Why I Hate the College Football Off-season

It's been about a month since I wrote something - and for those of you who still read this blog - and thank you to those who do - and you know what? It's been quite a struggle.

I'm just not that excited yet.

Jay Paterno tweeted a few days ago that there was "100 days to go until the start of the college football season", and I got excited. It was like crack to my veins.

I started dreaming about National Championships, wins at Alabama, Iowa AND Ohio State, and, of course, Oregon cheerleaders. I swear, I even got the line right at the Rose Bowl 2011 game between Oregon and...oh, that bit was cloudy.

But now I'm back to normal again. Which is weird, because it's about this time of the year that I should be getting excited again.

I should be slaughtering Phil Steele's pick of Oklahoma for this season's No.1 t eam ahead of Alaba, Ohio State, and Florida  in his daily radio show, but I can't bring myself to it - although seeing his Top 10 rankings (1. Oklahoma; 2. Ohio State; 3. Alabama; 4. TCU; 5. Nebraska; 6. Boise State; 7. Florida; 8. USC; 9. Miami; 10. Oregon) has definitely hyped me a little.

But what's the point? It's early June. The first game is still in three months' time. That's a new recovering alcoholic's period to go to a meeting a day or his sponsor kicks his ass all over the street.

I tried.

I wrote heartily about the Blue/White game, but a week later, I was past caring. I'd cared too much about the Blue/White game before, and had my hopes dashed a season later by one Anthony Morelli, who apparently "had a cannon" according to my friends, then lost it...fast.

The thing about the college football offseason is that it's too long. Conference commissioners start saying silly things about expansion, and suddenly the arms race in the Cold War seems tiny compared to the prospective arms race going on with these fat-cat conferences. 

And for all these shenanigans, it doesn't look like anyone's going to leave their respective conferences. Texas just gave their word of honor (mind you, so did Nick Saban to LSU and the Miami Dolphins back in the day!), and we think Missouri will do the same.

Everyone's going to stay where they are, and in a year's time, the conference heads will pick themselves up and say: "Right, where were we?" Why don't they just go to Disney and beg for more TV money, and not bother dragging us all into it? We need some quiet, for crying out loud! 

As a Penn State fan, I ask little from my team. First of all, I ask that they stay the hell out of trouble.

We don't need bows and arrows, prank calls, underage drinking or any illegal drug use. We don't need fights during summer school or someone getting in a fight with a fellow team member unless it's for yards.

I ask that the coaching staff sorts out who their quarterback is going to be, that the quarterbacks learn how to lead, to throw, and to avoid getting broken, the people trying to break the quarterback battle, the offensive linesmen learn how to stop them (which would be nice change from last year!), the wide receivers learn how to catch the quarterback's throws, and the cornerbacks do the same.

I ask that the special teams learn how to kick, return and tackle properly, and most of all, I ask that no one gets injured in the line of duty.


And then September will come. And the search for perfection will begin.