College Football Comprehensive: Breaking Down The Highs & Lows Of Week 9
Every week in college football provides plenty of mind-boggling decisions, ridiculous highlights, amazing endings, wacky announcer quotes and unbelievable stat lines.
And the final edition of COLLEGE FOOTBALL COMPREHENSIVE is jammed full of them.
What do Montel Williams and Benjamin Franklin have to do with our favorite sport?
Should Cameron Newton become a wide receiver?
Which Big 12 quarterback set his school's single-game passing yardage record in his first career start?
What was the most unbelievable part of Oregon's 53-point performance at the Coliseum?
Why did Purdue start a quarterback that couldn't throw?
What do Brian Kelly and Steve Spurrier have in common?
And since when is Boise in Ohio?
Bottom line: Whether you watched 10 games, zero games or somewhere in between on Saturday, CFC is the ultimate wrap-up you donโt want to miss, featuring the always-popular segments:
WHOโS NUMBER ONE?
THANK GOODNESS FOR MY DVR
THAT CANโT BE RIGHT!
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE
MAYBE BROADCASTING IS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT
MAYBE COACHING IS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT
MAYBE OFFICIATING IS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT
SINCE I DO LIVE IN OHIO...
OVERTIME
Letโs kick it offโฆ
Who's No. 1?
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WHOโS NUMBER ONE?
Taking a stab at ranking the nationโs Top 25 teamsโฆ
1. Boise State 7-0
2. Oregon 8-0
3. TCU 9-0
4. Auburn 9-0
5. Utah 8-0
6. Alabama 7-1
7. Wisconsin 7-1
8. Ohio State 8-1
9. Oklahoma 7-1
10. Nebraska 7-1
11. LSU 7-1
12. Stanford 7-1
13. Missouri 7-1
14. Arizona 7-1
15. Iowa 6-2
16. Michigan State 8-1
17. Arkansas 6-2
18. South Carolina 6-2
19. Oklahoma State 7-1
20. Nevada 7-1
21. Virginia Tech 6-2
22. Mississippi State 7-2
23. Baylor 7-2
24. North Carolina State 6-2
25. Syracuse 6-2
Thank Goodness for My DVR
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THANK GOODNESS FOR MY DVR
The jaw-dropping highlights that were worth rewinding forโฆ
Strong touchdown run by Florida Stateโs Christian Ponder, who found the right pylon from a couple yards out despite having five NC State players trying to drag him down shortโฆ
Loved the one-handed catches from Iowaโs Marvin McNutt and Notre Dameโs Michael Floydโฆ
Florida defensive back Will Hill came up a yard short of the end zone on his overtime interception return, but it was still one of the most impressive highlights of the afternoonโฆ
Excellent cutback moves from Ohio Stateโs Jordan Hall on his 70-yard second-quarter punt returnโฆ
Ole Miss wideout Markeith Summers used every inch of his frame to pull in a pretty diving 29-yard touchdown grabโฆ
How about quarterbacks catching touchdown passes? Boise Stateโs Kellen Moore had an easy one, while Auburnโs Cameron Newton had a brilliant one. Iโd say move him to receiver, but heโs done okay in the backfield too.
How in the world did Tulsaโs Ricky Johnson get SO wide open for a 31-yard catch on 3rd and 26? The uncovered reception helped the Golden Hurricane keep their final drive alive, which led to the game-winning field goal in a 28-27 upset.
Boise Stateโs playbook is full of tricks, but I donโt think they drew this one up: Jeremy Avery fumbled the ball trying to run a Wildcat play, scooped it up, and then ran left for an 18-yard touchdown.
And last but not least, my no-doubt favorite play of the day: incredible awareness by Iowa safety Tyler Sash to flip the ball to teammate Micah Hyde after a first-half interception. Hyde cut back across the grain all the way to the left sideline for the final 66 yards of a combined 72-yard touchdown return, finishing with an all-out dive from the 4-yard line to reach the pylon.
That Can't Be Right!
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THAT CANโT BE RIGHT
The ridiculous stat lines, improbable scores and ticker typos that cause double-takes everywhereโฆ
Does the school record count if it comes against Vanderbilt? Nice day from Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallett, who posted the best passing total in Razorbacks history with 409 yards through the air.
Does the school record count if heโs never started a game before? Texas A&M quarterback Ryan Tannehill made his first career start something to remember, throwing for a school-record 449 yards and four touchdowns in a 45-27 victory.
