Adam Morrison to DC: Wizards, Los Angeles Lakers Finals Now Looking Inevitable

The NBA world has been rocked yet again.

Less than a week after Brian Scalabrine brought the thunder to the Chicago Bulls, another free agent stud has found a home.

Adam Morrison—NBA Champion, sex symbol, and facial hair extraordinaire—has accepted a training camp invitation to join the Washington Wizards.

Let's take a look at what Morrison brings to the table.

Fashion Consultant

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LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 06: (L-R) Lamar Odom #7, Adam Morrison #6, Ron Artest #37, Luke Walton #4 and Shannon Brown #12 of the Los Angeles Lakers sit on the bench near the end of the Lakers' loss to the Boston Celtics in Game Two of the 2010 NBA Finals at

You may notice that Adam is the only one not dressed for game activity here.

Obviously, Coach Phil Jackson took a long hard look at his roster.

Go-to scorer? Check.

Talented big men? Check.

Veteran point guard? Check.

Snappy dressing sex symbol to attract female fans to games?  A big check now thanks to Mr. Morrison.

All-NBA Defense

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You watching kids? This is how you play defense in the National Basketball Association.

Remember the BEEF shooting technique we all learned in grade school?  Adam's is slightly different for defense.

B: Balance, one knee up in the air in Karate Kid style.

E: Eyes, glued to the back of your opponent's head.  If you can see him, he can't see you.

E: Elbows, get 'em up and flailing around, one above the other.

R: Ready to attack.  Letting out loud, high pitched yelps always a plus.

Usher Services

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LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 22: (L-R) Josh Powell #21, Kobe Bryant #24 and Adam Morrison #6 of the Los Angeles Lakers celebrate on the bench in the second half against the Oklahoma City Thunder at Staples Center on November 22, 2009 in Los Angeles, Califo

With Adam on board, teams are free from hiring an extra usher.

"Excuse me sir, where is the hot dog stand?"

"Oh, up one level? Thank you."

Fresh Legs

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BOSTON - JUNE 10: (L-R) Shannon Brown, Jordan Farmar, Adam Morrison, Luke Walton and Andrew Bynum of the Los Angeles Lakers look on dejected from the bench late in the fourth quarter against the Boston Celltics during Game Four of the 2010 NBA Finals on

The NBA season is a long grueling one and general managers are always looking for guys who are fresh and can make an immediate impact with the team.  Adam fulfills both these qualities.

"I haven't played basically in two years, so I'm just looking for a place to get some quality minutes and try to get back in that rhythm again," Morrison said in Las Vegas.

Why is that, Adam?

Finally Out of Kobe's Shadow

Shaq and Kobe.  Iverson and Chris Webber.  Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo.

When you put two superstars together, it doesn't always last.  This was the case in L.A. the past two years as Adam was forced to sit idly by as time after time Kobe took all the credit for the Laker wins.

Having to face Morrison head to head in practice was far more difficult than any other opponent Kobe had to go up against in games.  Kobe later acknowledged this.

"Dude's a machine," said Bryant.  "He's like a father to me.  A younger, whiter, porn-mustache-faced father that is."

Now that Adam's with the Wizards, he's once again determined to dominate on the court now that he's free from the ball-hogging Bryant.

With a Wizards-Lakers Finals looking inevitable now, one can only feel pity for Bryant.

So watch out Kobe, because Morrison and his mustache are coming for you.