues.

And when you draw the ire of one of the most well-respected journalists of a generation in Roger Ebert, and according to most, one of the most well-liked, too, you're booted out from the bro circle. 

Because a "rat" isn't a bro. 

Ryan Giggs: Bros' You-Know-Whats Before Bro?

Ryan Giggs is a Manchester United legend.

No doubt about that. When you star on arguably the world's most famous and popular club for well over a decade, you're an automatic bad ass. And a bro. 

Even at his advanced age, the 37-year-old Welsh winger showed that he still hasn't lost a thing with a wonder goal against Benfica in a UEFA Champions League match.  

But when you allegedly have an affair with one of your bro's wives, that's an inconsolable violation of bro code.

We're not talking one of your frat bros, either. We're talking about Giggs' literal blood brother. 

No bromo, Giggsy. 

Jose Canseco: OMG, I'm a Bash Brother, TTYL, <3 U, Jose!

By moniker, Jose Canseco has to be a bro.

He's an original, considering Mark McGwire went by the "bash brothers" while they were crushing home runs for the A's in the late 80s. 

He boxes, brawls, is still huge and had no qualms about admitting to his steroid use. 

So what, exactly, then takes the shine off of Canseco's bro polish? 

Oh, social networking, you're one fickle-ass little vixen. 

Canseco's Twitter account is an absolute, bona fide, goldmine for emo tweets.

It's one thing to be hurt over a breakup. It's entirely different to vent to some 400,000+ with tweets akin to what a 6th grader would jot in his diary after being jilted by a would-be lover on the swingset. 

Examples (spelling not corrected): 

"

I am fighting an apponent I can't win against my heart

Roses are red violets are blue I heard your voice and got all depressed to

Stop hateing and start loving

"

Keep fighting the good fight, Jose. But for now, until the tweets stop, we'll save the "Brose" nickname for a later date. 

Sean Swaby does something at Bleacher Report relating to Featured Columnists. More importantly, he's currently No. 9 on the Bleacher Report in-office bro power rankings (but trending upward).