Sorry, Iโve never heard of him. โWilsonโ, maybe? The SEC Network was promoting a North Carolina State quarterback named โRussell Wislonโ for some All-American award or other on Saturday.
Hello, Big 12 champs? Nebraska running back Roy Helu put up a mind-blowing 307 rushing yards on 28 carries to help the Huskers knock Mizzou from the ranks of the unbeaten. After his first 10 carries, Helu was still averaging 23 yards per rush. (Yes, I know that looks like a typo. Itโs not.)
Sweet 16 for Duke? Sounds familiarโฆ Duke quarterback Sean Renfree hit his first 16 passes and finished 28-30 (93.3%) through the air as the Blue Devils knocked off Navy 34-31.
Not you again! North Carolina trailed 17-7 at halftime against FCS opponent William and Mary and their quarterback, Mike Paulus, who was a Tar Heel for the past three seasons.
Unbeaten no longerโฆ How in the world can Missouri and Michigan State stay unbeaten into the last weekend of October and then completely lay an egg at the exact same time? Sparty got beatdown to the tune of 37-6, while it only took the Tigers 12 minutes and change to go down 24-0.
That will help the offensive season averages.ย Nevada 56, Utah State 42 (thatโs 14 combined touchdowns if youโre scoring at home). UABย 50, Southern Miss 49 in double overtime (that two-point conversion comes in handy, doesnโt it?).
That will hurt the offensive season averages. Oregon scored 53 points against USC Saturday night...and unbelievably, their points-per-game average went down as a result.
Under the Microscope: Illinois 44, Purdue 10
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UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: ILLINOIS 44, PURDUE 10
In-depth spotlight and analysis of a game that deserves a closer lookโฆ
Maybe at Navy, they could get away with starting a quarterback that canโt throw.
Perhaps a Georgia Tech or Air Force could line up and run nothing but triple option for 60 minutes with a quarterback whoโs only able to use his feet.
But at Purdueโa program best known as the โCradle of Quarterbacksโ and the birthplace of โBasketball on Grassโโstarting somebody under center with a lacerated finger (that doesnโt allow him to even throw the football) is a significant problem.
And it was obvious in Saturday afternoonโs blowout loss at Illinois.
Redshirt freshman quarterback Rob Henry started the game for the Boilers but never attempted a pass, and it didnโt take a genius (translation: even Ron Zook got it eventually) to figure out that Purdue had no intention of putting the ball in the air when Henry was on the field.
The Boilermakers eventually turned to Sean Robinson, who would have probably been the fifth option at quarterback when fall camp started (Robert Marve: torn ACL. Caleb TerBush: academically ineligible. Rob Henry: lacerated finger. Justin Siller: currently a wide receiver and still nursing an ankle injury. Sean Robinson: all thatโs left.) Robinson, an Illinois native, mustered 52 passing yards in all, and it took a late field goal for the visitors to narrowly avoid their second consecutive shutout loss (after getting blown out 49-0 at Ohio State last weekend).
While Purdueโs quarterback situation is a gigantic weakness at the moment, Illinois couldnโt feel better about theirs. Nathan Scheelhaase completed 80 percent of his passes, threw for four touchdowns, and, oh yeah, he rushed for 118 yards too.ย
It all adds up to 313 yards of total offense for the Illini quarterback, more than a hundred better than the paltry 205 Purdue managed as a team.
Although both teams have similar records (Illinois improved to 5-3 and 3-2 in conference, while Purdue fell to 4-4 and 2-2), their collective talent levels and overall season trajectories couldnโt be more different. Illinois has stayed on course despite difficult losses to Top-20 foes Missouri, Ohio State, and Michigan State and has their sights set on a possible New Yearโs Day bowl game. Purdue is reeling after a surprising 2-0 start in conference play and finally showing the effects of losing their top quarterback, running back, defensive back, and a handful of receivers to injuries.
In fact, comparing the current state of these teams on paperโฆIโd say 44-10 in Champaign sounds about right.
Extra Points from This Week's Microscope Game
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Extra points from this weekโs Microscope game:
-After the first Illinois touchdown, the ensuing kickoff hit Purdueโs Joe Holland and the Illini recovered. The first-quarter stats were predictably lopsided as a result of the miscue: Illinois had the ball for 13:25 of the period, outgained Purdue 131 yards to 3, and earned 9 first downs (compared to zero for the Boilermakers).
