2011 NFL Mock Draft - Picks 1-10

32 teams, 17 weeks, 256 games. At the end of it all one quarterback gets to lift up a big metal trophy, while a college superstar gets to hold up a Rams jersey and feign excitement long enough for ESPN to cut to commercial so he can start crying.

It seems a little premature to predict that the Rams will finish with the league’s worst record. I mean who could have predicted that Mark McGwire used PEDs for ten years? OK that might not be the best example, but the point is except for Mel Gibson’s lifelong ban from universities with an ethnic studies program, nothing in life is an absolute certainty. Remember in 1999 when the Rams won the Super Bowl after making a super market bag boy their starting Quarterback when Trent Green got hurt?

I have a feeling though, that even if St Louis makes a run at re-signing superstar wideout Issac Bruce, their chances of improving their 1 win total from 2009 is so microscopic that they might be better off joining a flag football league sometime in late October.  

While it doesn’t take a degree in nuclear physics to guess who’s getting the top pick at Radio Music Hall in 2011, the rest of the draft order is difficult to forecast since the NFL is compromised mostly of teams that are playing for a chance to extend their season past the New Year.

So we’ll just stick to predicting which players are going first based on their level of production thus far in their collegiate careers. We’ll do 1 through 10 since most of us stop caring by eleven.

Numero Uno - A.J Green WR, Georgia

The Michael Crabtree of 2011, and if it was up to Al Davis again we’d see Michael Floyd in this position. But the Rams are smart enough to know that picking a guy sooner won’t make him a better player any more than paying him a lot more money than he’s worth.

At 6’4” Green will be a tempting down field target for Bradford whenever facing the blitz. In 2007, Tom Brady racked up 50 touchdowns by simply throwing the ball in the general direction of Randy Moss whenever he faced pressure by the defensive line. If Green can develop into the same magnetic receiver capable of attracting three defenders wherever he goes , then the Rams can exploit the seams in opposing secondaries and  commit themselves more to the running game. Stephen Jackson may finally have the breakout year they’ve been counting on ever since the departure of Marshal Faulk.

No. 2 - Andrew Luck QB, Stanford

In 2009 Cardinals football finally became watchable again thanks to the surprise emergence of redshirt freshman Andrew Luck. Luck’s accuracy and ability to scramble outside the pocket makes him the most able bodied athlete to attend Stanford since Tiger Woods. It’s scary to think how much better his game will be after playing under Jim Harborough for another year. Look at how good Tiger got talking golf with cocktail waitresses.

No.3 - Ryan Mallett QB, Arkansas

He’s the six foot seven inch equivalent to Brett Favre - rambunctious, durable, and likes to show off his arm whenever he can - so you can expect plenty of attention from the national media the day he decides to play for the NFL.

But being able to throw the ball far isn’t that great if a lot of your completions are to the wrong team.  This became less of a problem for Mallett when he escaped the University of Michigan dormitories by traveling under the building’s crawlspace, but even in Arkansas he’s demonstrated a tendency of making mental gaffes at the most important part of the game.

If his accuracy improves, clubs will feel more confident selecting him high on draft day. Hell, he might even be seven feet by then.  

No. 4 - "The Unshakeable" Patrick Peterson CB, LSU

What Darrelle Revis proved last year was that a cornerback can indeed be a superstar. Any defense with Patrick Petersen in their secondary will see two things more often, quarterbacks yelling at their receivers and quarterbacks lying face down on the ground and watching Pat go the other way for a score.

Peterson is a tall and physical defender capable of suffocating any receiver he covers. Since these blanket corners can neutralize an entire pass offense, look for the return of the sideline paparazzi whenever they face off against the Patriots.  

No.5 - Robert Quinn DE, UNC

A 6’5” 270 pound Athlete who plays for North Carolina, what is he, a shooting guard? Nope, Quinn is living proof that UNC has talent on the football pitch, outmaneuvering the fat guys on the other side of the line of scrimmage and getting to the quarterback three seconds into the play.  

In a draft full of defensive standouts, Quinn might be the one to surprise a lot of people when the top five selections are announced.

No.6 - Jake Locker QB, University of Washington

Last year Locker emerged as the potential number one pick, but he decided to pursue another year of education at the University of Washington. This normally isn’t a bad contingency plan, except his major is history. So unless he plans to go to law school or get his teaching credentials he might want to forget about career change possibilities unless he starts playing like JaMarcus Russell.

Locker’s pass and run abilities make him a good fit with any team, especially the Raiders who aren’t capable of either.

No.7 - Cameron "Ironhead Jr." Heyward DE, Ohio State

Yes he’s the son of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward who made loofahs popular in men’s shower rooms across the country by starring in a handful of Zest commercials.   

There’s a lot of reasons for teams to like Heyward. He’s a stud defensive end, an intimidating presence on the field, and owns a lifetime supply of soap bars. Quarterbacks are going to see a lot more of their passes being deflected with him in the pass rush, and running backs might try hiding behind the refs as an alternative to running straight into him.  

Isn’t it obvious what the “D” in draft stands for this year?

No.8 - Marcell Dareus DE, Alabama

The 2010 BCS MVP and frequent customer of the month at Arby’s, there’s no hole Dareus can’t plug. He moves faster than most 300 lb guys, breaking up screens and sprinting across the field to wrap up receivers running wide on a reverse. Oh and he can also get to the quarterback from time to time, piling up six and a half sacks last year with Alabama.

Another dominant season will cement his reputation as a top defensive back along with his ability to stand on top of a cheerleader pyramid.

No.9 - Mark Ingram RB, Alabama

Why isn’t the best running back in college football number 1? The same question was asked four years ago when the Texans selected Mario Williams in front of Reggie Bush. Well, now that Williams is good and Reggie spends a lot of his days in New Orleans being anything but the tailback he was in USC, the answer isn’t too hard to figure out is it?   

It’s true that RB is the most valuable position… in a fantasy football league. Ingram really shouldn’t be on this list, but that Heisman Trophy thing might have been small factor in our decision making.

No.10 - Julio Jones WR, Alabama

This is a risky selection considering how Jones’ ability to shake corners and bulldoze safeties is undermined by a habit of forgetting to take the ball with him before making a move on a defender.

But his potential to rip a hole through any secondary should be enough to convince GMs to take a chance on him under the presumption that a year in the NFL will help him catch a football. The 49ers tried that experiment with Terrell Owens for eight years before finally realizing that being patient with a player doesn’t always make him a better receiver. Or less of a headache.

Since Jones’ spot in the draft will depend heavily on how well he’ll be able to catch a football this year, every blown reception could cost him up to twenty thousand dollars. Two drops could probably buy the Florida Marlins.