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ANN ARBOR, MI - JANUARY 12:  New University of Michigan head football coach Brady Hoke speaks during his introductory press confrence at the Junge Family Champions Center on January 12, 2011 in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
ANN ARBOR, MI - JANUARY 12: New University of Michigan head football coach Brady Hoke speaks during his introductory press confrence at the Junge Family Champions Center on January 12, 2011 in Ann Arbor, Michigan. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

College Football 2011 Predictions: The 5 Coaches Guaranteed to Annoy You in 2011

Andrew KulhaMay 16, 2011

The 2011 college football season will be here in a flash.

I know that right now it seems like it is way down the road, but I can all but guarantee you that it will be upon us before you know it.

The other thing I can guarantee you is that there will be some very annoying figures in the 2011 college football season.

Let’s be honest—there always are.

Any sports fan will tell you that sometimes the most annoying figure on another’s team is its coach. Watching the coach stomp around on the sidelines or smugly give empty answers in press conferences can get quite draining on the mind and is definitely very aggravating.

Here are five college coaches I guarantee will annoy you in 2011.

5. Chip Kelly

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GLENDALE, AZ - JANUARY 10:  Head coach Chip Kelly of the Oregon Ducks looks on during their 22-19 loss to the Auburn Tigers during the Tostitos BCS National Championship Game at University of Phoenix Stadium on January 10, 2011 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Pho
GLENDALE, AZ - JANUARY 10: Head coach Chip Kelly of the Oregon Ducks looks on during their 22-19 loss to the Auburn Tigers during the Tostitos BCS National Championship Game at University of Phoenix Stadium on January 10, 2011 in Glendale, Arizona. (Pho

All we will ever hear about on College GameDay or any of ESPN’s fine programs is how Chip Kelly is a genius and that his offensive scheme is faster than Charlie Sheen on coke.

Now, to be clear I do actually agree that Kelly is somewhat of an offensive genius, but what I’m saying is I can almost guarantee you that I am going to be annoyed by everybody and their mother touting him to be some kind of mad scientist. We’ve had enough coaches who glory-hogged that title in the past.

4. Lane Kiffin

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MINNEAPOLIS - SEPTEMBER 18:  Head coach Lane Kiffin of the USC Trojans instructs players from the sidelines during the game against the Minnesota Golden Gophers on September 18, 2010 at TCF Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/G
MINNEAPOLIS - SEPTEMBER 18: Head coach Lane Kiffin of the USC Trojans instructs players from the sidelines during the game against the Minnesota Golden Gophers on September 18, 2010 at TCF Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Jamie Squire/G

There is no question about it. Lane Kiffin is a wormboy, and for that reason alone we will grow very annoyed of him by the end of the season.

All the talk is about how he is “resurrecting” the USC program out of the abysmal pit that Pete Carroll left it in.

It’s sickening really, because all he’s going to do is pull it out of the hole just to push it back in and skedaddle away.

3. Joe Paterno

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STATE COLLEGE, PA - NOVEMBER 27: Head coach Joe Paterno of the Penn State Nittany Lions stands on the sideline during a game against the Michigan State Spartans on November 27, 2010 at Beaver Stadium in State College, Pennsylvania. The Spartans won 28-22.
STATE COLLEGE, PA - NOVEMBER 27: Head coach Joe Paterno of the Penn State Nittany Lions stands on the sideline during a game against the Michigan State Spartans on November 27, 2010 at Beaver Stadium in State College, Pennsylvania. The Spartans won 28-22.

To be very clear, I do not think Joe Paterno himself is annoying. I just think all the hoopla made about his age is tremendously annoying.

Yes, we know that he is older than dirt.

Yes, we know that he was close personal friends with Aristotle and was present to watch the birth of Larry King and all of the Beatles.

We know he is old.

Let’s move on and watch football now, please!

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2. Brady Hoke

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ANN ARBOR, MI - APRIL 16:  Head football coach Brady Hoke talks with Denard Robinson #16 during the annual Spring Game at Michigan Stadium on April 16, 2011 in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  (Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images)
ANN ARBOR, MI - APRIL 16: Head football coach Brady Hoke talks with Denard Robinson #16 during the annual Spring Game at Michigan Stadium on April 16, 2011 in Ann Arbor, Michigan. (Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images)

“Hokemania” has already started, and maybe it’s because I live in Detroit, but I am already so annoyed by Brady Hoke.

He is a good speaker and motivator, and if anything he is an incredible recruiter, but I am so sick and tired about hearing how “Hokemania” is taking over the Big Ten and curing world hunger.

I’m already tired of hearing how Hoke is a “Michigan man” and how that alone is going to give him the mystical powers to restore the school to prominence.

Let the guy get through a season first, and then you can start judging how great he will be.

Sometimes Michigan fans can live in a dream world, and right now Hoke is the sandman seducing them to sleep.

1. Jim Tressel

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - JANUARY 04:  Head coach Jim Tressel of the Ohio State Buckeyes looks on against the Arkansas Razorbacks during the Allstate Sugar Bowl at the Louisiana Superdome on January 4, 2011 in New Orleans, Louisiana.  (Photo by Matthew Stockman/G
NEW ORLEANS, LA - JANUARY 04: Head coach Jim Tressel of the Ohio State Buckeyes looks on against the Arkansas Razorbacks during the Allstate Sugar Bowl at the Louisiana Superdome on January 4, 2011 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/G

Honestly, is there a bigger dirtbag in all of college football?

“Sweater Vest” is very lucky that I am not extending his dirtbag title out of college football and into the world scale, because I’m sure he would end up quite high on that list.

Tressel is a liar, a cheater and is overrated in just about every way possible.

I am sorry to say this, Ohio State fans, but you have been duped. His “suspension” is in no way an adequate punishment in this case.

Tressel has got to go, because until then we are all going to be very annoyed.

Follow Andrew on Twitter: @AKonSports

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