UEFA Champions League: Breaking Down the Barcelona vs. Arsenal Affair

This article doesn't really have one 'key point' to it, so it's difficult to write a good introduction. I'm just listing the most important things we can draw after Arsenal's champions League defeat to Barcelona.

Barcelona Are the Best Team of All Time

I am not ignorant. It's not as if these past few seasons I've never realised how good Barcelona are, and I actually came to this conclusion last November after they mauled Real Madrid 5-0.

Winning six trophies in one year, beating Madrid by an aggregate score of 16-2 over 5 matches, and, most recently, limiting the Champions League's top scorers to—and this is not an estimate—zero shots on goal.

Of course, they have their faults, their finishing was poor last night and in both Arsenal attacks they scored an own-goal and conceded a one-on-one opportunity. But their pressing is absolutely superb. In my opinion, it is even more impressive than their attacking game.

Last season, Inter, with supposedly the best coach in the world and supposedly the best defence in the world, clung on, and had to rely on scoring an offside goal, committing a penalty which was not given, and having a Barcelona goal harshly disallowed. In the second leg, Xavi made more passes than the entire Inter team. I have only seen one team truly beat Barcelona, Chelsea in 2009.

Unnecessary Dirty Tricks Dent Barcelona's Reputation

Xavi's passing, Messi's dribbling, Puyol's tenacity, Villa's finishing, Alves's rat-like behaviour. These have all come to personify the 2011 edition of Barcelona. For all their plus-points, silly and petulant behaviour stops them from being as admired as their play.

When things aren't going Barcelona's way, they immediately blame everyone but themselves, in a similar way to Arsenal, but to a far higher degree. The most recent highlights include accusing Arsenal of 'lying' over van Persie's fitness, and claiming Walcott would be flown in by private jet minutes before kickoff (was Guardiola’s miraculous recovery from a slipped disc any different?), Alves provoking Arsenal into a brawl because Arsenal had not let them score for 40 minutes and complaining every time they were tackled.

But it doesn't stop there, in 2009, after Chelsea expertly held them to a 0-0 at the Nou Camp, cries of anti-football rang around Cataluña, despite Barcelona committing more fouls than Chelsea over the two legs. This petulance also trickles down to their fans, who deliberately made as much noise as possible outside the Inter hotel to ensure their players would have to defend against Barcelona having had only a couple hours of sleep.

The worst part of this is that those involved in this ugly side of the club are a minority, and Barcelona possesses some of the most honest, down-to-earth players and coaching staff I have come across, such as Andres Iniesta, Lionel Messi and Pep Guardiola, whose commendable sincerity is undermined by vermin such as Dani Alves.

To add insult to injury, none of these dirty tricks even help Barcelona to win; complaining after the match changes nothing (as an Arsenal fan, I can confirm this), van Persie barely touched the ball anyway, and Inter managed to hold on despite being bleary eyed. If Barcelona cut out this cringe worthy petulance they would be everyone's second favourite team, and they would be just as successful as they are now.

Tomas Rosicky Not Fit to Wear the Arsenal Shirt

What more pejoratives are there to describe this bumbling Czech buffoon? Another game played, another loss. Not only does he play every game like he is dragging a ball and chain, but it seems he is now a bad luck charm, too. From missing a penalty at Sunderland in September to poor decision making against Birmingham last week, he has now beaten Squillaci, Denilson and Traore to the title of 'Arsenal's worst player.'

What exactly does he do? He can't attack, can't defend, and can't lead a team. He was preferred to Arshavin purely because he is a harder worker, but barely broke sweat before being replaced by the Russian (although he did manage to get booked), who immediately got stuck in and made the tackle which led to Bendtner's chance. Yesterday I wrote an article on why Eboue should play ahead of Rosicky and, to everyone who disagreed with me, I deem myself vindicated.

