Madcap Wrap: David De Gea Steals Doughnut, Tevez-Gate, Epic Header, Neymar Miss

There have been some strange things happening on planet football this week, but the doughnut-related story surrounding David De Gea this morning surely tops the lot.

The Manchester United goalkeeper stars in a one-off "Madcap Wrap" today, along with a sulking Carlos Tevez and the Norwegian whose ridiculous header could earn him a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Depending on how this story goes it could become a weekly feature. Let me know if you think there's mileage in it...

Doughnuts on me!

Jone Samuelsen's Ridiculous Header

Jone Samuelsen achieved global fame with this goal, scored for Odd Grenland against Tromso IL in the Norwegian league on Sunday.

The midfielder's header was measured at 57 meters, and according to reports could be the longest on record.

Carlos Tevez Refuses to Play

Carlos Tevez has surely kicked his last ball in anger for Manchester City.

The Argentine striker apparently refused to come off the bench for City against Bayern Munich on Wednesday night, prompting manager Roberto Mancini to publicly call time on his career with his club.

Tevez released a statement in his defense, but has been suspended for two weeks by City and looks very unlikely to return in their colors.

Here's the latest on the story.

David De Gea Steals a Doughnut

According to reports this morning, Manchester United goalkeeper David De Gea waltzed into a Tesco's superstore in Altrincham yesterday and helped himself to a £1.19 Krispy Kreme doughnut without paying.

Here's what a "source" told The Sun newspaper:

"

"They weren't very subtle. They swaggered in chatting loudly in Spanish.

"The security guards who monitor the CCTV watched two of them take a doughnut each out of the Krispy Kreme cabinet.

"Incredibly, they then appeared to try to leave without paying—or buying anything else for that matter."

"

De Gea was apparently taken to a stop and search area, but the police were not called and he was allowed to leave.

Rio Ferdinand Ordered to Pay £500,000 Legal Costs

Manchester United and England defender Rio Ferdinand has been slapped with legal bills amounting to almost £500,000, according to a report in The Sun.

It seems Ferdinand lost a privacy case relating to an alleged "13-year affair" with an interior designer named Carly Storey.

Neymar Misses Open Goal

He's been billed as the next Pele/Ronaldinho/Ronaldo, but teenage sensation Neymar had a rather embarrassing miss playing for Brazil against Argentina this week.