2011 NFL Playoffs: Your Guide to Which Wild Card Matchups To Watch and Why

by Charlie Peters

At long last, the NFL playoffs are here. If you're happy watching football for 12 hours this weekend, then find a nice spot on the couch and get to work. But if one must pick and choose games to watch, then you'll need some help with what to watch.

Are you a die-hard fan of a team that qualified for postseason play? Fine. But what if you don't have a horse in the race? Well I'm here to help by providing a countdown of the most exciting games of the weekend, from the "I guess I'll mow the lawn now" to the can't-miss.

4. New Orleans Saints at Seattle Seahawks (Sat. 4:30 p.m. EST, NBC)

This thing looks, smells and sounds like a blowout. The Saints are defending Super Bowl champs. The Seahawks are not.

Seattle backed into the playoffs primarily because Rams receivers treated Sam Bradford's passes like they were dipped in acid last Sunday night.  Even Jerramy Stevens thought those balls were catchable. At 7-9, the Seahawks have just two things going for them in this matchup: their frenetic crowd and the Saints' injury concerns at running back.

The Qwest Field faithful is notoriously loud, and they'll do their best to amp it up. But getting louder doesn't improve Matt Hasselbeck's hip, the pass rush or a shaky ground game. If your Super Bowl hopes rest on the phrase, "Whitehurst to Obomanu!" then you're not going to Dallas in February.

And while the Saints put Chris Ivory and Pierre Thomas on IR, the injuries shouldn't slow the offense down too much. After all, New Orleans has made stars out of unknowns like Ivory and Thomas. So whoever they throw back there should be able to ease some of the pressure off of Drew Brees. Just about the only intrigue here is a Reggie Bush-Pete Carroll reunion.

Get the lawnmower started.

You'll Be Asking Yourself: How come my 4-6 high school football team missed the county playoffs in 1983, but Pete Carroll gets to make the NFL postseason?

Fun Fact: The Seahawks suck, according to Elias Sports Bureau.

Prediction: New Orleans 34, Seattle 14

3. Baltimore Ravens at Kansas City Chiefs (Sun. 1 p.m. EST, CBS)

The battle-tested Baltimore Ravens travel to Arrowhead Stadium to take on the new-look Kansas City Chiefs. With megajerk Todd Haley at the helm, Kansas City rebounded from a dreadful 4-12 campaign this year. But winning the AFC West with a 10-6 record doesn't mean too much when you take a closer look: the Chiefs have beaten exactly ONE team with a winning record.

Meanwhile, the Ravens are nasty. Joe Flacco is emerging as a top young quarterback (when the blitz is kept away from him) and he has a stable of weapons at the skill positions in Ray Rice, Derrick Mason, Anquan Boldin, Willis McGahee and even T.J. Houshmandzadeh.

Kansas City's hopes rest not on Matt Cassel's efficient shoulders (27 TDs, 7 INT), but on the lethal backfield of Jamaal Charles (1,467 yards rushing on a 6.4 YPC average, best in NFL history) and Thomas Jones (896 yards). However, Baltimore's defense will gear up to stop one of the league's most-effective running tandems and force Cassel to go downfield. Results don't look positive in that scenario, with NFL interception leader Ed Reed at safety.

Expect Kansas City to hang around early thanks to a raucous crowd and then Baltimore to take over in the second half. And then expect Todd Haley to not shake hands with John Harbaugh, or at least to spit in his palm first.

You'll Be Asking Yourself: Does Dwayne Bowe get special road beef imported for playoff games? Or just standard fare to keep things consistent?

Fun Fact: The Ravens are the first team in history to start two murderers in one season, according to Elias Sports Bureau.*
(*Ray Lewis was not found guilty of murder. But neither was O.J.)

Prediction: Baltimore 24, Kansas City 17

2. New York Jets at Indianapolis Colts (Sat. 8 p.m. EST, NBC)

Now things are getting interesting. The Jets return to the place where they lost last year's AFC title game, but also ruined Indy's shot at perfection a season ago. Rex Ryan says beating Peyton Manning is personal, and Peyton Manning says Peyton Manning-type things in response (blah, blah, lot of respect for New York, blah, blah, great competitors, blah, blah, buy a Vizio TV because I'm the pitchman).

I'm of the mind that the Colts slipped this season, though their three seed in a diabolically tough AFC doesn't necessarily support that theory. If Mark Sanchez plays well and the defense can locate Reggie Wayne, the Jets could (and should) win this game, which will set us up with 324 Jay Leno jokes about Rex Ryan avoiding "de-feet" for the first time ever. Awesome.

Love them or hate them, the Jets bring intrigue. And has there ever been a playoff matchup between more different coaches than the excitable Rex Ryan and Jim Caldwell, whose demeanor makes him look like he's from Easter Island?

You'll Be Asking Yourself: If Mark Sanchez complains of plantar fasciitis, does Rex Ryan quietly say, "Prove it?"

Fun Fact: Rex Ryan is the first coach in NFL history to love feet so much that he made foot fetish videos with his wife, then put them on the internet, then claimed it was a personal matter, according to Elias Sports Bureau.

Prediction: New York 17, Indianapolis 16

1. Green Bay Packers at Philadelphia Eagles (Sun. 4:30 p.m. EST, FOX)

Without question, this is going to be the most fun game to watch. Both teams will spend the next three days telling members of the media how excited they are to play defense on Sunday. They're lying. The fun part will be watching two fantasy football darlings, Aaron Rodgers and Michael Vick, romp up and down the field while using weapons like Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin.

This game will be similar to a Madden video game contest, were the defensive side only is allowed to run the goal line formation.

Forget the storylines that the announcers will harp on during the game (Vick's comeback, Vick's MVP chances, Vick's ability to slice up defenses despite being a dog murderer, Vick's vapor rub, etc.) and just enjoy the fireworks. Plus, this will be our first nationally televised appearance for Rodgers since we realized he's worse at sliding than Willie Mays Hayes in Major League.

You'll Be Asking Yourself: How unlikable are the Eagles, when considering that DeSean Jackson is only the second-worst person on his team? And how obvious is it that famously-blonde Kevin Greene, now serving as the Packers linebackers coach, absolutely prefers golden locks? Clay Matthews and A.J. Hawk must make him tingly.

Fun fact: Michael Vick is the first person in history that Tucker Carlson has recommended be executed (for a crime that he's already been punished for), according to Elias Sports Bureau. Tucker late retracted his statement by comparing Vick to a child molester. Can't win 'em all, Mike!

Prediction: Philadelphia 100, Green Bay 96