-Purdue kicker Carson Wiggs wasnโt happy that the referees ignored coach Danny Hopeโs timeout call in the final seconds, and took to Twitter to complain/explain. Hope, who has spoken openly of wanting to give Wiggs an opportunity to kick a record-breaking field goal (and told me in August that he would let Wiggs attempt a 70-yarder to win a game if necessary), apparently wanted to try and build some momentum for his team with a 64-yard kick at the final horn.
Wiggs: โHope called a time out at the end of the game for a long FG and the refs ignored him right to his face. Ridiculous!โ He later clarified to me that โthe sideline ref on our sideline call[ed] the timeout and the others just ran offโฆ it would've been a 64 with the (strong) wind at my back. You know the Big Ten record is 63.โ
-Illinois has plenty of playmakers at the skill positions, including running back Mikel LeShoure, who ran for two touchdowns and caught another. Offensive coordinator Paul Petrino did a nice job of getting Scheelhaase, LeShoure, and wide receiver/quarterback Eddie McGee in space, and Purdue struggled all afternoon long to slow down the home teamโs attack.
-While the Boilermakers defense didnโt have much to write home about, senior defensive lineman Ryan Kerrigan continued his excellent season. Kerriganโs second-quarter sack gave him 7.5 for the year and 28.5 for his career; the likely 2011 first-round pick came into the afternoon leading the Big Ten in that category.
-I got a kick out of the third-quarter sequence where Illinois was credited for a touchdown, but then the call was reversed on review because the ball didnโt actually cross the planeโฆand on the next play, the Illini ballcarrier was ruled down short of the goal line, but the replay official awarded the home team a touchdown after review. Strike one, strike two, Mr. Referee.
-According to Mike Carmin of the Lafayette Journal and Courier, Hope didnโt take too kindly to Zookโs decision to keep his starting quarterback in (and let him throw) with a 37-10 lead in the final minutes. Frankly, while I understand Hopeโs frustration to a degree (and even more so his beef with the referees completely ignoring the timeout call, if thatโs what happened), I still think he has bigger problems and concerns after getting outscored 93-10 in the past 120 minutes of football.
Maybe Broadcasting Is Easier Than I Thought (The Lou Holtz Specials)
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MAYBE BROADCASTING IS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT
This weekโs wacky and weird announcer quotesโฆ
โJeremiah Masoli has to play offense AND quarterback.โ โ Lou Holtz
โThat is a little scary proposition with the pickles from Professor Picklestein.โ โ Beth Mowins
โA quarterbackโs gotta be big and strong, good-looking, and smart.โ โ Bob Griese
โTheyโre smiling in Boise, Ohio.โ โ John Saunders
โFirst time in Cincinnati history that three Wildcats [had over 100 yards receiving] in one game.โ โ Rob Stone calling the Bearcats game
โI see those hips on the hands.โ โ Craig James
โYour brain is still stuck inside that helmet.โ โ Mike Patrick
โJeannine, letโs check in with you. Alfonzo Dennard went out of the ballgame and heโs still out. Is he okay? โ Ron Franklin
โYeah, Ron. Actually no. Um, he has suffered a concussionโฆโ Jeannine Edwards
โItโs Halloween weekend and Randy Shannon is in the middle of a nightmare.โ โ Bob Wischusen
โThey slip Montel Williams out the backside.โ โ David Archer describing a completion to Montel Harris
ย โAlright Mike, Studio Update brought to you by, wellโฆbrought to you by me.โ โ Robert Flores
โ4:45 on the game cock.โ โ Dave Neal on the South Carolina broadcast
โHere come the 2000 edition of the Nittany Lions.โ โ Brad Nessler as Penn State runs out of the tunnel
โRicky Stanzi could have read War and Peace back there, he had so much time.โ โ Matt Millen
โI donโt know if I believe anything that comes out of Lane Kiffinโs mouth.โ โ Bob Griese
(On Chip Kellyโs love of the two-point conversion) โHeโd go for four if they let him.โ โ Mike Patrick
โHelu continues to have just a โhelluciousโ day.โ โ Ron Franklin
โThe S on the helmet for โsmartโ and for โstudโ.โ โ Glenn Parker
โNice chest move here in the game of chest.โ โ Andre Ware (Actually, Andre, the game is called chess.)
