Shaquille O'Neal Retires: Our 10 Favorite Shaq Quotes
Shaquille O'Neal was more than just a great basketball player during his 19-year career.
Yes, he won four NBA championships, won a league MVP award and was named one of The NBA's 50 Greatest Players (just to name a few of his accomplishments), but he was even more than that.
"The Big Diesel" was also a great entertainer and one of the most unique personalities the game has ever seen.
He never stopped speaking his mind, and provided us with countless memorable phrases and quotes, many of which resulted in constant laughter by those who heard or read them.
Although there are many more, here are 10 of our favorite quotes from "The Big Aristotle."
On Stan Van Gundy...
"I heard his comment. Flopping to me is doing it more than one time, and I realized when I tried to take the charge, as I went down, I realized that that play reminded me of his whole coaching career.
"And one thing I really despise is a front runner, so I know for a fact that he's a master of panic, and when it gets time for his team to go in the postseason and do certain things, he will let them down because of his panic. I've been there before; I've played for him."
Apparently, Shaq wasn't pleased when Van Gundy accused him of being a flopper.
And, he does have a valid point about SVG's postseason success.
He Was Once Asked If He Could Still Play...
"But can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective."
As we will see in a bit, O'Neal never shied away from bathroom references.
On Phil Jackson Possibly Being Fired...
"Phil took us to the finals three out of the five years and you want to fire him and want to bring in Mike Krzyzewski? Come on, man. That's like being married to J-Lo, then dropping J-Lo for a girl that's 5-10, 480 (pounds)."
The Diesel showing Coach K very little love.
Shaq Didn't Mind Being a Terrible Free Throw Shooter...
“Me having a beautiful wife and great family and friends around me, all the money I’ve got, all the things that I’ve got, a Ferrari that I just ripped the top off of and turned into a convertible, the rings I got, the two mansions on the water, a master’s in criminal justice, I’m a cop, plus I look good.
"So to me, shooting 40 percent at the foul line is just God’s way of saying that nobody’s perfect. If I shot 90 percent from the line, it just wouldn’t be right.”
Who says athletes have it all?
On Rick Adelman Complaining About Him...
"That game was dedicated to Rick Adelman. I'm at home, in the bathroom, trying to take a dump, flipping through the channels and he's complaining (on TV) about how I'm stepping over the line.
"I can't even do a No. 2 in peace. I'm sitting there grunting at 12:30 at night. Can I go one day without somebody saying something negative about me?"
O'Neal enjoys talking about his personal experiences in the bathroom, doesn't he?
On Having a Great Regular Season Record...
“If you go 72-11 and don’t win (the championship), it doesn’t mean anything. Actually it does. It means you’ve cheated and played an extra regular-season game.”
So, I take it O'Neal's math skills are similar to his free-throw shooting skills.
On Lakers Owner Jerry Buss...
"I didn't need motivation," Shaq fired back. "I needed a real owner, not a guy that parties with girls three times (younger) than him. When you're 60, hang out with 60-year-olds, not 20-year-olds. You can quote me on that. I've got nothing else to say about Jerry Buss."
Shaq said it, but honestly, we have all been thinking it.
On the Opposition Starting off the Game Hot...
"I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it`s not how you start the date, it`s how you finish it, sir. A lot of people can, you know, start the date with flowers and candy, but if you don`t finish the date... you know what I mean?"
A little dating advice, brought to you by "The Big Cactus." Or "The Big Shamrock." Or any other nickname that I personally can't keep track of.
More Wisdom from Shaq About Opponents' Shooting...
"They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn`t always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning."
Are we sure that's all he eats? Really?
Asked If He Visited the Parthenon When in Greece...
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs we went to."
O'Neal has always been a man interested in culture. I just didn't know it was that kind of culture.