Making Sense: part 2; John Lackey to Sox?

 

John Lackey, in rare above pic, not looking like he just swallowed a coconut cruller the size of Cincinatti...

 

John Lackey, as Fox Sports and the Boston Globe reports (a reputable source for sports as any, cough cough Boston Herald) is undergoing a physical for Red Sox MGMT.  This – to paraphrase virtually every other sports news source that doesn’t break from sports talk to give you a video of Kermit the Frog blasting the Iranian Revlutionary Guard – is almost always a move which indicates that the two sides are close to finalizing a deal.  Usually, the process goes a little something like this:

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Club Official: (to Lackey’s agent concerning the terms of the impending contract) so, we cool?

Agent: Yeah dog, we cool.

Club Official: Right, so before we fax you the paperwork, mind if we probe your client for an indefinite period of time in our training facilities?

Agent: (guffawing) You should know you don’t have to ask that!

Club Official: My bad, son.  Just trying to be upfront with y’all.

Agent:  Nah, it’s cool.  I’ll send John over and he can piss in a cup or doing jumping jacks or whatever it is your guys need to watch him do.  Then I’ll have my legal team examine whatever your team’s finalized.

Club Official: Sweetness.  Dollar, dollar bills son.

Agent: Dollar, dollar bills indeed.  And I will see you at our 6am tee in Tampa this Sunday, correct?

Club Official: (with palpable enthusiasm) No doubt!

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Now, there have been occasions in sports – notably after Drew Brees underwent a full-day physical by the Miami Dolphins medical staff – when the free agent didn’t end up signing with the team to which he was submitting his physical, but these cases are by far the rare exceptions to a pretty steadfast rule.