5 Signs You Care More About Fantasy Football Than the Real Thing

The labor strife forced all of us to contemplate a world where NFL football doesn’t exist, a dark and horrible place where Sundays are filled with household chores and early starts on projects for the work week.

A twisted universe where we’re forced to watch English Premier League soccer matches and WAC football tilts to try and fill the gaping void left in our competitive souls.

Country singers tell me you don’t know how much you loved something till it’s gone, and right about the time I started getting deep into the logistics of a Pac-12 fantasy league I had to address the notion that I might love fantasy football more than the real thing.

Given the metaphorical superhero dilemma, where my real team and my fantasy team are dangling above shark infested waters and I can only use my powers to save one, who would I choose?

Fortunately, the labor crisis was averted and both real and fantasy football have made a triumphant return to our lives, but it has left me pondering my position as a fan.

To get to the bottom of this debate I came up with five questions to help anyone answer once and for all whether you are more a real or fantasy football fan.  I’ve also included my personal responses at the bottom to show I’m serious about this assessment. 

Do You Own Your Fantasy Player's Jersey?

If you’re a Raiders fan and you wake up Sunday morning, with the excitement about the day’s action flowing in your veins, what do you wear to express your allegiance?

Do you burrow through the dirty laundry for your Jim Brown throwback? Do you head to the section of the closet where you keep your spiked shoulder pads and silver face paint?

Or do you break out the Stephen Jackson jersey you own because he’s been on your fantasy team for five years running?

As fantasy general managers we invest a lot of time and energy into dissecting, discussing and rooting for our imaginary teams. But when you start putting down real cash to show how much you love your squad, you enter into another category.

Don’t get me wrong, when I finally decided to trade LaDainian Tomlinson after three years on my team, that night involved a Boys II Men cassette tape, a pint of Maker’s and an LT YouTube montage on repeat.

But I’m yet to purchase any fantasy-related jerseys and come game day I’m still wearing my real team’s colors.

Verdict: Real Fan

RedZone or a Real Game?

Pop quiz hot shot: You’re stuck at a remote cabin without cell or Internet access.

The cabin has DirectTV and a flat screen in a locked glass case. Once you pick a channel the remote control will inexplicably explode meaning you are stuck without any way to toggle between programs.

This means you can either watch the RedZone channel or your favorite team’s matchup with a division rival.

What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

The argument for the real game is that when you truly love a team, every play is worth watching.

Conversely, if you are watching the RedZone, chances are the majority of the time they will be showing plays that have no impact on either your real team or your fantasy matchup.   

Also, if you’re watching the real game, you can kind of keep tabs on your fantasy players via the scrolling scoreboard and occasional game breaks.

The argument for the RedZone channel is they show every score from every game, so you will be kept up to speed anytime your fantasy player or your real team gets in the end zone.

Also, they may go to your real game live a few times when a team is inside the 20.

Oh, and the RedZone channel is the best TV watching experience in the history of sports.

If I’m stuck in this hypothetical cabin, that’s what I’m watching.

Verdict: Fantasy Fan  

Will You Draft Your Rival?

I’m a diehard 49ers fan and when I first started playing fantasy six years ago, I couldn’t bring myself to draft any Cowboys.

The residual hatred I’d built up towards Dallas over the 90’s prevented me from rooting for anyone with a star on their helmet.

Nowadays, I’d trade Frank Gore, Vernon Davis and the Alex Smith’s first-born child for Tony Romo if I thought it would win me the fantasy week.

I will admit it’s a little tough to pick say Sam Bradford, only because I’d have to watch him play against my team twice a year, but I’ll still do it and root for a shoot out in those games with a 49ers’ victory.

Verdict: Fantasy Fan

Do You Watch the Fantasy Pregame Show?

Simple choice, ESPN has two pregame shows airing at the same time Sunday mornings, one focuses on real football, the other takes a fantasy perspective.

We won’t send you to the cabin for this one, but assuming you are whipping up some breakfast in the kitchen and don’t feel like flicking back and forth, which one are you watching?

Unless you’ve got a thing for Chris Berman, it is clearly the fantasy show because it’s way more likely to have an impact on your life.

If you are picking between Tim Hightower or Reggie Bush for your third RB spot and Stephania Bell says Ryan Torain has a tweaked hamstring, you are running to your laptop to start Hightower.

If Keyshawn Johnson and Mike Ditka both pick the Redskins to beat the Dolphins, you’re not leaving the waffle maker.

Verdict: Fantasy Fan

Would You Take a Fantasy Championship over a Super Bowl?

This is the biggie, the true test of whether you have gone over to the fantasy dark side.

A couple factors play into this decision, namely what do you win for your fantasy championship?

Obviously, if you are in a no buy-in office pool and all you get for a championship is the chance to send around a snarky email, it’s a little different than a high-stakes league where a victory would pay off your mortgage.

That said, let’s assume it’s a standard league, where the winner gets: a nice but not life-altering payout, bragging rights for a year over your buddies and a trophy you will try and convince your wife/girlfriend to allow in the living room.

As a 49ers fan who has been to the mountain top and seen the lowest valleys, I’m taking a real championship any day and twice on Sundays.

The sad truth is fantasy football is largely about luck, and if you don’t win it this year you’ve got just as good a shot at taking the crown next season.

Super Bowls trophies are few and far between and when you have the chance to see your team get one, you better take it and bask it in the glory because it might not come back your way for a few decades.

Verdict: Real Fan