NFL in London: How We Got It Wrong

God, how I hate the Stereophonics. Whiny, talentless no-marks fronted by a man whose sense of his own self-worth is so preposterous, he is wearing sunglasses in what is essentially an indoor arena, and also featuring a bass player so stupid he has had to tattoo his own name on his neck in case he forgets it.

Who in the name of sanity thought that this lot were appropriate as pre-game entertainment? One can only imagine that the thought process went something along the lines of “They have a song called ‘Dakota,’ the Americans will like that.”

So, having screwed up the pre-game show by boring everyone else to tears, how else could London foul up their second consecutive NFL game? Well, there was Joss Stone, for starters. The girl from Cornwall who, for some insane reason, thinks she’s from 1960s Detroit churned out an execrable version of the UK national anthem. It was so bad, it was still being talked—well, laughed—about by radio commentators two days later.

Then there was the stadium PA. Clearly, no one had explained how important it was to be able to hear what referee Tony Corrente was saying. Apart from one brief, glorious period during the third quarter, all you could hear was distorted noise, a bit like when the adults speak in the Charlie Brown cartoons. Given that the whole purpose of playing in London was to introduce the game to the uninitiated, it is hard to understand why no one thought to check this properly before the game, or indeed why so little seemed to be done to try and rectify it during play.

Aside from this, there were the usual Wembley annoyances, such as the bars running out of beer, the place being colder than a mortuary and, of course, the pitch. The latter didn’t cut up as badly as last year, but clearly someone needs to work out that the turf needed for an NFL game and the turf needed for a soccer match are two different things.

On the other hand, you could argue that, for future games, every NFL coach is going to know what to expect and should be able to plan accordingly. That should lead to less whining of the sort Sean Payton has been doing this week.

All of these things are, of course, peripheral to the game itself (with the exception of the PA problem), but they are all essential to encouraging the undecided to take a closer interest in the sport of football. If people are cold, thirsty, and can’t understand what is going on, they won’t come back.

The Saints and the Chargers put on a wonderful display, taking the game down to the final play. Yes, there could have been more aggressive play on defense (there was not one sack during the game) and there were some very silly penalties, but how much more fun would it have been for the casual observer if there had been more attention to detail?

Oh, and whichever official threw a penalty on Lance Moore’s touchdown celebration needs to go and take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror, because that was inexcusable.

One final thought. If there is going to be another London game, how about moving it to week four, instead of week eight? The weather is usually much warmer and drier, which would lead to happier players, happier fans, and a firmer pitch.