Parodying ESPN's Stuart Scott: Just Stick Gun in Barrell, Pull Trigger

Check it.  A wise man once said, “Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” That man? John Wooden. What he meant?  Not sure.

And that's real.

Mad science droppin' on you, son. Mad knowledge. And if you liked that, better stay tuned. Because what you hear? It's not a test. I'm bloggin to the beat.

Word up.

Today's subject? Haters. Urbandictionary.com defines it as "a person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success." I know this silky-smooth man before you has his share. I'm a great sportscaster, if I do say so myself. But the haters say my on-air persona is affected. Forced. Dated.

Dated? Word? For reals?

So what if I modeled myself after the House Party film franchise and, well, urbandictionary.com? And really, straight up, what else do you expect? I went to the same high school as Ben Folds, son. Ben Folds.

But I'm not here to talk about me! I'm here to talk about what I think about the ACC tournament. Specifically? The Maryland Terps, who play Georgia Tech tonight. A run to the ACC title could land the Terps crazy high in the Ginormous Get-down next week, which is what I call the Big Dance.

For Terps-Jackets, you know the names and games by now. Vasquez. Favors. Williams. Hayes. Lawal.  Two schools of thought on GT right now. One, they'll be geeked to face the Terps, as a win would get them off the bubble and avenge their previous buzzer-beater loss.

Two: this team may have lost the will to compete. Maybe they've even given up on coach Paul Hewitt. You want to talk about haters? The Jackets' AD is mum until the end of the season, but there's plenty of criticism to fill the void. Plenty of speculation that he'll be fired. In other words, plenty of Haterade.

I'm of the opinion that the Jackets are gonna fight. Go back to the top of this post, home skillet. Peep John Wooden. Athletes are always striving. What would rolling over in the biggest game of their college careers do for the draft stock of certain players? Nah, they're gonna come correct.

But after narrowly escaping Carolina just last night, they're not gonna have enough left for the high-octane Terps, particularly at the guard positions.  They're a tired puncher with a puncher's chance.

A loss might mean Hewitt's job. But don't hate, GT fans. Don't boo our athletes. They're human beings. Large human beings, famous and potentially very rich human beings, but human beings nontheless. So let's coddle our athletes. No booing. Please. You're making my eye well up. Most likely with tears.

If the Terps do get past GT, the only team in their half of the bracket who has beaten them this season is Clemson. And whoops! Looks like Clemson spit up that bit last night against N.C. State.  Hater in the house!  Mad props to the Pack.  Good news for Maryland, as they'll get either the Wolfpack or Florida State.

And I don't wanna say nothin', but that ain't right. The Pack? Not good. Period. The Noles? Finished strong. A projected eight seed. Mad respect. Mad flavor. But this season?  Maryland's straight killin 'em, son. Two wins with an average of 16 points.

With Alabi and Singleton inside, it's never a cake walk. But Maryland should handle them easy. Man, I'm givin the Terps crazy love right now!

But it's like another wise man once said:  Now that we've found love, what are we gonna do with it?  That man?  Heavy D.  So what will the Terps do?  That's right, son: overcome the haters.  A Maryland-Duke final would be for all the marbles, kid. Winner takes the season series and probably a two or three seed. Duke? Cool as the other side of the pillow. You know they're making it. We'll see whether the Terps can hold up their end. I'm thinking they will. Don't front.

Upsets have cleared out some of the better teams. We'll see if the Cinderella bug is here to stay, or if the remaining favorites are gonna show and prove like my man John Wooden. Or my hero, Jam Master Jay. Because for Maryland and Duke? Those turntables might wobble, kid. But they won't fall down.

And that's real.

**Celebrity "voice" impersonated.