Ron Artest: 5 Name Changes That Make More Sense Than Metta World Peace
Ron Artest managed to single-handedly steal what little thunder the NBA draft had last week, by announcing his incredibly ridiculous decision to legally change his name.
According to multiple media reports, Artest no longer wants to be called Ron Artest; instead, he's decided his new name will be Metta World Peace.
For those who don't know, Metta is defined as the philosophy and practice of universal love, which doesn't quite fit with Artest.
In fact, unlike fellow nomenclature aficionados like Chad Ochocinco and World B. Free, Artest's name doesn't seem to make much sense at all.
So, to help him out, we here at Bleacher Report have compiled a list of five names that would fit Artest better than "Metta World Peace." You'll find that these names fit Artest's unique personality and skill set on the court a bit better than his current choice.
5. American Psycho
1 of 5When you've nearly surpassed Mike Tyson's level of crazy, this name fits pretty well.
Don't believe that RonRon is crazy? Remember, Metta World Peace isn't the first crazy thing he's done this season; his locker room interviews have ranged from the hilarious to the downright strange (remember the time he made the reporter wear Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian's cologne?).
On top of that, this is the guy who showed up to Jimmy Kimmel Live dressed as what looked like a redneck and also showed up in nothing but his boxers on a separate occasion.
Yeah, like I said, Artest makes Tyson look like a normal, average American.
4. Brickmaster General
2 of 5This may seem a bit harsh, but a closer inspection of Artest's stat line from last year indicates it might not be.
After all, when you hit just 39 percent of your field-goal attempts (and take eight shots per game), 35 percent of your three-point attempts (and take three per game) and just 67 percent of your free throws, the moniker kind of fits.
Sure, he'll have to fight current Golden State Warriors coach Mark Jackson for the title, but I feel like Jackson will be all too happy to give it up.
3. Tru Warier
3 of 5The name of Artest's record label, Tru Warier also perfectly embodies all that the longtime defensive expert stands for.
Fighting spirit, truth and a complete and utter inability to spell "True Warrior." Yeah, that pretty much sums Artest up in a nutshell.
Plus, we know he's already fond of the moniker, as he's had it carved in his hair in the past. He's long described himself as a "warier," so maybe it's about time we started calling him one. Something tells me Ron would love it and would jump at the chance to promote his record label by naming himself after it.
2. Bruce Bowen
4 of 5All I'm saying is the resemblance in their games is downright uncanny.
Therefore, it's only fitting that Artest take on the moniker of a well-known defensive expert, cheap-shot artist (ask J.J. Barea about that) and offensive liability in Bowen.
Granted, I feel like the original Bruce Bowen might be a bit unwilling to have another Bruce Bowen wandering about, but that problem is easily remedied. Just stick "The Second," or "2.0" on the back of Bowen's moniker, and you've got a new name that embodies Artest's game on the court perfectly.
1. Metta Mankind Malice
5 of 5Okay, this one's kind of in depth, so bear with me as we break it down. I realize that Metta is defined as the philosophy and practice of universal love, but it still fits here.
In the case of Artest, this name means the philosophy and practice of the love of causing other people bodily harm.
Given Artest's track record (remember the Malice in the Palace or the time Ron Artest clotheslined J.J. Barea for no good reason in the playoffs?) of getting into or starting fights with opponents and fans, this makes much more sense than "Metta World Peace."
Clearly, Artest loves picking fights more than peace. So, it's only logical that any philosophical name change should reflect that about him and his personality. Therefore, Metta Mankind Malice is a fantastic fit for a guy who just can't seem to keep from clocking an opponent with a clothesline.
