WWE: Mark Henry and the 20 Worst Technical Wrestlers in the WWE Right Now

Some dudes just don't know how to wrestle, plain and simple.

Whether they can't execute an easy submission move or they don't know the difference between a sidewalk slam and a DDT, they just look more lost in the ring than Stevie Wonder in a dark movie theater.

They still have a job with the WWE, but it's not because Vince McMahon and the company's higher-ups are expecting a five-star match out of them. It's generally for some other ridiculous reason.

Because let's be real, we all know that there are plenty of wrestlers in the WWE who don't belong anywhere near a wrestling ring—at least not if they're going to actually be wrestling in it.

Like these superstars, the 20 worst technical wrestlers in the WWE right now. 

20. John Cena

Sure, John Cena has actually won a "PWI Match of the Year" award—for his bout against Shawn Michaels on Raw on April 23, 2007.

But he has the same basic formula to about 95 percent of his matches: get beat down for the majority of the bout, come back with the three shoulder blocks, hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle and then eventually finish off his opponent with the Attitude Adjustment, STF or both.

It's probably more the creative team's fault than it is Cena's, but until they change the way he's booked—like Superman—he's never going to be confused for a great technical wrestler. 

19. The Big Show

I like The Big Show, and I think he's about as good as he can be in the ring given his size.

But I don't know anyone who screams, "I want to watch Big Show wrestle! I want to watch Big Show wrestle!"

Why? Because if they wanted to go watch a large, nearly immobile person attempt to move around, they could probably find thousands of 'em in their hometown...and not have to pay 50 bucks to do so.

18. Tyler Reks

Tyler Reks is still employed? Congrats to him, because that's quite an accomplishment.

I've got a college degree and can't find a steady job. Yet, Reks has managed to stay on with the WWE primarily due to the fact that he looks like he's homeless.

After all, it damn sure isn't because he's the next Shawn Michaels.

17. Eve

Whenever I watch Eve in the ring, I wonder when prospective professional wrestlers learn to execute one of the simplest moves in wrestling, the dropkick.

Because the former Diva Search winner must have skipped that day of training.

That's the only explanation for how ungodly awful she looks when trying to do one.

If you've got footage of her actually connecting with an opponent on a dropkick, I'd really love to see it. 

16. Chris Masters

Charisma? No. 

In-ring skills? Hardly any.

Big muscles and a chiseled physique? Check.

Vince McMahon really does have an unhealthy obsession with the big guys.

15. Kane

Sorry, Kane marks, but, at this point in his career, "The Big Red Monster" is about as good in the ring as Michael McGillicutty is on the mic.

Yeah, he's not too nimble these days.

No worries, though. Kane's getting older, and that's what people do when they age—they lose their athletic ability.

And in Kane's case, he's just about lost it all. 

14. Alicia Fox

I legitimately fear for the safety of whoever's wrestling Alicia Fox.

She literally has the most dangerous axe kick I've ever seen because she seems to get closer and closer to decapitating her opponent every time she does it.

I guess that's why they call it the axe kick, huh?

13. Santino Marella

Santino Marella's a tricky one to put on this list, because when he has a different gimmick, the guy's actually a pretty good wrestler.

Just check out his stuff as "Boris Alexiev," and you'll see what I'm talking about.

But, since Santino is relegated to his current goofy gimmick, the most "skilled" in-ring action we really see out of him is "The Cobra."

And, needless to say, that's the most unrealistic move since the Samoan Spike, or maybe even the Mandible Claw.

12. The Bella Twins

I don't care if the Bella twins get more face time than any of the others Divas, or if they're hot.

They can't wrestle.

There's a reason why Nikki almost always replace Brie during her matches—or vice versa—and it's because combining the Bella twins' wrestling skill set almost gives them enough technical ability to make them look decent in the ring.

Almost. 

11. Vladimir Kozlov

The announcers have played up Vladimir Kozlov as a "former sambo champion" for years now, but I think we learned during his Survivor Series match against Edge and Triple H in 2008 that his background in that sport means absolutely nothing in the WWE.

Kozlov failed miserably during his short run at the top for multiple reasons, and at the top of that list is his inability to put on an even halfway decent match at one of the "big four" pay-per-views.

