Fernando Torres: What Is He Thinking? (New Interactive EPL Game)

Welcome to the inaugural installment of an interactive experiment!

During the course of this slide show, you will be presented with a series of photographs of an athlete—this week, Fernando Torres. Next week, who knows?

You will also be presented with four options for each photo and asked to choose (via the comments section below) what he's thinking in each one.

For instance, if in the first slide you think Torres is thinking option A, simply write "1. A" below.

Let the games begin...

Slap!

Denis Doyle/Getty Images

MADRID, SPAIN - FEBRUARY 09: Fernando Torres (L) of Spain is fouled by Armero of Colombia during the International friendly match between Spain and Colombia at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu on February 9, 2011 in Madrid, Spain. (Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty

A) Oh god my face!

B) What did the five fingers say to the face?

C) I wilt in your tender embrace.

D) This misshapen knave—his mother was a witch...

Crane Kick!

Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 06: Fernando Torres of Chelsea challenges Martin Skrtel of Liverpool during the Barclays Premier League match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on February 6, 2011 in London, England. (Photo by Laurence Griffith

A) I wear Degree when things get hot.

B) Daniel-san...

C) Triple salchow followed by a quick hop.

D) Strike directly at the heart of his manhood...

Propaganda Torres

Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 06: Fernando Torres merchandise on sale prior to the Barclays Premier League match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on February 6, 2011 in London, England. Fernando Torres is Chelsea's new £50 million pound sign

A) Big Brother is watching you.

B) Hail, Satan.

C) Try Crest Whitening Strips.

D) Contact your local recruitment office for details.

A Moment of Silent Contemplation

Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 06: Fernando Torres of Chelsea looks on after a challenge by Daniel Agger of Liverpool during the Barclays Premier League match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on February 6, 2011 in London, England. (Photo by

A) If I subtract our goals from theirs...crap, we lose.

B) He loves me, he loves me not.

C) I knew I shouldn't have used water-based ink. What does that say? It's all runny... "Score goals against team in...uniform." Which uniform?! Uh-oh.

D) If I break one more nail this week...

Sinister Torres

Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 06: Fernando Torres of Chelsea looks thoughtful during the Barclays Premier League match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on February 6, 2011 in London, England. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

A) I'll get you, my pretty...

B) Destruction cometh; and they shall seek peace, and there shall be none.

C) My precious...

D) All universal moral principles are idle fancies.

Face Shot

Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 06: Fernando Torres of Chelsea holds his face after a is challenge by Daniel Agger of Liverpool during the Barclays Premier League match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on February 6, 2011 in London, England.

A) It hurts so good.

B) All pain is a punishment, and every punishment is inflicted for love as much as for justice.

C) Must...draw...foul...

D) How quickly leaves fall from the tree of fortune.