SEC Predictions: Larry's Losers in The SEC, Week Ten

Larry Burton (Syndicated Writer) Well folks, Week 10 means that we're all nearing "amen corner" and heading to the homestretch. The mules can see the barn from here and are all pulling a little harder now.

With last week's sophisticated cypherin' our record jump up to 54-9. That's a solid 84 percent, or a B on anybody's report card, so while we're on the Dean's list for pigskin prognostication, let's use this week's batch of smart cookies and delicately describe the disastrous decisions that will defile some teams' record.

Vanderbilt at Arkansas

The Nashville bell bottom boys navigate their way over to Fayetteville to pay a visit to the pig pen. They'll wish their navigation skills weren't so good after the get there.

This year's pig parade has had a couple of bad acts, but overall, these are some awesome oinkers and Mr. Mallett will make their day as bad as the smell from the lower side of the pig pen.

The Commobores can't make this an interesting content and they will be the team that really stinks up this game.

Larry's Loser—Vanderbilt

Auburn at Ole Miss

Mr. Green Jeans Chizik brings the hottest SEC team down to the Rebel battlefield to take on one of the coldest.

Houston really is a Nutt if he thinks he has the manpower or the game-plan to keep the War Cam Eagle from dropping lumps of dung down on this team as it flies by on its way to the end zone.

The only interesting thing about this game will be to see if they can beat them worse than Alabama did last week.

Larry's Loser—Ole Miss

Kentucky at Mississippi State

The Kentucky Kitties were all excited about seeing the Mississippi variety Bulldogs on their travel plans at the first of the year, but now that puppies are all growing up and wide awake, this might not be the yard you want to come sneaking into.

This Kentucky Joker is really more like another Batman villain than the Joker, he really is more like Two Face. Good one week and sorry the next.

There's a reason that the West has the top five teams: they're simply better teams and this game should cement that fact even more.

Larry's Loser—Kentucky

Florida and Georgia in a neutral site

I've never understood how playing in Florida is neutral for the Bulldogs, but the world's largest cocktail party will certainly have a lot of both colors to go around.

Bacardi and I have been scratchin' our heads over this game for a while now. The Gators sure have more talent comin' off the bus, but Georgia is playing with a hot hand and diggin' hard to make up ground from the suckiest start in years for the flea bags.

I see Florida finally coming back to form, but Bacardi says he's heard the dogs barking and they say they're ready to finally give the Gators a little pay back. Since he seems more convinced than me, I'll go with the practically perfect pug.

Larry's Loser—Florida

Tennessee at South Carolina

Vince Dooley is looking for an SEC win harder that Les Miles looking for excuses for poor clock management, and he's headed East to mine the hills of South Carolina for one.

But the Old Ball Coach has already had his bad slip up for the year by letting the Kentucky Kitties raid the hen house for the victory egg, and he about to let this young upstart come in and ruin the rest of his season.

The Vols will make a game of it for a half like almost always, and then only come up with Fool's Gold in the end and leave just as poor as when they showed up with only a pecking to show for their trouble.

Larry's Loser—Tennessee

Well that's all folks, there are just five games this week and a loss could sure hurt your average. Old Bacardi and I want to thank all the fine folks who tune in this way every week, and the pooch loves your comments.

"Darn dog!" I can't turn my back on you for a minute can I? He just ate the whole plate of smart cookies and now he'll be up all night doing crossword puzzles.

"No you can't have a glass of milk to wash 'em down. Now go get my house shoes so we can go out back before bed time and water the ant hills."

Till next week folks, while it may not be who wins or loses that is important, but how you play the game, I'd rather just win.