Wild Weather and Wilder Rants: Mid Week Review

With the NFL season winding down, it seems that all the wildness happens right around here every year.

This season is no different. Considering the New England Patriots are two games away from history, Spygate has become a thing of the past, instant replay is becoming a long winded joke, and people are already thinking about the Jim Mora conference that most likely made him famous, it’s good to know (or bad, depending on who you are) that Goodell Castro is keeping things interesting and leaving us all with a giant headache heading into 2008 and the postseason.

But he isn’t the only one causing a storm in the sports nation this week. This time, he’s got some help in his campaign to doom us all. Here’s the sports weather report.

Hurricane Seminole-Gate: The Beginning of the end at Florida State?

Bobby Bowden is coming off another dismal season in Tallahassee, and with this added dose of news, he may be reconsidering that contract extension.

Over 20 players—at least 96% of them from the football program—have been suspended for…get this…cheating.

I never thought I would see the day where the State of Florida would actually punish individuals for cheating! But I digress; the news was handed down by FSU alums and the current university President, TK Wetherell.

After receiving a tip that several student athletes had their "A’s" handed to them on a silver platter by an AD tutor, Big Bad TK went into action to drop the hammer on these individuals.

How amazing that he waited until the season was over before making a move. I mean, I know it takes a long time to mount enough evidence to make things happen, but seriously, if the Seminoles were playing for the national title, do you think we would even know about anything happening in the first place?

It’s no surprise that this would destroy Bowden’s reputation in the recruiting circus...unless someone had a 1.5 GPA and could run like the wind. Apparently, this whole cheating scandal has been going on since the fall of last year— which could explain why the Seminoles were getting so penalized and couldn’t mount any offense, since a good portion of the team couldn’t even count.

It’s no secret that I’m a die hard Gators fan, so of course it would make sense to poke fun at a tragic situation involving our rivals. But I also feel bad for Bowden.

First came the rumors that he may have been coaching his final season in Tallahassee. The results of this season's games didn’t improve FSU's odds of keeping him. Now you throw this into his lap when he has to focus on Kentucky? Are these guys in Tallahassee completely retarded?

The season may be over, but Bowden’s ‘Noles won enough games to get a bowl appearance, at least. I’ve never been one to chastise a university for cheap tactics, but the fact is that Florida State already has a guy lined up to replace Big B, if and when he decides to hang up his straw hat.

So in all honesty, is there even a point of leading this on?

They should have let Bowden have a proper sendoff, instead of saying, “By the way, Bob, you’re going to be about 20 players short for the Music City Bowl,” and expecting him to try and work with that.

Even though he signed an extension, don’t expect him to be nice to Wetherell or anyone until he’s able to relax away from gridiron for at least a couple of weeks.

Forecast for Florida State: Hazy with a severe chance of backlash.

Castro Brings Thunderstorm to Hot-Lanta

I’m not a rocket scientist—nor do I want to be. But Roger Goodell is really starting to rub me the wrong way.

His decisions have done just that to multiple teams, but the one team that is really feeling the burn of Goodell Castro is the Atlanta Falcons. Talk about a roster that just needs a break...Atlanta has had a very dismal season so far.

It started even before the season began, when their quarterback was implicated in an illegal dogfighting ring. Then, as if things weren’t bad enough for Atlanta, their own head coach Bobby Petrino loses his manhood and disappears like a thief in the night to go and coach the Arkansas Razorbacks.

No goodbye to the players. No apologies to the fans. Just a phone call in the middle of the night to the boss saying, quite simply, “I quit.”

But after a game against the Saints a few weeks ago, Castro struck again.

Several Falcons players decided to bring the dirrrty south out in full force in their December 10th contest against New Orleans. With the season as good as dead for them, five players decided to mount a protest against FEMA, the NFL, and the judge who apparently has a lot of Chihuahuas at home.

Cornerback DeAngelo Hall ran onto the field with a Michael Vick poster during pregame introductions, and later taped the poster to the back of the Falcons’ bench. Unfortunately, the PR department grabbed the poster before (so their thinking went) anymore damage could be done.

