Top Ten Worst Sports Announcers

A.J. MartelliSenior Analyst IOctober 21, 2008

After watching TBS's coverage of the MLB post season, I realized that there are way to many sports announcers that suck. They suck eggs from a straw. So instead of ranting on forever about them, I decided to round up my picks for the worst sports announcers.

Bear in mind, these picks are going to be centered around play-by-play announcers, color analysts, and some sports anchors. I mentioned mostly baseball announcers, because as you can probably tell by now, baseball is my favorite sport.

10)  John Sterling

"That ball is high. It is far. It is gone!" ...and he should be gone. From this universe. Known for his funny calls and "witty" sayings, like "Positively Damonic" when Johnny Damon hits a home run, or the ever popular "upper decki for Hideki," he has got to be one of the most annoying announcers in radio history.

Not that his sayings are completely terrible, but he misses so many calls. I was listening to a Yankee game on the radio over the summer in my car. I'm driving along, and Sterling said Xavier Nady hit a home run. "X marks the spot!" Maybe a minute and a half later, he said it wasn't Nady, but Cody Ransom. He didn't know who was batting. It doesn't get much more embarrassing than that.

9) Joe Buck

When he talks, he has no charisma. I feel that he is biased when he commentates, and he is the guy who publicly admitted that he DOES NOT even watch sports! A sports announcer that doesn't watch sports? That is pathetic.

When Aaron Boone hit his home run in 2003, he sounded like he was bummed out, and then looked pissed off when they showed him in the booth. He and his buddy Troy Aikman should seek something else, but not calling sports action. It is truly annoying listening to him during the playoffs. Every week during this past baseball season, I found myself praying that the Yankees didn't have a Saturday afternoon game on FOX because of him.

8) Mike Tirico

Monday Night Football is almost impossible to watch listening to this guy. Not that I endorse Kornheiser because he isn't much better, and I realize that there are people that like him, but there is just something about him I don't like.

For example, in Nov. of 2006, the Giants played a Monday night game against the Jaguars in week 11. Some executive idiot decided to bring Jay-Z into the booth so he could plug his new album, and all Tirico did was talk with Jay-Z about his music. They ranted on for minutes, paying no attention to the football game. Finally he said, "oh, by the way, the Giants just called time out," as if the game was interrupting his conversation.

Tirico was crucified by the media in New York after that game. I am all for an artist promoting their album, but do it on MTV, not ESPN!

7) Stephen A. Smith

I am not a huge fan of the NBA because I live in New York. The Knicks? bad. The Nets? not as bad, but nothing to write about. Smith covers the NBA, and it almost makes me happy that I don't watch basketball and I don't have to hear this guy.

Smith had his own show called Quite Frankly. I watched the show once, and quite frankly, it sucked. That may be why they cancelled it in Jan. of 2007. I'm happy that he is not really an announcer, and I wouldn't have to listen to him even if I watched the NBA, but his voice irritates me, good for number seven on my list.

6) Jonathan Coachman

Now, I'm not as big a wrestling fan as I used to be back in the day, but he was terrible calling the action for the WWE. When they put him with Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross, it was the biggest mistake the WWE ever made when it came to the broadcasting teams aside from splitting up Ross and Lawler earlier this year. J.R. and the King are probably the best tandem commentating duo the WWE has ever had, so what do they do? Throw in Coachman. What were they thinking?

I was thankful that he left the WWE. But for what, you ask? ESPN. I don't see him that much, because I don't watch the Mike and Mike show in the morning, and I am happy that I never have to hear his annoying voice anymore.

5) Steve Phillips

He was the general manager of the Mets. So, apparently after you're the general manager of the Mets, you suddenly know everything there is to know about baseball. That is how Phillips comes off, that he knows everything. The man even criticized the Reds for drafting Josh Hamilton. Now, granted Hamilton had a troubled past, he cleaned himself up and is an amazing player. Why criticize that? 

From time to time you might hear him call a game or two, and to be honest, I'd rather super glue my ass shut than listen to him. He is an awful know-it-all, bottom line.

4) Chip Caray

Chip is way too chatty and he is stupid trying to be funny. I only think he has his position right now because of his legendary grandfather, Harry Caray who was far superior to him. It was nightmarish listening to him on TBS during the playoffs this year, and his style of broadcasting just doesn't do it for me.

I'm tempted to grab the remote and press the mute button when listening to him. His grandfather would probably be happy that he followed in his footsteps, but trust me, no one is ever happy when they listen to Chip Caray. Oh, and by the way, his real name is Christopher. "Chip" is not his name.

3) Jon Miller

Please, for the love of God Jon Miller, retire. I cannot stand him. His partner Joe Morgan isn't great either, and they should just change the Sunday night baseball team because they are horrible. He and Morgan are actually in a video game series, the MLB2K games. Why in the world would they put them in there? I know I'd never buy those games, and if I did, I'd turn the announcing off. I cannot comprehend how they made it into the game.

It's sometimes a shame to watch such a great reporter, Peter Gammons, work beside him and Morgan. Gammons is a winner of the prestigious Ford C. Frick award. Miller should win the "I suck at commentating" award.

2) Tim McCarver

He is way too easy to pick on. I was watching Family Guy earlier tonight, and they were making fun of him. You know you're horrible when a show like Family Guy is calling you a bad announcer. He's not just bad, though. He is inhumanely atrocious.

McCarver never shuts up, and he over-analyzes every little thing. I don't care if Derek Jeter hits .250 on Tuesdays and .345 on Wednesdays, Tim. If he didn't get a hit, he's out. That's it. I'd be happier if Ken Rosenthal did the commentating, because he is the only one who knows what the hell he's doing when FOX covers baseball.

I am really stunned how he still has his own show, and even worse, he's won awards for sports casting! I mean, come on! He's not any good! McCarver should just not exist in this universe.

1) Dick Vitale

He is the worst of the worst. There are some broadcasters out there who have annoying voices, but he takes the cake. He is so bad, that there is a group on titled "If Dick Vitale and Al Qaeda got into a fight, I'd root for Al Qaeda!" It seriously does not get worse than that. You know you suck when this is happening to you.

Not that I follow college basketball because I don't, but whenever I see this guy on ESPN, I immediately have to change the channel. His voice sounds like grinding flatware, and I cannot listen to him.

Along with his voice, his sayings are stupid. "That's awesome, baby!" You know what we be awesome? If Vitale retired and never showed his face again. It's just a breath of fresh air when he stops talking.

Honorable Mention:

Suzyn Waldman: annoying voice, only repeats what John Sterling says. Other than repeating things, she is useless.

Joe Morgan: Mentioned him before, he is biased and flat-out stinks at broadcasting.

Troy Aikman: Should become a quarterbacks coach for the Cowboys, and leave the broadcasting booth. He was a great player, he is a terrible announcer.

Jim Rome: Obnoxious analyst and host of a terrible show.