Never before then had I seen a crowd so dead during a WWE title match. But, thanks to Kozlov, I got to witness my first silent WWE arena.

10. Kelly Kelly

Kelly Kelly is my favorite WWE Diva of all-time, but that has zero to do with her abilities in the ring. It's strictly because of what you're looking at right now.

Truth is, Kelly Kelly has actually improved over the last year or two, which is all fine and dandy.

But when your in-ring skills are at about a 2/10, the only way to go is up. K2 is evidence of that.

9. Brodus Clay

I'll give Brodus Clay some credit—for a guy of his size and stature, he could be a lot worse in the ring than he is.

Still, Clay hasn't been around that long, and he hasn't been all that great during the small amount of matches we've seen him in.

He—like many other recent main roster call-ups—could probably use a little more seasoning before being a full-fledged Raw or SmackDown member.

8. Ezekiel Jackson

Body slam, body slam, body slam.

Clotheslines, clothesline, clothesline.

If wrestling required a guy to excel at executing two basic moves, then Ezekiel Jackson would be the MVP of sports entertainment. 

But it doesn't, and Big Zeke will continue to be just another big guy who made Vince McMahon blush the first time he saw him...and thus, got a contract because of it.

7. Michael Tarver

There have been very few wrestlers who I'm 100 percent positive that I could be better than without any professional wrestling training whatsoever.

Michael Tarver is one of them.

It's hard for me to digest the fact that Tarver not only has no idea how to sell a move, but can't even throw a punch and make it look real.

And what's even worse is that Tarver debuted on NXT with a gimmick as a guy who could knock you out in 1.9 seconds.

Really? I'm pretty sure that's not true, Mike. 

6. Kaitlyn

Look, I'm not even gonna bother giving an explanation for this one.

Just watch this—or any other match involving Kaitlyn—and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

See, I told ya so.

5. Hornswoggle

How do you think guys like Tyson Kidd, Zack Ryder, Curt Hawkins, Yoshi Tatsu and especially Chavo Guerrero feel when they see Hornswoggle wrestling on Raw or SmackDown?

Better yet, how do you think Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio, Jushin Liger, Brian Pillman (R.I.P.) and Eddie Guerrero (R.I.P.) feel when they realize that Hornswoggle was the last Cruiserweight Champion in WWE history?

My guess is probably not all that good.  

4. Mark Henry

Fun fact: Mark Henry has been under contract to the WWE since 1996.

He's one of the longest tenured wrestlers in the company...and I have no idea why.

Sure, he competed in the 1996 Summer Olympics, and he also won some contest that gave him his "World's Strongest Man" nickname.

But let's be honest—Henry never really got the hang of wrestling, and he's too slow and immobile to put on a match that I can even bear watching.

He does have one thing going for him though. When he wears his red ring attire, he looks like a giant tomato.

3. David Otunga

If I took a wet paper bag and told David Otunga to wrestle his way out of it, I'd bet everything I own that he couldn't do it.

The guy is the picture perfect example of someone Vince McMahon would sign, and then push.

He's got the look, the size, the mic skills (though I'd still argue he can't cut very good promos either) and the connection to the entertainment world—he's engaged to Jennifer Hudson.

That's might seem like a smart business move on Vinny Mac's part.

Too bad Otunga can't is about as raw as Monday nights in the ring, though.  

2. Mason Ryan

I'll wager that Mason Ryan's favorite color is green.

See what I did there?

In all seriousness, though, Ryan is as green as grass in the ring. He looks completely and utterly befuddled by the simplest of things. 

He can't run the ropes, he can't sell moves, he can't execute moves and he can't be in the ring for more than two minutes without being totally exposed as an unbelievably terrible in-ring worker.

I know Ryan hasn't been around long, but my patience is wearing thin with this dude. 

1. The Great Khali

When I watch The Great Khali attempting to wrestle, I see a five-year-old trying to solve a problem in a rocket science class.

Yeah, he's that bad.

I mean, let's put things into perspective: The Great Khali can hardly even walk, yet we're going to expect him to be able to wrestle?

That's a pipe dream if I've ever heard one.