They thought wrong, as Hall and tight end Alge Crumpler wore the message “MV-7” on their eye-black patches during the game. But it got even more bizarre after that.

In what will go down as the wildest touchdown celebration in a dome since Joe Horn’s phone call from a goal post, Roddy White caught a pass and pulled up his game jersey (with some help from Horn) to reveal a shirt that read, “Free Mike Vick.”

Honestly, I thought it was funny, but I guess the big guys upstairs didn’t find the humor in the antics of the Dirty Bird Gang.

But come on, Castro. What would you do if your coached showed that it’s okay to throw in the towel before the battle is over? Oh, that’s right: you wouldn’t know, because you hide in your little corner office giving the "eye" to your young naïve 20-year old secretary.

I don’t know about anyone else, but the truth is that if there is any team that has lost some much deserved respect and credibility because of this season’s events, it’s the Atlanta Falcons. They should be able to at least have some fun since their season is over.

But hey: as long as Castro is running the show, Dennis Green will continue to smile from his senior retirement home. Thanks for the getting rid of the "Bob ‘n’ Weave," jackass.

Besides, Goodell ought to remember that the fans can rebel pretty well. Just ask the refs in Cleveland.

Forecast for Castro: Dark clouds surrounding the Super Bowl with massive fan precipitation.

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If the playoffs were to start this weekend, how would things look?

By Wednesday, seven spots were filled for the postseason, leaving five spots up for grabs. Only two weeks remain, and already, the fans are frothing at the mouth.

Mother nature proved that it can still play a pivotal part in the outcome of games. No rain in Miami = the Dolphins’ first win of the season. Massive snow in Cleveland = the Browns one heartbeat away from their first postseason in God knows how long. Wild showers in Pittsburgh = blind refs, a ticked off head coach, and a team losing its grip on the division.

But mother nature takes a much more interesting turn when the playoffs are on the line. The Packers and Cowboys are back to their old, wily selves, while the Patriots are chasing the impossible dream of an undefeated season.

But the biggest stories of this year are coming out of Cleveland and Minnesota. Two teams who weren’t given a chance to even clinch a berth are one step closer to playing in January. Sadly enough for both teams, the road to Tempe has to go through Indy, Foxboro, Dallas, and Green Bay.

Sorry Minnesota, but that doesn’t bode well for you.

If the playoffs were to start this weekend, the Pats, Colts, Jags, Chargers, Steelers, and Browns would be representing the AFC, while the Cowboys, Packers, Seahawks, Bucs, G-Men, and Vikings would be duking it out in the NFC.

But the question of which conference is stronger can actually be answered even before the playoffs start.

Not depending on a computer to decide their fates, the top four teams (in this order) are New England, Green Bay, Dallas, and Indianapolis. Sorry, but when you barely beat the Oakland Raiders, you don’t move up in the standings.

So since there’s a stalemate at this moment, all four of these teams need convincing wins this weekend to even stay above the upset minded underdogs.

Expect big things to happen in Cleveland if the Browns even make the playoffs. Fudge a Super Bowl! Cleveland hasn’t had much to smile about this year, (the Cavs' spanking in the finals, Indians choking on the Sox), and a playoff berth for their beloved Browns is like the Indians winning the World Series or Brad Daughtery coming back to coach the Cavs.

As for Minnesota, a playoff berth would surely get the Randy Moss monkey off their back…if they can win when it counts.

But the Vikings are such a lousy football team anyway, they’ll ruin Adrian Peterson’s career if he isn’t careful.

Forecast for the Postseason: Severe chance of hangovers, tears, male bonding, “Hi, Mom” comments, and riots on the east coast/Severe chance of channel surfing on the west coast/Heavy snowfall and massive sightings of Brett Favre’s naked behind going grocery shopping in the north/many dogs barking at the moon at an Ozzy concert in the south.

That’s the rundown of a psychotic week on the gridiron. See ya Thursday.

WARNING: The views expressed by this writer are not those of the Bleacher Report or its constituents. Any insults or off the wall messages are allowed and encouraged…but remember that this is just a rant. So don’t take it too personal…unless you’re a Goodell Castro supporter.