How to Follow the 2016 'Meme Team' on Social Media
Hey, 1992 Olympics basketball! Yeah, you. Keep your USA Dream Team. We'll just be over here basking in 2016's Meme Team (sorry).
Social media has completely changed the Olympic experience for both fans and participants. Athletes can document their exploits like never before (insert Draymond Green pun here), and us normal folk are granted unprecedented access to those escapades.
This year's USA men's basketball squad has been lighting up Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter while in Rio. Most of the players have become must-follows. Ignore their social media presence, and you're bound to miss something awesome—for around seven minutes, after which that something will go viral.
Even that's borderline immaterial. A one-stop shop for Team USA's individual social media accounts is still an urgent necessity. We will now bring you that list*.
(*All Snapchat usernames were culled from HoopsHype. If there is a player who has a Snapchat account and it's not listed, please angrily take to the comments section, and I'll sheepishly admit my folly.)
Carmelo Anthony
Instagram: @carmeloanthony
Snapchat: carmelokanthony
Twitter: @carmeloanthony
Social Media Rating: Entrepreneurial Grandpa
Carmelo Anthony's social media feeds are, collectively, a promotional dump. It can be kind of mundane following him at times.
To his credit, he's started using his platform for social activism in recent years and will post the occasional workout picture or video. He has spread his wings even further in Rio, branching out into "I'm a yacht salesman" territory:
Corny? You'd think. But Anthony has a Snapchat now, all for the sake of trolling Team USA's kiddies, so that makes him cool:
Let us also not forget that, on a broader scale, Anthony is good for one pastry-butt face troll job per lifetime.
Harrison Barnes
Instagram: @hbarnes
Snapchat: hbarnes40
Twitter: @hbarnes
Social Media Rating: Team Dad
"[Harrison] Barnes' role as team photographer was revealing," The Ringer's Matt Borcas wrote. "He might not have a single friend on Team USA."
This is a little strong. Barnes and Klay Thompson are totally cool.
Still, if you're looking for safe and contrived coverage of the Olympics from someone who's always smiling like he's about to announce his candidacy for president of the local neighborhood watch, Barnes is your guy:
Jimmy Butler
Instagram: @jimmybutler
Snapchat: N/A
Twitter: @JimmyButler
Social Media Rating: Self-Appointed Life Coach Understudy
Jimmy Butler's Twitter musings are infrequent, and he exudes more character on other players' Instagram posts. But hey! He published this video of burning Thompson on the gridiron:
Follow Butler's Instagram, if only for the football burns, motivational anecdotes and Photoshops of him guarding himself.
Instagram: @boogiecousins
Snapchat: boogiecousins
Twitter: @boogiecousins
Social Media Rating: Carmelo Anthony Jr.
DeMarcus Cousins may have taken social media lessons from Anthony—unless he's tweeting about the Sacramento Kings.
Granted, Cousins does start to distinguish himself on Instagram as a purveyor of awkward, seconds-long videos featuring his Team USA running mates:
Oh! We can't forget about the (probably) pensively staged photos, either:
That's all we're going to say. Messing with Cousins on social media any further is a risky gambit. He is not above causing a traffic jam on the team bus and inciting NSFW snark.
DeMar DeRozan
Instagram: @demar_derozan
Snapchat: N/A
Twitter: @DeMar_DeRozan
Social Media Rating: Situational MVP
DeMar DeRozan's Twitter feed is a glorified retweet-fest. His Instagram is more professional than personal—even when Drake makes a cameo.
DeRozan has established himself as a must-follow anyway. He is partially responsible for two of the greatest viral photos in history. Along with Draymond Green, he helped document Kevin Durant phoning home:
Then we have grumpy Carmelo:
"Carmelo out here like "Man, Vanessa Carlton was okay, but these dudes don't know nothin' 'bout Michelle Branch" pic.twitter.com/D8EsliE5DZ
— Adam Reisinger (@AdamReisinger) July 30, 2016"
Who knows, maybe DeRozan will capture a real-life unicorn wearing a Team USA jersey for his next trick. He picks his spots, so you never know. We have to respect that.
Kevin Durant
Instagram: @easymoneysniper
Snapchat: kd35official
Twitter: @KDTrey5
Social Media Rating: Subtle Name-Dropper
Aside from discussing certain social issues and marveling at life's journey, Durant's Twitter feed is mostly for business. It's the same deal on Instagram, albeit less frequently.
On occasion, though, Durant likes to let you know his friends are more famous than yours.
"Hi, my name is Kevin Durant, and I've bro'd out with Michael Phelps. Have you ever bro'd out with Michael Phelps? Didn't think so. Don't worry, it's no big deal. It's just everything you'd think hanging out with one of the greatest Olympians ever would be."
