Steroids and Shakespeare: Bud Selig's Hypothetical Tragedy

Earlier this year when Mark Mcgwire admitted his steroid use, I couldn’t help noticing how serious everyone was taking this announcement as if it was something we all didn’t know (even if we didn’t want to admit it to ourselves) ten years ago.  Of course, the overall outcome of the steroid era is moot, as we have no true way of knowing who all did it and what exactly we were doing.  Rather we are left with the job of sifting through the wreckage debating who cheated more. 

It really becomes more of a cynical argument that takes much of the fun out of discussing baseball records, but I thought I would have fun with some revisionist history of the situation.  For those involved in the steroid era, it somewhat resembles a Shakespearian tragedy.  From the rising action and high times of the 80's and 90's, to the quagmire many former superstars find themselves in today, this story has something for everyone.  Here then is the briefest synopsis of the Shakespearian tragedy King Lear.

King Lear is an aging ruler of a large kingdom who is in need of an heir.  He summons his three daughters to him and decides that whichever one loves him the most will be given his kingdom.  Regan and Goneril lie and profess their love, while Cordelia simply states her loyalty.  Lear punishes Cordelia for her honest answer and gives the kingdom to his more “loving” daughters.  As Lear moves away from his duties as king, he is shuttled back and forth between Regan and Goneril, both of whom are using him for their own personal gain.  Meanwhile Cordelia is being courted by the king of France, who soon invades Lear’s weakened domain, nearly costing Lear his entire kingdom.  Soon Lear’s only confidant is the Fool, who ironically is the only one who speaks the truth.  Lear finally realizes who his true allies are and reconciles with Cordelia only to discover it is too late.  Cordelia has been mortally wounded in battle, but Lear is unable to see that. He still thinks that she is alive and a viable option to rule his kingdom. With this in mind, he gives up, dies, and loses his kingdom.

Now lets pick the MLB version of the story up in 1996.  Baseball is reeling from fan apathy after the 1994 strike.  Selig surveys the landscape and determines that people are captivated by the home run.  Selig knows of the steroid subculture in baseball, and  he will do anything to make baseball relevant again. So he surveys the landscape of baseball in 1996 to find the perfect suitors for his new challenge, saving baseball.  With this backdrop we substitute some names and places and we get.....

Bud Selig is the aging ruler of MLB looking for someone to save baseball after the 1994 strike.  He summons three of his most popular players and decides whichever one sucks up most will have the MLB marketing machine put behind him.  Mark Mcgwire and Sammy Sosa lie and profess their love for Selig, and their desire to do whatever is necessary to gain back fans, including taking and distributing steroids.  Ken Griffey Jr. simply states his loyalty to the game of baseball and no more.  Selig punishes Griffey for his answer, ignoring his monster seasons from 1997-2001, and pushes Mcgwire and Sosa as the face of MLB in the Summer of 1998.  As Selig tries to move away from his creation and  reap the benefits of their steroid fueled home run chase, he is shuttled back and forth between his two sluggers, both of whom (and the rest of the steroid users) are now using Selig and the home run for their own personal gain.  Meanwhile Griffey is being surrounded by the steroid culture, which invades Selig’s weakened domain, nearly costing Selig the credibility of his game. 

Soon Selig’s only true source on the matter is Jose Canseco, who ironically is the only one who speaks the truth.  Selig finally realizes who his true superstar could have been and reconciles with Griffey, only to discover it is too late.  Griffey is too old and has spent too much time injured to pull the wagon anymore, but Selig is unable to see that.  He still thinks that Griffey is the one clean player who can save the steroid era.  With this in mind, he gives up and loses baseball’s credibility.
Kinda fun, wasn’t it?..........Man for the sake of this article I hope Griffey is clean.