10 January Transfer Rumours That Will Almost Definitely Not Happen
Thus far, the January transfer window has been dominated by stories from the managerial merry-go-round. However, as February approaches, the back pages will be filled with more and more speculation about the big names who will be changing the colour of the clothes they go to work in.
Here are 10 major transfer rumours that have either been mooted or are on the cusp of making it into a red top tabloid.
You'll have more chance of buying a unicorn at Debenhams than seeing any of these players make a move this month...
Gareth Bale to Manchester United
1 of 10
The Daily Mail is among those claiming Gareth Bale will leave the Bernabeu for Old Trafford this month, with a £75 million offer being tabled. The logic is that the Welshman was upset by Rafa Benitez's departure and he may not wish to be moved to the wing under Zinedine Zidane.
The Bale-to-Manchester United rumours simply refuse to go away, but realistically speaking, is he really going to want to force a mid-season move away from Real Madrid for a team full of (reportedly) unhappy players, per ESPN FC's Miguel Delaney, who might not qualify for the Champions League?
Nope.
Thomas Muller to Manchester United
2 of 10
Thomas Muller is in phenomenal form this season, bagging 14 goals and three assists in 15 league games so far (as per ESPNFC).
The German striker, who admits to having a "special relationship" with Louis van Gaal, has already been the subject of rejected offers from Ed Woodward. He is clearly a wanted man.
It's possible that Muller will reassess his position in the summer, but during January, Karl-Heinz Rummenigge will be ignoring all calls with a "+44" prefix that come to him—and marking all emails from Woodward a spam.
Cristiano Ronaldo to Paris Saint-Germain
3 of 10
Paris Saint-Germain aren't short of a bob or two and have long been rumoured to be interested in the services of Cristiano Ronaldo.
Up to £125 million might be on offer, according to many reports. We are also told, by outlets including the Daily Star, that the Portuguese megastar is ready to quit the Bernabeu.
We will no doubt be fed rumours of Ronaldo's move to PSG, Manchester United, MLS, Qatar or probably Stoke over the next few weeks. It will not happen.
After all, if he left Madrid, who would be left to look really unhappy when someone else scores a goal?
Lionel Messi to Manchester City
4 of 10
Remember last January when Leo Messi was "unhappy" during Barcelona's "crisis" and was on the verge of joining Chelsea for £200 million in a deal subsidised by Adidas? Brace yourselves for another round of rumours linking the Argentinean with the Premier League!
Messi is already being lined up as a potential Manchester City player, should Pep Guardiola grace the club with his presence (as per the Guardian), which is a feasible Premier League plotline for the summer.
As for the January rumours when they start rolling in? Ignore them.
Douglas Costa to Chelsea or Manchester United
5 of 10
Hey, Douglas Costa! You've been highly praised as one of the greatest signings of the 2015-16 campaign, enjoying immense success and flexibility in whichever position Guardiola chooses to use you in.
Fancy coming to one of two clubs in disarray with only tangible hopes of Champions League football next season?
Yeah, didn't think so.
Eden Hazard to Real Madrid
6 of 10
It's fair to say that Eden Hazard hasn't been his usual self this season. In fact, of all the players in this list, he might be the most likely to up sticks in January. According to the Telegraph, Real Madrid might be lining up a £100 million bid, too.
However, the Telegraph also concedes that a January move would be very unlikely—particularly for a Spanish giant that loves to waste/spend lots of money of forwards during the summer, not the winter.
Don't break out the Spanish phrasebook just yet, Eden.
Toni Kroos to Liverpool
7 of 10
What do you get if you add a new Premier League manager to a team with a staggering injury list? That's right, infinite transfer rumour stories!
Liverpool are being linked with virtually everyone in the market, including Toni Kroos, who is reportedly unsettled at Real Madrid.
Now Benitez has departed, it is perfectly possible that Kroos will re-establish his place in Los Blancos' side. This is another deal that might have more potential in the summer.
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to Arsenal
8 of 10
It seems like it's only a matter of time before Bundesliga top scorer Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang is swayed by the riches of the Premier League.
The club in the driving seat for his signature appears to be Arsenal, who might be willing to splash £42 million on the Gabonese forward (as per the Sun).
But let's be honest, this is Arsenal we're talking about. Arsene Wenger will probably drop a reggae album before he starts spending wild sums in the January transfer window.
Expect this one to be teased up until the deadline, after which Le Professeur will announce the capture of a 16-year-old from Stade Rennes. And some long-term injuries.
Jamie Vardy to Manchester United
9 of 10
"Chat s--t," get lucrative offers from Premier League giants.
Metro reports on Manchester United's pursuit of Jamie Vardy, reasoning that the Premier League's joint-top scorer might be the solution to the Red Devils' difficulties in finding the net.
Offers from Manchester United are certainly flattering for the former non-league striker, but it seems unlikely that Louis van Gaal would roll the dice on the 29-year-old at this stage—particularly when he could spend twice as much on a more established name who has scored fewer goals this season. Ahem.
Besides, Vardy has his games room just the way he likes it—why would he want to move it?
Radamel Falcao to Columbus Crew
10 of 10
No offence to the game in North America, but this transfer rumour gives us the sads.
Not so long ago, Radamel Falcao was among the greatest strikers in the world. Now he can't get a game and is being linked with a move to Columbus Crew in MLS (as per the Mirror). Not the glamorous clubs in New York or Los Angeles but the one in working-class Ohio.
Don't bet your house on this one happening—Jorge Mendes will probably be able to get the Colombian a gig wherever Jose Mourinho ends up next.