Arsenal Fans Should Stop Moaning About van Persie's Red Card

Robin van Persie should NOT have been sent off. It was without question the dumbest red card I have ever seen, especially given the circumstances. If the referee had done his job properly Arsenal could have ended the match with 11 men and had Bendtner's chance fallen to van Persie, Arsenal probably would have gone through.

However, if the referee had done his job Barcelona also would have had two penalties on top of the one they already got, and Koscielny would have gotten a second yellow for the penalty he gave away, and let's not forget Messi's controversially disallowed goal at the Emirates. Overall, I think that for once Arsenal benefited from the referee's incompetence —if only that were the case in the League!

In Terms of The League, Arsenal Have Had a Good Week

On Sunday evening, the twilight of last weekend, Arsenal was missing two of this season's best players: van Persie and Fabregas. Both managed to start against Barcelona, with van Persie coming out unscathed and Fabregas with, at worst, a minor injury.

On top of that, Arsenal can now focus on the league, and gave a better account of themselves against Barcelona than 90 percent of teams ever could, meaning that they should not be mentally damaged by the defeat, unlike last season, when the horrendous tie ended in humiliation and the loss of Fabregas, Arshavin and Gallas to long-term injuries.

'Arsenal = Barcelona Lite' and 'Barcelona Would Struggle Against Stoke' Are Not Only Moronic Statements, They Also Contradict One Another

If I had a penny every time I heard one of these ludicrous statements, I'd probably have about, um, £2, which I could use to buy a cup of coffee which the people who say these things should wake up and smell.

Let's start with the first one: how does one team employing the similar but slightly inferior style of another all of a sudden make them a cheap imitation? Is Birmingham City 'Inter Lite'? Is Blackpool 'Barcelona extra-Lite?' The fact that people treat Arsenal like some sort of Barcelona tribute act is a sad indictment of the state of the game which, thanks to managers like Mourinho, has resulted in just two good teams playing attractive football, which invariably leaves dim-witted pundits to claim that they are one in the same.

There are subtle differences, such as Arsenal's more rigid formation, as opposed to Barcelona players constantly changing positions, or Arsenal's more English-like impatience with the ball and tendency to cross, and...er...oh yeah THE FACT THAT THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT TEAMS! People forget that as recently as the 2007-2008 season, Barcelona finished third to Real Madrid, who were knocked out of the Champions League by Roma in the last 16, and Villarreal, who were not even in the competition, whereas Arsenal finished third (and a closer third, at that) to the competition's two finalists, so there was certainly an argument that Arsenal were at least as good as Barcelona a mere three years ago.

Additionally, when Cesc Fabregas joined because he 'couldn't get into the Barcelona team', Barcelona had not won a trophy since 1999 and had not qualified for the Champions League, whilst Arsenal were in the midst of an unbeaten season. Therefore to say that Arsenal's foundations are set in 'copying' Barcelona is complete bull.

As for the second quote, one of the stupidest clichés in professional sports, how on earth would Stoke beat Barcelona? Oh, I can see it now...Rory Delap's long throw mesmerising the World Cup winning centre back partnership, Abdoulaye Faye outwitting and outpacing Lionel Messi, and Asmir Begovic making David Villa look like a Sunday League footballer.

A day after the match, Real Madrid sacks Jose Mourinho and appoints Tony Pullis, and give Cristiano Ronaldo + £40m for Mamady Sidibe. Give me a break...the only chance Stoke would have against Barcelona outside of a boxing ring would be if half the Barcelona team was arrested for rape at half time.

Finally, let's say, hypothetically, that Arsenal were, indeed, Barcelona Lite. If Arsenal, purely a worse version of Barcelona, have beaten Stoke in four of the five Premier League matches they have played against them (as well as consistently beating fellow bruisers Blackburn, Birmingham and Wolves), then why would the real thing fare any worse? Either Arsenal can do something Barcelona can't, or the very notion that Stoke could beat Barca is worthy of an insane asylum - in my opinion both are true.

Phew! Good to get that off my chest! Hope you enjoyed the rant! Comments are welcome and appreciated.