Philadelphia Newscasters Murder Cam Newton's 'Dab' Dance Once and for All

Welp. Everyone out. Party's over.

It was good while it lasted, but the Uncoordinated Authorities have brought the dab in for questioning. And I can assure you it will never be the same once they're done.

Just a few short days after Cam Newton "dabbed on them folks" and sparked a national morality debate over quarterback touchdown celebrations, the dance he adopted as his own has been officially laid to rest in a quiet Philadelphia newsroom.

Good Day Philadelphia's Alex Holley tweeted footage of her and her Fox 29 colleagues discussing and practicing the dab on the air Wednesday.

I warn you: What you're about to see may disturb you:

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

It began with Fox 29 weatherwoman Sue Serio showcasing her interpretation of the dance.

"So this dance is called 'the dab'?" Serio asked. "Am I really behind the times? You go like that? I was looking that up. That's a dab?"

"Yes," confirmed Holley, realizing a horrifying Pandora's box had just been opened.

And then this—your moment of zen—occurred:

Aaaand curtain.

Hit the house lights, please. Thank you everyone for coming out and supporting local art. I hope you enjoyed yourself and drive home safely. The dabbing den has closed. You don't have to go home, but you can't dab here.

I can't say I didn't see this foreclosure coming.

Any illusion I might've held about the dance's continued longevity was shattered earlier today when Cris Carter began "bapping" on folks on dad-talk radio—but I didn't expect to see it wiped out the same day, in a single, 20-second sequence.

But that's life! All that is good dies young in this world, and you can't say the dab didn't have a good run. 

It made a lot of people happy, while simultaneously irking many self-fashioned football moralists. The dab burned too bright, too soon, to sustain itself.

And for that, we can do nothing but smile and remember the dance as it was: a good thing that made bored people angry. 

Dan is on Twitter. He was B/R's lead dab correspondent until November 18, 2015, 3:01 p.m. ET.