College Football: Week 1 Wrap Up for so Very Clever Guy's Girls in Training

Ok, Clever Girls, you’ve heard the word “upset.”  Hell, you’ve probably been upset as recently as an hour ago.  Be honest, someone has pissed you off by reminding you that today is Tuesday and not MONDAY and you are already a day behind this week.

So, let me lighten your load and give you some Clever diversions for when the men in your life start grating on you. 

When I said “upset” I was referring to the all-star upset when Baylor gave TCU (Texas Christian University) a run to the goal line and WON.  Talk about a dichotomy.  The worst possible beginning to a season for TCU—the much vaunted powerhouse of the Mountain West Conference and the best possible beginning for the Bears of Baylor. 

The game was in Waco, where fans are still allowed to rush the field and it was a Hootie Haw for sure.  Fantasm in Waco. 

NO surprise Oklahoma turned up a big win over Tulsa, hanging nearly half-a-hundred on them, similar to the Alabama-over-Kent-State slaughter. 

LSU (Louisiana State University) spanking Oregon was no doubt wind out of one sail and into another.  Which reminds me—Joey Harrington, the former Duck, has got to learn how to choke up on the mic if he is going to continue to commentate.  I was absolutely distracted by the perilous situation through the University of Texas game. 

Auburn didn’t enter the season with the same swagger as last year and narrowly escaped being handed an “L” (loss) by Utah State.  I’m wondering if all of college football isn’t marveling at the loophole in the NCAA that allowed Cam Newton to sail into the NFL (Carolina Panthers) virtually UNTOUCHED by the controversy of which he was the center. 

IF you will recall, Cam Newton’s father, Cecil, allegedly “shopped” his son (offered him to schools for a price).  I say allegedly because I’m not entirely sure this little scheme was cooked up solely by his father unbeknownst to him.  OK, scratch that.  I am entirely certain Cam Newton was not only aware but junior engineer of that plan.

It’s been a long time since fans had to hope Texas would beat Rice and frankly, if Rice was ever going to pull off a “V” (victory), it might well have been this year.  Lucky for those of us who don’t believe the tower at University of Texas looks like a Rice Owl—it didn’t happen. 

University of Texas is very Cleverly letting fans and the nation know they are aware the team is rebuilding.  The commercials showing bricks being laid is a clear message so let’s see how good a mason Mack Brown (head coach) is and whether he’s assembled the right architects to get the job done.

I, for one, am overjoyed to see Jaxon Shipley (brother of Jordan Shipley—former wide receiver for University of Texas and current wide receiver for Cincinnati Bengals) and Case McCoy (brother of Colt McCoy—former quarterback for University of Texas and current quarterback for the Cleveland Browns) stepping into the arena to lead the charge.  My enthusiasm for G2 (Garrett Gilbert—starting quarterback) has waned and I’m ready for Case to show us what lies in his DNA.

OK guys, I know you are thinking, OLD NEWS, right? 

Well, the reason I do this Monday wrap up is to start conditioning women to talk to men using the right terminology and sexier lingo.  Isn’t it a beating when a woman says, “Was the game fun?”  What does that even mean?  “Well, since I didn’t play IN the game, I guess you mean did I enjoy watching it.”  I’m just trying to help. 

The more So Very Clever Guy’s Girls there are, the less women there will be to complain every time you let her know you are going to watch the game with the guys.