Dale's Power and Flower Of The New College Football Season

The 2010 Dale College Football Power and Flower Rankings

By Alan Dale

Moses Lake, Washington

College football creeps upon us once again and oh, what a wonderful moment it will be when the smell of freshly cut grass wraps itself around the odor of sweaty jerseys and cheerleader perfumes.

Seriously, the sport will enjoy another glorious season and what better than to throw into the hat, the 1st Annual Dale College Football Power and Flower Rankings.

That's right, Power AND Flower.

The Power? The true rankings of the team's in the nation that play D-1 (I refuse to call it the F*S) pigskin on a weekly basis.

But also we will delve deep into the Flower rankings. You know...the entities of D-1 football that best exemplify the weakest of the weak in what many falsely believe is a "man's" sport.

These "Flowers" are representatives of everything that does not best reprsent football and it's manliness.

Now I do indeed live our sport, in fact ever since I lived in Chicago and began watching Sweetness run the ball for my beloved Bears when I was only two -- swear, ask my mother.

Am I more skeptical about the true "Greatness" of the sport as I grow wiser? Absolutely. But I still hold a deep-rooted love for the sport and thus my involvement in fostering not only the greatness of the sport but also hardboring of my desire to quash the stupidity and the weak persons who tarnish it.

So now? On with the show:

The POWER TOP 20.

Barely Outside and Really Looking in: Miami of Florida, South Carolina, USC, Penn State, Louisiana State, Utah and West Virginia.

#20 Washington = A weakened league, combined with a rising talent core, and the best QB in America, makes 0-12 of 2008 almost appear to be a badly told joke.

#19 Houston = That high-octane offense and an experienced QB to keep it going may be just the ticket for the Cougars to make a bigger dent this year.

#18 Connecticut = Disciplined. Well coached. Due. Don't be surprised if the Huskies win the Big East as all signs point to a breakthrough.

#17 Georgia Tech = A strong running game and a coach who knows exactly what he wants could be all the difference in making the Yellow Jackets sting even harder.

#16 Pittsburgh = A top-notch defense, arguably the best running back in the land, and even Wannstedt may finally be doing something right, could prove beneficial at Pitt.

#15 Auburn = Very much improved from the ending of the Tubberville debacle and their offense could put a scare in the top dogs before it's all said and done.

#14 Wisconsin = Solid, fundamental, and a coach who has figured out how to do it on his own sees the Badgers ready for a bounce back year.

#13 Stanford = Toby was not the only reason for a great seaso in 2009 and coach Harbaugh is not a fluke. Don't  be surprised if this season turns out greater.

#12 Oregon State = Mike Riley finds ways to make the Beavers a threat every year. Now his talent may be up to the task for pushing for a Pac 10 title.

#11 Oklahoma = Kind of over the whole Stoops is God thing but his team does have a strong defense and return an offense that may have enough to overtake Texas.

#10 Florida = The Gators are stocked with talent and Brantley is an actual better QB than Tebow. Yet, is he as big a winner? 

#9 Virginia Tech = Year after year after year they find ways to blow their season up somewhere. The talent is there in 2010 to avoid such a collapse under coach Frank.

#8 Iowa = With a coaching staff as good as anyone's this team could surprise and win the Big 10. However, they need Stanzi to step up and stop with the picks.

#7 Oregon = Even with losing their goon squad of convicts-in-training the talent is there for a Ducks push. But coach Kelly is obviously in over his head.

#6 Texas = Mack Brown will get back on the horse and ride his newest QB to heights no one expects because the Longhorns are legit from top-to-bottom.

#5 Texas Christian = A head coach that is good for college football and a great defense gives the Horned Frogs another chance for an unbeaten regular season.

#4 Alabama = Riiiiight. They lose all but like one defensive starter and everyone says they will repeat? I am even skeptical at No. 4 but their offense will shine.

#3 Nebraska = Defense. Defense. Defense. Defense. This team has the best defense and an improving offense. Should win the Big 12.

#2 Boise State = So a team that returns everyone pretty much from a dominant 13-0 team DROPS in the polls? Yeah, right. Moore is the next Montana. A title beckons.

#1 Ohio State = I personally do not like the Buckeyes. However, their schedule is delicious, Pryor is improving, and their defense is good enough to take them to the BCS title game.

And the FLOWER TOP 10

#10 Teleivision coverage and the media = Yeah guys, keep glorifying all the losers and scums in the sport because you really believe people want to hear about them. Keep making yourself think that and sell your soul to the Devil just that little bit more.

#9 Rich Rodriguez = Cheated most likely at West Virginia and for sure at Michigan. Sounds more and more like the John Calipari of football, eh? All cheat, average ability, zero character.

#8 Realignment = These Athletic Directors are so transparent for the simple desire to make $ they could care less what they leave in their wake. Now we have a 10-team Big 12, a 12-team Big 10, a PACIFIC-based league with Colorado and Utah in it, and the Mountain West Conference which will include that mecca of mountains, Fresno. Sexy stuff, guys.

#7 Oregon Ducks uniforms = Stop trying to be a clothing franchise and just play some football without usiing thugs as your stars, okay? Quack, quack?

#6 Mike Stoops = As a University of Arizona alum, I am shamed by the antics of this moron. He spends more time crying and whining and throwing tantrums than he does actually teaching the game. No wonder the Wildcats have blown numerous late leads. His lack of composure has definitely trickled down into the players. Definitely.

#5 A lack of a D-1 playoff system = Yep, the athletes will suffer for four weeks since they will miss so much class they already will miss during the Winter Holiday Break when all classes are not in session.

#4 The NCAA = Just because.

#3 Urban Meyer = Won at Bowling Green with another coach's players. Won at Utah with another coach's players. Won his first title at Florida with another coach's players. Finally won something with his own, but only after getting such a false sense of street cred that every stellar Floridian prep star wanted in. Then he has a panic attack after losing to another overrated Simpleton and retires for a second. Then the new and improved Urbane Oscar Meyer rips on a media guy for having an opinion. I wonder how moronic he would look if he actually tried to build something from scratch?

#2 Nick Saban = This is the same guy who in the 90s bragged to SI about how he spent 20 hours a day working as the head coach of Michigan State only to go 6-5 every year? Dude, if you spend 20 hours a day to coach in MICHIGAN -- a hotbed of high school talent -- and go 6-5. You suck. Then he goes to LSU and Alabama, wins national titles with half of his roster being "other coach's" players, but then rips Les Miles for doing the same? The only reason why he is ahead of Urbane is because he is more of a neandrathal than Oscar Meyer.

#1 Commericalism = Just as in the case with all American sports, football itself has become the total joke of all entertainment. Really? Seriously? A game that takes 60 minutes to play on the clock lasting over three times that to finish? Okay, I can watch an entire TWO rugby matches in the time it takes to watch Florida State-Florida inand  pigskin. Enough with the commericals after punts and let's make the time in between plays shorter. These guys already are only active for what, like six seconds out of every 40 on average? Pump it up and speed the game already!