Dear Venus and Serena...

Julian JohnsonCorrespondent IApril 28, 2010

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 30:  Serena Williams of the United States of America celebrates winning championship point in her women's final match against Justine Henin of Belgium during day thirteen of the 2010 Australian Open at Melbourne Park on January 30, 2010 in Melbourne, Australia.  (Photo by Mark Dadswell/Getty Images)
Mark Dadswell/Getty Images

We hate you.

We hate your brown skin and your mindless athleticism.

We hate the fact that all of that talent sprouted in South Central Los Angeles, a community nurtured and sustained by racism/white supremacy, a dynamic that failed to keep you where we wanted to keep you...

We hate that all of those Grand Slam trophies were conceived, born and flourished in one niggerish, eyesore of a family (an amazing achievement....if only it were the Oudin girls).

Let's face it: we just hate you, and hating you is a sport unto itself (plus it doesn't have an offseason). If we didn't have you to hate, we'd have to talk about things like junior development and the (nonexistent) state of USTA or USPTA minority recruitment.

We know that your racist father has forced you to withdraw from matches with phantom injuries and has prearranged the outcomes of others.

It was Richard Williams like a ghetto Paul Revere, who yelled out the racist epithets at Indian Wells so you could come off looking like a pair of bespeckled Rosa Parkses amidst a mob of tanning booth troglodytes.

You are sneaky.

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You are unfair.

You don't complement the real American women.

You don't share.

For these and so many other reasons, we hate you with a purple passion reserved for commies, dictators, you and OJ.

To quote a most recent article by one of our great gatekeepers of tennis' "Skinlympics" {translation added}:

"Its time to call B.S on Venus and Serena" = You fork tongued, uppity negresses should "get back to where you once belonged" a.k.a. the caboose, with your skillets and fatback.

"They "stiffed" and "strung along the USTA, Fernandez and, worst of all, the other women on the squad" = "Who do you deceitful heifers think you are, not asking how high when we say jump?! WE get to decide when to strap you into the halter and have you plough our fields. Not you! After all, haven't we allowed you to play this great game of ours?

"They need to "(wo)man up" = You could never truly be women by our "Oil of Olay" standards, but if you want us to dial down the hot plate, you'd better learn to buck dance, watusi and play Fed Cup, or else.

Others (like James Blake) act and are "clean, honest and above board." But not you Williams Sisters, who consistently "ring false" and are "self-serving." = The only behavior of yours which WE will tolerate is head scratching, buttermilk grinning, yassa-bossin' servility.

Really, we have nothing against you. Its only constructive criticism we offer, nothing more. Its motivation. We have NO hidden agenda! Its what we'd say about any other player. Really!!!


George Orwell and the White Tennis Fam!

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