Top 5 Clever Topics for So Very Clever Girls Heading into Week 1

OK, So Very Clever Girls, it’s that time again—officially college football time. Thank goodness. I was wilting on the vine. I want to let you know my first e-book will be available imminently. It covers the big four sports—hockey, football, basketball and baseball.

Granted, I’m flying at 30,000 feet and just giving you the basics, but “The So Very Clever Girl’s Guide to Sports” will be a quick follow-up to “The So Very Clever Girl’s Guide to Being a Guy’s Girl.”

Here we go. Grab your ass if you are not a football fan, because you need to get out your calendar and make some decisions as to how you are going to spend the evenings of Saturday, Sunday and Monday each week for the next four months.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: If you are a fan of your man but not of football, play hostess. Feed these boys and show them you support their favorite pastime. There are tons of tailgate and game-watching party recipes under “So Very Clever in the Kitchen.”

If you simply cannot tolerate watching parties or hanging out in bars watching sports for days on end, find something else to do and DO NOT COMPLAIN. You knew he loved football when you met him. Asking him to alter his plans will only serve to produce resentment.

Texas A&M Remains. No SEC for a While

College football is fundamentally about rivalries. It’s not what you might think.  While the Michigan vs. Michigan State game is a huge grudge match every year, and Dallas is filled to capacity for the Red River Shootout between Oklahoma University and the University of Texas, but there are other rivalries. MONEY. Television contracts.

For this reason, it’s important you note Texas A&M has been longing to move from the Big 12 to the SEC, but it’s not going to happen yet. Oh, and news flash, A&M, who doesn’t want to be in the SEC?

Jim Tressel, Cam Newton, USC: What Scandals Does the Year Hold?

College football is coming under fire as a hotbed for scandal. Last year was HUGE! Cam Newton and the crazy loophole that kept him eligible though his father shopped him around, Reggie Bush being denounced, USC’s problems. But, this is what you might not know. In the offseason, the mighty Jim Tressel left The Ohio State University under an oppressive cloud of impropriety. This will affect the formidable Ohio State for years to come.

Was the risk worth the reward? No one but Jim Tressel knows the answer to that. Luke Frickell might be the only thing the doctor could have ordered for this sickened team. He’s a company man, so to speak, having played his whole collegiate career for OSU, and after a far-too-brief tour of duty in the NFL with the New Orleans Saints returned to OSU after an injury. He served as co-defensive coordinator and linebackers coach for his alma mater before stepping to the helm as the 23rd head coach of the Buckeyes.

What Allure Does the SEC Hold?

A few stats to support the lure of the SEC. So Very Clever Guy’s Girls should know the SEC (Southeastern Conference) has won the last five BCS (Bowl Championship Series, which is intended to determine the NCAA national champion) titles and produced three of the last four Heisman Trophy winners. The Heisman is the award given to the top college football player in the country.

Welcome to the 12 Pack, Nebraska

The Big Ten has a new member, Nebraska. I know what you are thinking: The Big Ten now has 12 teams? It’s a bit unnerving. If the conference elects to change the name, which they didn’t when Penn State joined, I think the name should be 12 Pack. Cool, right?

Good Bye Rich Rod, Hello Brady Hoke: Please Restore Our Dignity

We have to talk about the University of Michigan. After getting rid of the dreaded Rich Rod (former coach Richard Rodriguez) and hiring Brady Hoke, are we back on track to prove up why we are the winningest football program in the country? I can’t answer that, but I’ll go with a “yes.”

I’m eternally faithful to my team, until they bomb after game five, and then I generally switch to my alma mater (Michigan State) unless they also suck, at which point I cling to the University of Texas. Come on, guys, make me proud this year!

Last year was a bath, like ice and a toaster poised above me. I’m hoping the problems D-Rob (Denard Robinson) encountered last year, having a collapsing pocket and no help whatsoever from his offensive line, was the first thing Hoke addressed. Denard can MOVE, but he needs some freaking help.