Top 5 NFL Teams That Herschel Walker Should Have Started For in 2010
After 13 years of rest and recuperation, Tecmo Super Bowl phenom Herschel Walker has declared interest in returning to the NFL. Although most experts have reacted with laughter and skepticism, a deeper investigation reveals that the date on Walker's birth certificate should not have dissuaded these five teams from looking beyond the unrealistic probabilities of space and time as they apply to Herschel Walker in favor of the more pressing issue that it will require something otherworldly to remedy the backfield product they subjected fans to in 2010.
Nickelback, Skillet, Mariah Carey...even Enrique Iglesias fill the airwaves with a plea for a hero. These five teams welcome that sentiment. Ladies, gentlemen, NFL GMs, and awful pop music fans need look no further than the bowels of Wrightsville, Georgia to begin their search.
#5 Arizona Cardinals
1 of 5
Two short years removed from one of the greatest Super Bowls ever played, the Cardinals clocked out of 2010 as the worst team in the worst division in the history of professional football. Roughly seven running backs averaged more yards per game than the entire Arizona backfield. Although Arizona was not the only team that housed a poor backfield, the fact that the organization had gone to the Super Bowl so recently only heightens the urgency with which they wish to go back and hit Walker's cell with an invite to camp.
Could Kurt Warner have really been such a monumental player that a team could fall so far so fast without him? The answer is yes. Cardinal fans would be the first to come to terms with the need for a hero to replace a hero. They should have constructed a gigantic spotlight that burst a gigantic H into the night sky.
#4 Seattle Seahawks
2 of 5
Seattle has laid claim to the title of worst NFL team to ever make the playoffs. They have no running game; they have no passing game. They have no star of any caliber on the offensive side of the ball. They win less than half of their games, but do it amidst a division of D-IAA caliber professional teams. There is absolutely nothing for Seahawk fans to brag about or defend themselves with should fisticuffs arise at a bar. And what is the face of this inglorious franchise? There is none. Instead, Seattle watched sixteen regular season games pass by without a single 100 yard game from one of its backs. Even when Marshawn Lynch beefed up the backfield with his awful, awful 3.5 yards per carry, the great northwest longed for a savior.
Although the Seattle off season will be spent celebrating Lynch's one quality rush during the 2010 season (accumulating more yards than Lynch tallied in 13 of 18 individual games), realists will see that Lynch followed that epic, single rush with four total rushing yards the following week while Seattle's ground game was forged by (Wide Receiver) Golden Tate's 13 rushing yards in a playoff loss to the Bears. While dry heaving about the Seahawk backfield, it is worth noting that the Seahawks would have needed to make it to the Super Bowl to secure a .500 record. How can that not be worth mentioning?
But wait! What if Seattle's front office hopped into Bill & Ted's phone booth for a brief trip back to training camp and administered a well placed call to one of Herschel's people? All of the current problems would fall by the wayside.
Disparaging Naysayer: "You are the worst franchise in the history of the NFL to make the playoffs."
Seahawk Loyalist: "Be that as it may, consider that we did it with the face of our franchise being a man who is nearly 49-years old carrying the ball 20 times a game."
No-Longer-Disparaging Naysayer: "You, my friend, just won yourself an argument."
#3 Green Bay Packers
3 of 5
Wait! The Packers? They're headed to the Super Bowl! Of course they are. They're an incredibly hot team loaded with talent. But anyone who follows the NFL knows that Green Bay would happily jump into the Delorean in order to go back to August and pluck Herschel out of the free agent pool. An aspiring backfield was crippled immediately with the assassination of Ryan Grant's knee, leaving rushing duties in the hands of third down back Brandon Jackson. Over the course of a 16 game regular season, only one time did the Packers have a back run for a 100 yards and only twice did they have a back rush for over 75 yards.
Although Green Bay found their stride in the playoffs with a mixture of unproven talent in the form of three skill specific backs, few Packer Backers can deny that the steely presence of a former USFL great would have certainly given fans some peace of mind. Consider that although Aaron Rogers is among the elite blitz beaters at the QB position, he was still levied with countless hits that pushed his estimated concussion total near 300, possibly jeopardizing the longevity of his career. Walker's undefeated MMA record would have taken some of the starch out of any would-be pass rusher intent on ending Rogers (and the Pack's) season.
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
#2 New Orleans Saints
4 of 5
You are the defending Super Bowl champion. You have all the tools to repeat, only to watch your backfield turn to mush. Outside of Chris Ivory's (not even on the active roster the first two games of the season) two 100 yard games (the only two of the season for the franchise), Ivory and a plethora of other underwhelming journeyman tallied less than 80 yards per game. Half of the Saints 2010 season displayed a leading rusher gaining less than 50 yards! And where in this melee was a spry and rested Herschel Walker? Filling his days of boredom by diagnosing himself with various personality disorders (all of whom could have out rushed the Saints).
In the single game that Drew Brees attempted less than 30 pass attempts (vs Carolina), the Saints notched a W and Brees had his highest passer rating of the season! In the remaining games, the Brees averaged a whopping 43 attempts per game, including an eye gouging 60 attempts in a single playoff loss. No man should ever shoulder such a load alone. In searching for someone to share the burden of expectation that awaited New Orleans in 2010, one can only imagine that the Saints wish they could go back and sign the 3x All-American and Heisman trophy winner who channeled his physique into a 1983 Big Mac endorsement. 27 years later, and presumably still loyal to the Big Mac, Walker claims to be in better shape than he was when he became known as the greatest collegiate football player in NCAA history.
#1 Indianapolis Colts
5 of 5
No 2010 team in the NFL would wish the services of Herschel Walker more than the Indianapolis Colts. Although armed with one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game, the lack of a running back the caliber of a 48 year old Herschel Walker lead the Colts through a dismal season of disappointment. Indy had only two games that sported a 100 yard back (both Ws) while the death of Joseph Addai's shoulder exposed an organization neck deep in affliction. The Colts are roundly thought of as the best scouting organization in the NFL, yet no one in the organization had the common sense to call Herschel Walker? Instead these personnel masterminds sat back and watched a team lead in rushing by Donald Brown. Outside of Browns admirable 100yd game against the Jaguars, he averaged 3.2 yards per carry! And he was the Colts leading rusher! Naturally, the Colts playoff chances came down to the last regular season game of the year when preseason pundits would have called them among the favorites to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl.
While Herschel Walker was freeing the oppressed with his 5th degree black belt, the Colts running backs were clawing their way back to the line of scrimmage with suspect results. While Herschel Walker was feeling the surge of his old man strength coursing through his veins, Peyton Manning was throwing INTs and staring blankly at a wristband full of plays that were labeled with an asteriks *
*Plays that would probably work better if we handed the ball to Herschel Walker instead of Javarris James.
As the months pass and teams begin to assemble personnel for their 2011 camps, it should be worth noting that the fates of entire organizations could have been swayed in 2010 with the addition of a man few would engage in the octagon. The Colts are one of five teams that could have done worse in 2010.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
.png?w=480)