ย โThereโs a clock in every quarterbackโs hand that he has to understand, โIโve got to get rid of the ball.โโ โ Herm Edwards
โWeโre gonna play Howie Mandel hereโฆis this โtauntโ or โno tauntโ?โ โ Verne Lundquist
And a couple final thoughtsโฆ
Memo to Matt Millen: Please learn how to pronounce the name of Iowaโs head coach correctly. (Itโs FAIR-ints, not fur-ENTZ)
Memo to Brent Musburger: From now on, make sure your broadcast actually HAS gone to commercial before you start critiquing the attendance to your partner. (Otherwise, we hear this: ย โWeโll be right back.ย [long pause] The stadiumโs half empty.โ โ Brent Musburger)
Maybe Coaching Is Easier Than I Thought
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MAYBE COACHING IS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT
Did somebodyโs seat just get hotter?
Hey Brian Kelly, youโve got mail.
Itโs from a Mister Steve Spurrier in Columbiaโฆletโs see here...yes, Columbia, South Carolina.
Mr. Spurrier is writing with some friendly advice regarding clock management.
(Pause for eruption of laughter.)
As I was sayingโฆ
Mr. Spurrier wants you to know that when your team is in field goal range in the gameโs final moments and can win or tie with a field goal, attempting an ill-advised throw into double coverage in the end zone isโฆin factโฆill-advised.
Because when a field goal is all you need, getting greedy and risking a turnover could cost you the game.
Like it did Saturday, perhaps?
Tulsa 28, Notre Dame 27.
Enough said.
Maybe Officiating Is Easier Than I Thought
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MAYBE OFFICIATING IS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT
Throwing the flag on the guys in stripesโฆ
With Miami (FL) trailing Virginia 24-6 in the fourth quarter Saturday afternoon, the Hurricanes got a nine-yard rushing touchdown from Stephen Morris to cut the lead to 24-12. Miami lined up for the extra point, but kicker Matt Bosher shanked it wide right.
So of course, the official standing directly underneath the goalpost immediately flung his arms up in the air to declare that the missed kick was, in fact, good.
After a brief conference with a few smarter men (i.e the rest of his crew)โฆand enough time for the crowd in Charlottesville to complain vehemently, watch the replay, and complain even more vehementlyโฆthe embarrassed official finally changed his obviously incorrect call.
Maybe officiating is easier than I thought.
Since I Do Live in Ohio...
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SINCE I DO LIVE IN OHIO...
News from around the Big Tenโฆ
Lately it seems like the only things certain in life are death, taxes, and a weekly injury to Denard Robinson. The Michigan quarterback has been getting knocked out of every game for at least a few plays, but keeps bouncing back to gash defenses for big ground gains (Robinson piled up 191 rushing yards at Penn State).
All in all, it wasnโt a good day to be a quarterback, as several prominent signal-callers werenโt fortunate enough to return to the lineup after suffering injuries. Taylor Martinez, Jacory Harris, and Dayne Crist each missed large chunks of their Saturday games, and only Martinezโs Nebraska squad was able to pull out a victory without its starter finishing the contest.
Also from the Michigan-Penn State gameโฆI absolutely hated the fourth-quarter personal foul call against the Wolverines as Michigan tried to finish off an improbable comeback. Chaz Powell fumbled the ball toward the sideline but was still inbounds when the Michigan tackler hit him. Thereโs no way a defender can pull up and not hit a player when heโs still standing on green grass, especially if he canโt see that the ball has been fumbled.
Oh, and thereโs absolutely no chance that call is made if the hit in question doesnโt happen right in front of the Penn State coaches. Iโd love to see the percentage of โlate hit out of boundsโ whistles that happen on the offensive sideline as opposed to the defensive sideline. Talk about an unbelievable stat.
Overtime
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OVERTIME
Since CFC isnโt really done until the fat lady singsโฆ
I'm not one for long, flowery goodbyes, so I won't give you one. As I wrote last week, today marks the end of College Football Comprehensive after nearly three full years posting on Bleacher Report each week of the college football season.
I'll still be listing my observations in each category from time to time on my Twitter feed, so follow me at @TimCary and let's keep the conversation going there. (Because how could we ever go back to watching football without making fun of announcers, anyway?)
Thanks to all of you for reading, commenting, complimenting, debating, and of course, submitting examples over the past few years. It's been a lot of fun.
And whether this column ever comes back in some form in the future, or whether this is in fact the end, please remember this one important thing...
The BCS is still a joke.
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