Cam Newton Scandal Ends: In Other News, the SEC Purchases World's Biggest Broom

An AP report is indicating that Auburn quarterback Cam Newton is eligible to play in the SEC title game this weekend, even as the NCAA finds that his father broke rules by shopping his son to at least one other school.

The NCAA released its finding in a statement today, stating that it had concluded on Monday that a violation of Newton's amateur status had occurred.

Auburn subsequently declared Newton ineligible on Tuesday and immediately requested reinstatement.

The reinstatement has been granted and Newton is cleared to play without conditions.

The SEC is apparently comfortable with this decision.

“The conduct of Cam Newton’s father and the involved individual is unacceptable and has no place in the SEC or in intercollegiate athletics,” said Mike Slive, Southeastern Conference Commissioner. “The actions taken by Auburn University and Mississippi State University make it clear this behavior will not be tolerated in the SEC.”

That last sentence is what made me think I was being punked.

It is being tolerated, not just by Mississippi State and "All In" Auburn but by the NCAA and, ultimately, by Mike Slive himself.

Will this stiff fifteen minute suspension act as a deterrent for other parents looking to strike it rich on their 17-year-old’s potential?

"Johnny has a heck of an arm honey, tell that coach he'll sign for a hundred grand—according to this popular song that's how much it took to get the son of the preacher man—but don't tell Johnny in case we get caught."

The NCAA has basically declared the end of the collegiate slave trade, the bidding may now begin!

In a related story, the SEC acquired the worlds largest broom and has swept the everything under the rug for your enjoyment:

Auburn (No. 1 BCS, No. 2 AP) plays South Carolina (No. 19 BCS, NO. 18 AP) in the Southeastern Conference championship game Saturday. With a victory, the Tigers will earn a spot in the BCS National Championship Game.

Ain't life grand!