Miami Dolphins: Why Can't They Find a Dynamic Kick Returner?

Wanted: One football player who can consistently catch kickoffs or punts and give the Miami Dolphins an occasional touchdown and much better field position.

Qualifications: Must NOT plow into tacklers and go down immediately after contact.

Must not run out of bounds. Must make plays other than a "fair catch," or letting ball bounce in front of him even without any defenders in the area.

Compensation: Whatever the salary cap will allow. Check that, there is no salary cap, and therefore whatever applicant deserves.

Start Date: Monday Night, Oct. 4, against New England Patriots.

Maybe a classified ad such as the above is exactly what the Miami Dolphins need to bring a dynamic kick and punt returner to the franchise for the first time since, well, perhaps forever.

Seriously, though, aren't you getting tired of watching Patrick Cobbs, Davone Bess, and the recently waived Clifton Smith return the ball while knowing that Miami will start on offense with the ball somewhere inside their own 30-yard line?

Can it really be that hard to find a guy?

The answer is no. Golden Tate, Brad Smith, Dexter McCluster, Johnny Knox, Leon Washington, Antonio Brown, C.J. Spiller, Bernard Scott, Brandon Tate, Bernard Scott, LaRod Stephens Howling, Jordy Nelson, Stefan Logan, Marc Mariani, and Tiquan Underwood are just some of the players who have had success returning the ball this season.

Yet, you won't find any of Miami's return guys in the top 20 in either kickoff or punt returns (Courtesy of NFL.com and FoxSports.com).

Granted, the season is only three games old. However, consider how deflating Cobbs' (the Dolphins' highest ranked returner at no. 21 of all kick return qualifiers) numbers are so far: 21.9 yards per kick return with a long of just 30 yards.

That's called pedestrian, folks.

People often point to the traded Ted Ginn as a dynamic returner, and yes, he had two long return touchdowns against the New York Jets.

But Ginn failed to make a sizable impact in another game, except for running out of bounds even when he saw nothing but green in front of him. Ginn averaged 24.9 yards per kickoff return in 2009 largely based on those two 100-plus yard returns, but only 20.5 in 2008 and 22.7 in 2007 (courtesy NFL.com).

In his new surroundings in San Francisco, he has yet to make an impact as a returner or receiver.

Historically, Miami just doesn't seem to value dynamic returners. Consider some of the Dolphin returners of the past, such as Terrell Buckley, Brocky Marion, Irving Spikes Jerris McPhail, Dedric Ward, John Avery, Nate Jacquet, Autry Denson, Scott Miller, Kirby Dar Dar, Tom Vigorito.

Yes, this was a depressing trip down memory lane.

Heck, Fulton Walker and O.J. McDuffie are two of the most successful returners in the franchise's history. Walker's reputation was largely based on one play (his 98-yard kickoff return for a touchdown in Super Bowl XVII), and arguably his best season came as a punt returner for the Raiders in 1985.

McDuffie was one of the best wide receivers in Miami history, but only had one exceptional year as a returner. In 1993, he averaged 11.3 yards and scored two touchdowns on punt returns (courtesy of pro-football-reference.com).

Now consider some of the great returners we have seen in the NFL over the years, such as Eric Metcalf, Devin Hester, Dante Hall, Deion Sanders, Brian Mitchell, Mel Gray, Joshua Cribbs, Dave Meggett, Billy "White Shoes" Johnson. None have played for the Dolphins.

Miami was on record this week as saying they need to get their special teams "fixed." It's a consistent theme that the Dolphins hear every season.

Well, one way to fix it would be to finally bring a worthy returner into the mix.

I know that the Dolphins tried with the former Pro Bowler in Smith. It just didn't work out, but that doesn't mean that the team should stop its search there and just go with "safer" guys on the roster, as it has done so now and in the past.

The fans don't care how you get a worthy returner, whether it's through the waiver-wire, or an acquisition before the trade deadline, or even my classified ad (I'll let them have it for free). But find somebody who will give the Dolphins the special teams spark this team so desperately needs.