"Who's this, you ask? It's just Katie Ledecky, gold-medal swimmer. No big deal. She's 19 and makes most other millennials realize they're doing nothing with their lives. We go way back—all the way to Rio's opening ceremony and stuff."
"Yep, this is just Kobe Bryant and I, shooting the breeze. We do that. No big deal. All-time greats tend to run together. Exhibit B: my signing with the Golden State Warriors."
In immediate hindsight, this (likely) isn't the primary function of Durant's Instagram. But hyperbolic misinterpretations are a social media hazard when your post sample is so small.
Instagram: @ygtrece
Snapchat: N/A
Twitter: @Yg_Trece
Social Media Rating: Selfie GOAT
If you pay close enough attention, you can learn a thing or two about Paul George from his tweets. For instance, he's abnormally attached to his Jeep/really skilled at dropping sponsorship plugs, and his musical tastes do not align with Justin Bieber's body of work.
More than anything, George is deft at providing pictures of himself:
Some might call this vain. I wouldn't. Anyone who wears their own jersey on vacation and mistakes Rio for Hollywood is nothing short of legendary.
Draymond Green
Instagram: @money23green
Snapchat: money23green
Twitter: @Money23Green
Social Media Rating: Serial Snapper
Anything you do around Green is liable to end up on Snapchat. I mean, even he's not safe from his serial snapping.
We love him for this...most of the time. Without him, we wouldn't know how Team USA sounds as a country music ensemble:
(Aside: See what I was saying about Butler being far more awesome on other people's feeds now?)
We wouldn't have any idea how to rank Team USA's individual hairlines:
And we most certainly wouldn't have Anthony as Old Man Rivers:
"Lmao Melo hates everyone on that plane pic.twitter.com/be2qLx9yhD
— Henn Griffey Jr. (@IAMKRIS24) July 30, 2016"
Keep snapping, Drayzilla Draymond. (Fully clothed, if possible.)
Instagram: @kyrieirving
Snapchat: uncledrewsnap
Twitter: @KyrieIrving
Social Media Rating: Endorse Everything or Die Trying
The last time Kyrie Irving fired off a non-promotional tweet? May 5, when he was wishing Chris Brown a happy birthday.
Though Irving has posted a bunch of Instagram photos on Team USA's behalf, his timelines could use an infusion of spontaneity. Snapchat is his saving grace:
Follow him for the random clips with teammates. Stay for his low-key amazing facial expressions.
DeAndre Jordan
Instagram: @deandrejordan6
Snapchat: N/A
Twitter: @deandrejordan6
Social Media Rating: Registered Fun-Haver
Let us count all the Olympic Instagram posts in which DeAndre Jordan looks like he's having the time of his life.
There's this:
And this:
And this:
And then there's—actually I'm going to stop now, because I can't count to infinity.
Moral of the story: Follow him. He's the human version of those puppy dog memes you look at when you're having a crappy day.
Kyle Lowry
Instagram: @kyle_lowry7
Snapchat: N/A
Twitter: @Klow7
Social Media Rating: Endearingly Profound
To be honest, I tend to tire of players who flood social media with their posts about strength, hard work, depth of character, etc. Kyle Lowry's Twitter and Instagram are the exceptions.
There's something endearing about the way he can take a picture as ostensibly comical as this:
And accompany it with a birthday wish as soul-stirring as this:
"This is a real friendship , this is a real bother, this is us forreal!!! Words can only explain so much to what this dude means to me so it's not going even matter what i say because words can't explain how important our friendship is to me. Thank you for being you at all time no matter what from DAY1( even though you ain't pass me the ball back when I 1st got to the team😂😂jk) but we've grown as men, fathers , sons, and everything else in the last 4 years and most importantly we've done it TOGETHER!! I could go on and on but I ain't because you soft and might cry when you read it so imma stop now 😂😂. I love you bro that's real talk, no matter what happens ever in life we still gone be brothers!! Happy life day !!!!
"
Definitely follow Lowry's Olympic, regular-season and playoff journeys—provided you're not allergic to Kleenex.
Klay Thompson
Instagram: @klaythompson
Snapchat: N/A
Twitter: @KlayThompson
Social Media Rating: Only Here For The DMs
Thompson isn't the most avid Instagram or Twitter user. But his demeanor is great fodder for our social media experience:
For this alone, we must follow him, maintaining zero expectations for his content yet anxiously hoping Green will one day break him out of his social media shell.
Dan Favale covers the NBA for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter, @danfavale.
