WWE: The Top 10 Most Awesomely Horrible Wrestling Gimmicks of All Time

Alrighty, Bleachers!  This is my first ever post!  I figured I'd start it off with a bang—really show all you guys the type of hard-hitting journalism I plan to bring on a semi-regular basis.

Okay, so yeah, this is going to be fun, I think. 

Through exhaustive research and hours of hard labor, I have gathered together the 10 most awesomely bad wrestling gimmicks of all time. I think all these guys deserve an "A" for effort, but we can't forget that they all suck at the same time. 

So, without further ado...Here we go!

10. Adam Bomb, Pro Wrestling's First and Only Nuclear War Advocate

Nice Post-Nuclear war goggles bro.

So, this guy pretty much sucked. 

Adam Bomb is No. 10 on the list because, even though his gimmick made zero sense, his name is sort of clever and funny. 

He would come out wearing gigantic plastic gloves and rocked the bio-hazard logo.  I'm not sure exactly where he came from (Hiroshima?), but he found his way to the mid-card during the mid-90s in the WWE/WWF, so good for him, I guess.

9. Doink and Dink the Clowns

Point of Clairification: Doink is the big one. Just in case you wernt sure.

These two came into the WWE at a crucial time. They busted onto the scene and filled a gigantic hole on the roster at the time.

What hole was that, you ask? The hole that only a matching man and midget clown combination that would terrify anybody under the age of seven could fill. Duh.

I'd like to see the thought process that Creative went through with Doink and Dink the clowns. Imagine:

Vinny McMahon: "Okay, so we've got this really great child molester-y clown guy in the ring, but I feel like he's missing something."

Creative: "Lets give him a midget."

Vince McMahon:"Bingo."

8. Tugboat: Yes He Really Called Himself "Tugboat"

Tugboat giving his patented Tugboat Stink-eye of doom. Very Intimidating.

Let me sum up this character as completely as I can.

He basically jogged around the ring making the horn sound that a tugboat makes. That's it, that is the entire gimmick. He didn't even have a real name. Couldn't he have at least called himself Timmy the Tugboat or something so he didn't look a total and complete idiot?

I guess not.

For whatever reason, this character never really caught on in the WWE. Apparently, a fat, white nautical enthusiast isn't the most intimidating presence in the ring. Who would have thought?

7. The Disco Inferno

He looks like the flamboyant younger brother of Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever.

Does he look like a gay extra from the Goodfellas? Yes. Did he ever win anything? Nope. Thank you, WCW, for showing us all that it's never too late to make disco jokes.

I'd make more fun of him, but this kind of does most of the work for himself.  Sometimes he also went by "The Dancin' Machine." Kind of like how people call Randy Orton "The Viper," except way more ridiculous and absurd.

6. Battle Kat

You can almost smell the charisma.

Yes, that's an actual gimmick.

He’s a cat, you see. That’s it. He doesn’t shoot fire or do magic. He’s a dude who kinda fights like a cat.

A cat that battles, you might say.

Yet another gimmick that didn’t catch on, for some reason—perhaps because it’s a tanned up muscular guy in a skimpy unitard wearing pastels pretending he’s a cat. Just a thought.

5. Bastion Booger

Serious Question: Where is his belly-button?

I know what your thinking. "Wow, what a hunk."

Just kidding. Let's get serious for a second. Where is this dude's belly button? Seriously, check out the picture. It's missing.

I'm not exactly sure who this guy is or what business he had in a wrestling ring. But I do know my mom always told me never to trust a man with no belly button. Especially if that man is 400-plus pounds and the amount of acid-washed suspenders he has on out numbers the amount of teeth he has.

Thanks, mom.

4. the Wizard of OZ: Wait What?

Sick pyro. OZ brings the boom

Now, if there's one thing all wrestling fans can agree on, it's the fact that wrestling needs more giant green movie-based warlocks.

I can't imagine why this didn't catch on. It's genius. I mean, imagine the epic feuds he could have had with Kazaam. The OZ and Merlin tag team would have been nearly unbeatable.

The best part about all this nonsense is the fact that the dope who decided to dress up like the ruler of the Emerald City is Kevin Nash.

Yeah, that's none other than Big Daddy Cool himself under the neon green shower curtain.

Before his days of changing the entire landscape of wrestling with Scott Hall and Hulk Hogan, he was chilling with the Tin Man talking about a horse of a different color.

3. Arachnaman

I can't believe Marvel ripped off WCW like that!

Okay, so at what point does WCW just admit that they stopped trying?

2. MAX MOON

and the most unnecessarily complicated knee pads of all time award goes to...

So I want to wrestle, but I also want my grandmother to help out with my costume. It's an understandable dilemma—who doesn't love their grammy?

I'm guessing this gimmick revolved around Max coming from the moon. I don't know why he came to Earth or why he sort of looks the way he does. He was almost No. 1 because, even if it's not the worst gimmick of all time, it's most certainly the pants-shittingly worst costume in the history of costumes.

Great job.

1. Phantasio

Cool? Nope.

So, from the outside it appears that Phantasio is some kind of creepy mime wrestler. However, upon further examination, it's much, much worse than that.

You see, Phantasio was not a mime at all—he was a silent magician!

Now, that doesn't sound like a horrible idea—maybe he could do cool magic stuff and make guys disappear or something. But no, why would they go that route?

Phantasio's "magic" consisted of taking off his mask to reveal an identical mask under his first mask. He had a wand that he could make burst into flames. Oh yeah, he could also pull a really long string out of his mouth. Like way longer than could possibly fit in his mouth if he wasn't oozing magic from every pore.

So yeah, he was horribly horrible. As was everybody on this list. Except the Wizard of Oz, of course. He's a cinematic icon spanning numerous generations.

Well, That Was Eventful

Told you it was Kevin Nash

Hopefully you guys all enjoyed my first post! 

I do realize there are many, many more horrible gimmicks that 5 was not able to include. Feel free to leave a comment with some suggestions, as I am not opposed to making another list.

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Hopefully I was at least a little funny. Let me Know!