Outlandish Rumour of the Week: Cristiano Ronaldo To Return To Manchester?

Everyone enjoys an insane football rumour, and this one is a peach. 

According to online sources, reacting to apparent rumours from the Spanish capital, Manchester United are preparing a $100 million bid for their former player Cristiano Ronaldo. 

No doubt there are Manchester fans who wouldn't mind seeing their greatest player of recent years return, but even the most optimistic of them will admit that the odds of this deal happening are astronomically high. 

The rumours are seemingly set in Ronaldo's unhappiness at his new position, an unhappiness that is unnoticeable in his play and is almost certainly made up or exacerbated. 

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1) Where on earth would Manchester United raise $100 million from? Considering the problems around their finances compounded by a quiet transfer window, it would be impossible. 

2) Why would Real Madrid sell one of the two best players on earth a single season after buying him. A season in which Ronaldo was top, or near enough to the top of the goal-scoring and goal-assist charts for his club?

3) Ronaldo doesn't seem particularly unhappy, though he may be suffering a drought and so is Rooney, and Manchester don't seem keen to move him on immediately. That is not how world-class players and clubs work. 

Were we to put this into a percentage chance of happening, I feel that a 0.5 percent chance would cover it. I've been proven wrong before, but I'd eat my hat, and the hat of everyone I knew if this happened.